Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Shine Fights Upcoming Lightweight Grand Prix to Feature Nothing, Absolutely Nothing

In today's installment of "As the Shine Fights Turns", the Oklahoma State Athletic Commission promises to suspend all fighters who compete on the eight-man lightweight tournament planned for Shine Fight's September 10th card, a card that went from the unloving embrace of the Virginia commission to the barren, unsanctioned wasteland of the First Council Casino of the Otoe-Missouria Tribe.  Meanwhile, Shine Fights' Minister of Information Jason Chambers continues to insist that all is well and that the sudden change of venue was prompted by the Virginia commission's insistence that a licensed matchmaker make the lightweight grand prix match-ups - a claim the Virginia commission refutes (Commission Program Director James Holland: "Hey, I don't know much about MMA and licensing shows, but I think you need a bond.  Any idea what that is?  I don't.").  In Brazil, tournament competitor Marcus Aurelio begins sweating over the possible suspension he'll face, worried that it will jeopardize his participation in the DREAM 16 event in Japan and impede his ability to pay for the kidney stone operation his pet cat "Fifi" desperately needs.  And back in Fairfax, fans who purchased tickets are still scratching their heads over what they're going to do on Friday night now that their plans of drinking a twelve-pack of Miller Lite and vomiting on the floor of the Patriot Center's main concourse are kaput.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Really, you had to go and call Oklahoma a "wasteland". Two words for you sir...Fuck You