God to Dana White: "I Warned You Not to Have UFC 108. Now Suffer the Consequences."

In an unusual move, God has issued a statement directly addressing Dana White in regards to this Saturday's much-maligned UFC event - an event that's been plagued by a ton of injuries resulting in countless lineup changes. "I warned you not to have UFC 108," the statement begins. "Now suffer the consequences." As for what those consequences might be, God is remarkably clear. "You wanted a main event between Brock Lesnar and Shane Carwin, and I struck them both down. Now you put forth Rashad Evans and Thiago Silva? A swarm of locusts shall descend upon the TUF House and it shall rain within the MGM Grand Garden Arena for 40 days and 40 nights!" As for the ever-changing opponents for lightweight Jim Miller, God says, "I thought I made myself clear when I smote Tyson Griffin and Sean Sherk, but alas, no. Leprosy and blindness upon the Nevada State Athletic Commission judges!" God goes on to denounce the pairings of Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira and Cain Velasquez, Anderson Silva and Vitor Belfort, and Gabriel Gonzaga and Junior dos Santos. "You dare put Junior dos Santos in the cage?" says God. "Then I shall give you... Wait, you have Gilbert Yvel in there? Forget it, that's punishment enough." Dana White has yet to reply publicly to God, although according to a source within the UFC, three prized interns may be sacrificed for appeasement.

New Additions to Bellator Roster

Bellator Fighting Championships, which debuted last year on ESPN Deportes and featured four eight-man tournaments stocked with a Latino-centric roster of fighters, has announced a number of new signings for its upcoming season. Sure to make waves in the 145-pound division is the Taco Bell Dog, a feisty chihuahua known for his guard game and knack for slick submissions. Meanwhile, in the welterweight division, Pedro the Man in a Bumble Bee Suit enters the fray to face the likes of Dan Hornbuckle, judoka Jim Wallhead and wrestler Ben Askren, and in the middleweight ranks comes El Diablo, a masked luchador with hopes of dethroning current 185-pound champ Hector Lombard. Said Bellator head honcho (hehe) Senor Bjorn Rebney, "Ariba!"

Underground Promoter to Open School

Want to learn how to fight to the death? Underground Combat League promoter Peter Storm is opening up an school called MMA University in the South Bronx, and with multiple disciplines taught by a variety of instructors, you too can become a street-certified illicit combat club assassin. For more info, shoot Storm an email at peterstorm@hotmail.com .

Who the Hell is Anthony Morrison?

Mike Brown is scheduled to return to action at WEC 46 and he's facing Anthony Morrison. Um, who? Anthony "Bad Mutha" Morrison. That's who. Morrison was a heavy-handed amateur with a boxing background knocking opponents out regularly, and when he transitioned to pro MMA he overcame a rocky start to establish himself as one of the Northeast's tougher 155/145 pounders. But 2009 ended up a strong year for the colorful "mini-Rampage", for despite two losses via submission, he picked off veteran studs Kevin Roddy, Tim Troxell and Jeff Lentz, scored himself the Ring of Combat featherweight belt, and - the piece de resistance - wrecked UFC veteran Alvin Robinson. How does Morrison stack up against Brown? Well, Brown was the WEC's 145-pound champ and he does have more experience fighting at the highest levels... But with KO power in his hands and an ever-improving ability to avoid submissions, you can never count Morrison out. Never.

Kung Fu vs. Karate Superbout Cancelled - Why?

The eagerly anticipated kung fu vs. karate superbout slated for Friday night's KAPMMA amateur show in Newark, featuring noted anti-MMA proponent Novell Bell against Sensei Mo, was cancelled at the last minute. The reason: a panoply of New Jersey State Athletic Control Board restrictions on particular techniques and certain katas. According to a commission spokesperson, there are strict rules against "Dim Mak, Eagle Claws, the forms known as 'Monkey Takes the Peach' and 'Serpent Hides in the Cave', and the dreaded Chinese Wuxie Finger. There's also a prohibition against excessive chi, and based on a pre-fight urinalysis, Mr. Bell's chi was off the charts." It's assumed that the Bell/Sensei Mo bout will be rescheduled and moved to a venue in Alabama, where there's no athletic commission to get in the way of the use of the Death Touch.

Observations From My Couch: WEC 45 "Skadoosh!"

