Observations From My Couch: UFC 102

• Brandon Vera won because of his vastly superior striking skills, but he also had the advantage over Krzysztof Soszynski because of his name. Seriously, who doesn't prefer saying "Vera" over "Soszynski"?
• Who was that Jake Rosholt? He was a lot more exciting and capable than the one-dimensional Jake Rosholt we'd seen previously.
• By the way he came in throwing kicks and got totally messed up by a single punch, you could tell Demian Maia is a fantastic jiu-jitsu guy.
• Todd Duffee seems tough, but he needs to face someone who won't get knocked out by a jab.
• Ed Herman: the next in a long line of TUFers who belong in the minor leagues.
• How on Earth was Evan Dunham vs. Marcus Aurelio a split decision? That one wasn't even close.
• It's time for the "Dean of Mean" to hang up the gloves and go back to academia.
• Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira looked great - maybe the best ever. Randy Couture looked old - maybe the oldest ever.

Fabricio Werdum Cut From the UFC; the World Mourns

The world is in mourning today with the news that Fabricio Werdum, a Brazilian heavyweight and jiu-jitsu black belt, was cut from the UFC's roster. The purported reason behind his exit is said to have been contractual in nature, driven in no small part by the Chute Boxe fighter's shocking upset loss to Junior dos Santos at UFC 90. Werdum's career highlights included TKO wins over Brandon Vera and Gabriel Gonzaga in the Octagon, and Pride victories over Aleksander Emelianenko and Alistair Overeem. Said UFC Chief Executioner Dana White, "I know I'm not alone in feeling like we've lost a good friend today... Say, do you want to be fucking fighter?" Werdum leaves behind an ill-conceived heavyweight tournament and a disgustingly-anemic weight class. In lieu of flowers, the UFC prefers fans to make a cash donation to the "Give the UFC Your Money" charity.

Things That Won't Happen at UFC 89

UFC 89. Birmingham, England. SpikeTV. Yeah, right on. Anyway, the following is a list of things that definitely won't happen at the Michael Bisping/Chris Leben headlined event.

1. Chris Leben will not win by omoplata.
2. Michael Bisping will not say anything after the bout that an American will be able to understand.
3. Brandon Vera will not do a victory dance resembling the Cha-Cha or the Charleston. Sadly.
4. Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou will not utilize a cloaking device or shoulder-mounted laser.
5. Marcus Davis will not thank the Irish Republican Army for their war against the British.
6. Chris Lytle will not get cut and bleed profusely. Oh, forget that one. He's going to be spurting blood simply from walking to the cage.

Manager Mark Dion Screws KJ Noons Out of an MMA Career

EliteXC stripped KJ Noons of his lightweight championship belt on Friday, the sad result of a dispute involving Noons' refusal to rematch against Nick Diaz and Noons' manager Mark Dion insisting that he alone should pick and choose his client's opponents. As some may remember, Dion was Brandon Vera's manager, and his efforts at playing hardball with the UFC left Vera on the sidelines for months until Vera wriggled free of Dion's clutches. Now, it's apparently Noons' turn to get screwed, as the Diaz rematch - which was initially offered as a headlining bout on a live CBS show and then on a Showtime card - would have a provided Noons with more exposure than ever. Hopefully, the promising lightweight's career will recover from this setback.

Observations from My Couch: UFN 14

- CB Dollaway finished Jesse Taylor in impressive fashion, punctuating a very exciting and memorable season of TUF. Um, not. - Kevin Burns defeated Anthony Johnson via bout-ending gouge to the eyes. Afterwards, Burns assured fans that he has a full arsenal of such techniques at his disposal, including the throat-bite, the groin-kick and the chair-busted-over-opponent's-head-when-opponent-isn't-looking. Expect big things from this future champ. - Frankie Edgar looked great controlling Hermes Franca with repeated takedowns. Unfortunately, Edgar's win will be tarnished when Franca tests positive for rollerskates in his post-fight drug screen. - Brandon Vera and Reese Andy clashed and... zzzzzzz... zzzzzz... *snore* zzzzz... - UFC middleweight monster Anderson Silva dispatched light-heavyweight James Irvin in a minute and one second. Why so quickly? Silva wanted to get home and watch Affliction on DVR.