Kevin Horowitz reps Team Rhino, he's part killer, part beast.
I wish he'd fight more. He could be one of the best in the Northeast.
Horowitz is fighting a man named Ryan Quinn.
I know zilch about Ryan so I'm picking Kevin to win.
Quinn gets the takedown and starts beating Kevin's face.
There's blood on the canvas and all over the place.
Ryan is good, there's no questioning that.
He-Man's pet tiger was called "Battle Cat".
The bloodbath continues straight into Round 2.
The doc's seen enough, he says Kevin is through.
Quinn is a badass, of that there's no doubt.
Horowitz wasn't good enough, he was lacking in clout.
Don't get me wrong, Kevin's got monstrous skills.
But tonight Quinn gets the win bonus. He's paying his bills.
Jason McLean is up - he could wrestle you all day.
Felipe Arantes is a striker, he really likes Ben-Gay.
Arantes reps Gold Team. You know, those boys from Brazil
who now live in Newark on a mission to kill.
McLean goes Mortal Kombat and rips out Arantes' spine.
Ha! I'm just kidding! There's no move of that kind.
They strike and they grapple like squirrels on cheap crystal meth.
By the end of the round they're both out of breath.
In Round 2 Arantes' kicks start finding their range.
My neighbor's pet daschund once came down with mange.
Round 3 Arantes switches, starts nailing takedowns.
McLean is in trouble, will he call off the hounds?
No he won't, he'll keep swinging, aiming right for Arantes' head.
There's no quit in the American, he'll keep going 'til he's dead.
It goes to the judges after three hard-fought rounds.
And who are these judges? I assure you, they're not clowns.
There's Will Mason (son of Perry) and Dave Tirelli from TSMMA.
Plus the eccentric Doug Crosby (he loves Frankie Edgar, they say).
They tally the scorecards using brains keen and bright. Arantes gets the decision. Yes, they got that right.