• Scott Jorgensen did a fantastic job, and he’s opened the door for albinos, lepers and sufferers of psoriasis to compete and excel at the highest levels.
• I’m not going to claim that Rani Yahya sucks at striking.  However, my 2-year-old daughter calls the elderly woman that lives next door “Ya-Ya”, and I seriously doubt that woman could throw a punch.  I’m just saying.
• Courtney Buck is one scary-looking dude.  I hid behind my couch when he appeared on my television.
• A Brit pulling off a Peruvian necktie?  What’s next?  An American pulling off the Chinese Wuxi Finger Hold? 
• Skadoosh!
• Chris Horodecki was confused and thought it was a footrace.  Anthony Njokuani was confused and thought Horodecki knew how to fight.
• Donald Cerrone may have won the battle, but OH MY GOD ED RATCLIFF’S NUTS ARE BROKEN!

Observations From My Couch: Strikeforce's "Pure Awesomeness"

• Mike Whitehead looked like an animal in there.  You know, like an elephant or hippopotamus. 
• All hail King Mo!
• Nice job on Jacare’s part for submitting the tough Matt Lindland.  Nice job on Lindland’s part for not trying to claim that he didn’t tap out (note: see Lindland vs. Murilo Bustamante).
• Not only did Gilbert Melendez and Josh Thomson wage an epic battle, they put a ton of other top fighters in the division to shame.  That was pure awesomeness from start to finish.
• Scott Smith vs. Cung Le is the reason people watch mixed martial arts.  It’s also the reason why Strikeforce is destined to succeed.

December 2009 Independent World MMA Rankings

December 18, 2009: The December 2009 Independent World MMA Rankings have been released. These rankings are independent of any single MMA media outlet or sanctioning body, and are published on multiple web sites.

In addition to the numerous MMA web sites that publish the Independent World MMA Rankings, you can also access the rankings at any time by going to www.IndependentWorldMMARankings.com.

Some of the best and most knowledgeable MMA writers from across the MMA media landscape have come together to form one independent voting panel. These voting panel members are, in alphabetical order: Zach Arnold (Fight Opinion); Nicholas Bailey (MMA Ratings); Jared Barnes (Freelance); Jordan Breen (Sherdog); Jim Genia (Full Contact Fighter, MMA Memories, and MMA Journalist Blog); Jesse Holland (MMA Mania); Robert Joyner (Freelance); Todd Martin (CBS Sportsline); Jim Murphy (The Savage Science); Zac Robinson (Sports by the Numbers MMA); Leland Roling (Bloody Elbow); Michael David Smith (AOL Fanhouse); Jonathan Snowden (Heavy.com); Joshua Stein (MMA Opinion); Ivan Trembow (Freelance); and Dave Walsh (Total MMA and Head Kick Legend).


Note: Will Ribeiro is no longer eligible to be ranked, due to the fact that he has not had an MMA fight in over 12 months.

December 2009 Independent World MMA RankingsBallots collected on December 15, 2009

Heavyweight Rankings (206 to 265 lbs.)
1. Fedor Emelianenko (31-1, 1 No Contest)
2. Brock Lesnar (4-1)
3. Frank Mir (13-4)
4. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (32-5-1, 1 No Contest)
5. Shane Carwin (11-0)
6. Brett Rogers (10-1)
7. Alistair Overeem (31-11, 1 No Contest)
8. Junior dos Santos (9-1)
9. Cain Velasquez (7-0)
10. Fabricio Werdum (13-4-1)

Light Heavyweight Rankings (186 to 205 lbs.)
1. Lyoto Machida (16-0)
2. Mauricio "Shogun" Rua (18-4)
3. Rashad Evans (13-1-1)
4. Quinton Jackson (30-7)
5. Anderson Silva (25-4)
6. Gegard Mousasi (27-2-1)
7. Forrest Griffin (17-6)
8. Antonio Rogerio Nogueira (18-3)
9. Dan Henderson (25-7)
10. Thiago Silva (14-1)

Middleweight Rankings (171 to 185 lbs.)
1. Anderson Silva (25-4)
2. Nathan Marquardt (29-8-2)
3. Dan Henderson (25-7)
4. Vitor Belfort (19-8)
5. Demian Maia (11-1)
6. Jake Shields (24-4-1)
7. Chael Sonnen (24-10-1)
8. Yushin Okami (23-5)
9. Robbie Lawler (16-5, 1 No Contest)
10. Jorge Santiago (21-8)

Welterweight Rankings (156 to 170 lbs.)
1. Georges St. Pierre (19-2)
2. Jon Fitch (20-3, 1 No Contest)
3. Thiago Alves (16-6)
4. Josh Koscheck (14-4)
5. Dan Hardy (23-6)
6. Matt Hughes (43-7)
7. Paulo Thiago (12-1)
8. Mike Swick (14-3)
9. Carlos Condit (24-5)
10. Marius Zaromskis (13-3)

