Wednesday, August 18, 2010

MMA Journalist's Four-Day Forecast

Rain, sleet, snow, sunshine – thanks to the WEC, Bellator and Strikeforce, there’s one heck of a varied MMA weather pattern in store for the next few days.  When will you need an umbrella to keep the crapfest from raining down on you?  What day will the glare from Stephen Quadros’s demonic smile require SPF 200 sunblock?  When does avoiding your TV, going out and hiding under a bush in the park become your best option?  Here’s MMA Journalist’s four-day forecast!

  • Wednesday: WEC 50 rolls into Las Vegas like a cool desert breeze tonight.  And like a breeze, you won’t notice it unless you’re paying attention.  Why is that?  Because the WEC has managed to cultivate a decent number of stars in the lower weight classes and none of them are on the card.  Human tornado Dominic Cruz gets to defend his bantamweight belt against Urijah Faber-protégé Joseph Benavidez – and he probably will beat the little dust cloud by decision like he beat him before – and a tough and experienced bit of British fog known as Brad Pickett will turn the Scott Jorgensen picnic into a washout.  But who cares?  The WEC’s got an A-list, and these guys aren’t on it.
  • Thursday: Thursday’s Bellator 25 card in Chicago includes a brief ray of sun in the form of Jessica Pena and Zoila Frausto in a 115-pound female tournament quarterfinal bout.  Pena is a top-five fighter and Frausto was unranked until last month, when she blasted top 125-pounder Rosi Sexton with a bolt of lightning and took Sexton’s spot in the tournament.  Frausto may be hard to predict in terms of whether she’ll bring the rain or just be overcast, but we know damn well she’s capable of thunder now, so this bout is worth watching.  Also worth it: Season 2 welterweight tourney runner-up Dan Hornbuckle vs. Brad Blackburn, which pits a submission storm against a smothering mud puddle.  The rest of the card, however, includes disaster Cole Konrad and three other scrubs in heavyweight quarterfinal fights.  Stay indoors for those.
  • Friday: Clear and beautiful with no MMA scheduled.  Now would be a good time to walk around your neighborhood toting a 1800s Parisian parasol.
  • Saturday: Strikeforce will hit Houston like an avalanche on Saturday, burying folks in the snow job that is ex-pro wrestler Bobby Lashley vs. no-name Chad Griggs.  But those who manage to dig themselves out of the white powder will get treated to the completely irrelevant pairing of Jorge Gurgel and KJ Noons, which will end with Gurgel out-struck, bleeding and TKO’d.  Lay-and-pray master Muhammed Lawal (aka “King Mo”) gets to defend his light-heavyweight belt against the hot-and-cold Rafael “Feijao” Cavalcante) in what promises to be a fight as exciting as watching ice melt.  Yet those who are fans of grappling will most likely be making snow angels when Tim Kennedy and Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza go at it for the middleweight title.

That’s it for the weather.  Now, over to Richard for the traffic report.  Richard?

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