Because There's A Fistfight Going On Somewhere In New York Right Now, And You Should Know About It
Friday, September 10, 2010
Liveblog: UCC 3 Part 4
Kevin Horowitz reps Team Rhino, he's part killer, part beast.
I wish he'd fight more. He could be one of the best in the Northeast.
Horowitz is fighting a man named Ryan Quinn.
I know zilch about Ryan so I'm picking Kevin to win.
Quinn gets the takedown and starts beating Kevin's face.
There's blood on the canvas and all over the place.
Ryan is good, there's no questioning that.
He-Man's pet tiger was called "Battle Cat".
The bloodbath continues straight into Round 2.
The doc's seen enough, he says Kevin is through.
Quinn is a badass, of that there's no doubt.
Horowitz wasn't good enough, he was lacking in clout.
Don't get me wrong, Kevin's got monstrous skills.
But tonight Quinn gets the win bonus. He's paying his bills.
Jason McLean is up - he could wrestle you all day.
Felipe Arantes is a striker, he really likes Ben-Gay.
Arantes reps Gold Team. You know, those boys from Brazil
who now live in Newark on a mission to kill.
McLean goes Mortal Kombat and rips out Arantes' spine.
Ha! I'm just kidding! There's no move of that kind.
They strike and they grapple like squirrels on cheap crystal meth.
By the end of the round they're both out of breath.
In Round 2 Arantes' kicks start finding their range.
My neighbor's pet daschund once came down with mange.
Round 3 Arantes switches, starts nailing takedowns.
McLean is in trouble, will he call off the hounds?
No he won't, he'll keep swinging, aiming right for Arantes' head.
There's no quit in the American, he'll keep going 'til he's dead.
It goes to the judges after three hard-fought rounds.
And who are these judges? I assure you, they're not clowns.
There's Will Mason (son of Perry) and Dave Tirelli from TSMMA.
Plus the eccentric Doug Crosby (he loves Frankie Edgar, they say).
They tally the scorecards using brains keen and bright. Arantes gets the decision. Yes, they got that right.
I wish he'd fight more. He could be one of the best in the Northeast.
Horowitz is fighting a man named Ryan Quinn.
I know zilch about Ryan so I'm picking Kevin to win.
Quinn gets the takedown and starts beating Kevin's face.
There's blood on the canvas and all over the place.
Ryan is good, there's no questioning that.
He-Man's pet tiger was called "Battle Cat".
The bloodbath continues straight into Round 2.
The doc's seen enough, he says Kevin is through.
Quinn is a badass, of that there's no doubt.
Horowitz wasn't good enough, he was lacking in clout.
Don't get me wrong, Kevin's got monstrous skills.
But tonight Quinn gets the win bonus. He's paying his bills.
Jason McLean is up - he could wrestle you all day.
Felipe Arantes is a striker, he really likes Ben-Gay.
Arantes reps Gold Team. You know, those boys from Brazil
who now live in Newark on a mission to kill.
McLean goes Mortal Kombat and rips out Arantes' spine.
Ha! I'm just kidding! There's no move of that kind.
They strike and they grapple like squirrels on cheap crystal meth.
By the end of the round they're both out of breath.
In Round 2 Arantes' kicks start finding their range.
My neighbor's pet daschund once came down with mange.
Round 3 Arantes switches, starts nailing takedowns.
McLean is in trouble, will he call off the hounds?
No he won't, he'll keep swinging, aiming right for Arantes' head.
There's no quit in the American, he'll keep going 'til he's dead.
It goes to the judges after three hard-fought rounds.
And who are these judges? I assure you, they're not clowns.
There's Will Mason (son of Perry) and Dave Tirelli from TSMMA.
Plus the eccentric Doug Crosby (he loves Frankie Edgar, they say).
They tally the scorecards using brains keen and bright. Arantes gets the decision. Yes, they got that right.
Liveblog: UCC 3 Part 3
Daniel Akinyemi is up, a vet of the Iron Ring.
His day job is paramedic, but in a fight he is king.
He can kick, he can punch, he's a beast on the mat.
We'll see if Rich Bianchi has trouble with that.
Bianchi goes down ugly. Good Lord, is he dead?
I can't see from this angle (plus there's a glare from ref Big Dan Miragliotta's bald head).
Oh yeah, it's over. Bianchi's bloody on the floor.
Akinyemi via TKO - and he looks ready for more.
Akinyemi is tough, and that ain't no jive.
He's a bad motherfucker at 185.
In the cage is Cliff Wattenberg, Dan Sensintaffar's his foe,
two welterweight newcomers whose skills I don't know.
The battle soon rages, first forth and then back.
If these two get tired, I will cut them some slack.
They're going at it hard like two warriors should.
I mean, it's not like they're scrubs. They're actually quite good.
Round 2 and Sensitaffar gets quickly taken down.
Wattenberg's game plan is to pound and then pound.
But Sensitaffar ain't playing, and on the feet he lands a hook.
Wattenberg is cut and bleeding, the docs need just one look.
It's over, a stoppage, Sensintaffar's the man.
Back to drawing board for Wattenberg, he needs a new plan.
His day job is paramedic, but in a fight he is king.
He can kick, he can punch, he's a beast on the mat.
We'll see if Rich Bianchi has trouble with that.
Bianchi goes down ugly. Good Lord, is he dead?
I can't see from this angle (plus there's a glare from ref Big Dan Miragliotta's bald head).
Oh yeah, it's over. Bianchi's bloody on the floor.
Akinyemi via TKO - and he looks ready for more.
Akinyemi is tough, and that ain't no jive.
He's a bad motherfucker at 185.
In the cage is Cliff Wattenberg, Dan Sensintaffar's his foe,
two welterweight newcomers whose skills I don't know.
The battle soon rages, first forth and then back.
If these two get tired, I will cut them some slack.
They're going at it hard like two warriors should.
I mean, it's not like they're scrubs. They're actually quite good.
Round 2 and Sensitaffar gets quickly taken down.
Wattenberg's game plan is to pound and then pound.
But Sensitaffar ain't playing, and on the feet he lands a hook.
Wattenberg is cut and bleeding, the docs need just one look.
It's over, a stoppage, Sensintaffar's the man.
Back to drawing board for Wattenberg, he needs a new plan.
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