Lightweight Rankings (146 to 155 lbs.)
1. B.J. Penn (15-5-1)
2. Shinya Aoki (22-4, 1 No Contest)
3. Eddie Alvarez (19-2)
4. Kenny Florian (12-4)
5. Tatsuya Kawajiri (25-5-2)
6. Gray Maynard (8-0, 1 No Contest)
7. Frankie Edgar (11-1)
8. Diego Sanchez (21-3)
9. Joachim Hansen (19-8-1)
10. Mizuto Hirota (12-3-1)

Featherweight Rankings (136 to 145 lbs.)
1. Jose Aldo (16-1)
2. Mike Brown (22-5)
3. Urijah Faber (22-3)
4. Hatsu Hioki (20-4-2)
5. Bibiano Fernandes (7-2)
6. Raphael Assuncao (14-1)
7. "Lion" Takeshi Inoue (17-3)
8. Wagnney Fabiano (12-2)
9. Manny Gamburyan (10-4)
10. Michihiro Omigawa (8-8-1)

Bantamweight Rankings (126 to 135 lbs.)
1. Brian Bowles (8-0)
2. Miguel Torres (37-2)
3. Takeya Mizugaki (12-3-2)
4. Masakatsu Ueda (10-0-2)
5. Dominick Cruz (14-1)
6. Akitoshi Tamura (14-7-2)
7. Joseph Benavidez (10-1)
8. Damacio Page (12-4)
9. Rani Yahya (15-4)
10. Manny Tapia (10-3-1)

The Independent World MMA Rankings are tabulated on a monthly basis in each of the top seven weight classes of MMA, from heavyweight to bantamweight, with fighters receiving ten points for a first-place vote, nine points for a second-place vote, and so on.

The rankings are based purely on the votes of the members of the voting panel, with nobody's vote counting more than anybody else's vote, and no computerized voting.

The voters are instructed to vote primarily based on fighters' actual accomplishments in the cage/ring (the quality of opposition that they've actually beaten), not based on a broad, subjective perception of which fighters would theoretically win fantasy match-ups.

Inactivity: Fighters who have not fought in the past 12 months are not eligible to be ranked, and will regain their eligibility the next time they fight.

Disciplinary Suspensions: Fighters who are currently serving disciplinary suspensions, or who have been denied a license for drug test or disciplinary reasons, are not eligible to be ranked.

Changing Weight Classes: When a fighter announces that he is leaving one weight class in order to fight in another weight class, the fighter is not eligible to be ranked in the new weight class until he has his first fight in the new weight class.

Catch Weight Fights: When fights are contested at weights that are in between the limits of the various weight classes, they are considered to be in the higher weight class. The weight limits for each weight class are listed at the top of the rankings for each weight class.

Special thanks to Eric Kamander, Zach Arnold, and Joshua Stein for their invaluable help with this project, and special thanks to Garrett Bailey for designing our logo.

Predictions for Strikeforce: "Evolution"

The last Strikeforce installment of the year is scheduled for Saturday on Showtime, and sadly it’s pretty Fedor-deficient.  However, there are some other big names on the card, like Asian Guy Not Fedor and Brazilian Guy Not Fedor, as well as American Guy Not Fedor.  So, predictions!

• Cung Le, the organization’s former middleweight champ (he gave up the belt because he was too busy making films to fight) is facing Scott Smith.  Smith is great in an iron-chin-knockout-puncher-bring-his-family-into-the-cage type of way, but I feel like Le is just going to act him to death.
• Josh Thomson may defeat Gilbert Melendez, but he will never defeat Gilbert Melendez’s hair.
• Matt Lindland can still fight?  After what Vitor Belfort did to him, it’s surprising he can still walk.
• I wonder if Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza has ever tried the Brazilian berry acai and explored its many health benefits?  Do you think he has?
• It’s great that Muhammed “King Mo” Lawal can find time out of his busy schedule of ruling his subjects and governing his kingdom, but all it takes is one loss to run afoul of Queen Mo. 

Legalized MMA in NY or Legalized MMA on Long Island: Which Will Come First?

Professional mixed martial arts would be legal in New York right now if not for the legislative issues that plagued the state during the past year, and the bill to make it all happen must start back at square one in the upcoming session, with some projecting MMA's legalization happening anywhere from April to the end of 2010. However, yesterday's ruling from the federal government that the Shinnecock Indians in Southampton are officially a tribe, and therefore not subject to any statewide ban on MMA, could mean events on Long Island within six months. Sure, this same issue arose back in 2006 when a federal court acknowledged the Shinnecock's newfound status, but there were still hurdles to them hosting shows - particularly, their own reluctance (more than anything, the tribe wants to open a casino). But with yesterday's milestone, plus the explosion of MMA events on Indian reservations upstate, they might feel differently about it now.