Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Dana White Changes Tune, Declares Kimbo Slice "Best Heavyweight Ever"

In a sudden reversal of position, UFC Chief Schizophrenic Dana White has declared Kimbo Slice "the best heavyweight ever", and has opened up his checkbook to entice the former EliteXC star into participating in the tenth season of "The Ultimate Fighter". The words of praise are a stark contrast to the opinion White touted when Slice headlined two CBS-broadcasted fight cards, an opinion which included such descriptives as "garbage", "trash", "talentless", "not a real fighter" and "I hate him, he's doo-doo". Now, however, when faced with a stale reality TV show format and stagnant ratings, that tune has changed. "Kimbo Slice is a great man," said White. "And not just a great man, but a humanitarian, a philanthropist, a philatelist and a stud. The UFC is lucky to have him." TUF 10 will also feature Quinton "Rampage" Jackson and Rashad Evans as coaches, and is slated to air on SpikeTV after White's medication wears off.

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