Friday, April 8, 2011
Liveblog: ROC 35 Part 3
Main card time, and first at bat is Bellmore Kickboxing's Tom English vs. Rhino Fight Team's Mike Prokop (who will herein be referred to as "Porkchop", as that what his fans call him. Why? Because when he bleeds, he bleeds applesauce.) Round 1 sees English get the takedown and get stifled in Porkchop's guard, while Porkchop returns the favor with a pair of takedowns and some top game of his own. Porkchop makes the most of the final round, though, working hard to get his foe down and nearly nailing the rear naked choke when time expires. He takes the unanimous decision. Mike LaDuke of Empire Martial Arts - total old schooler who used compete at Brian Cimins' Sportfighting back in the day - returns to face a very promising up-and-comer in Gracie Denville's Claudio Ledesma. Round 1 is so back-and-forth, the judge sitting next to me has tears in his eyes. Thankfully, Ledesma makes it easier in the second round, finding his groove with repeated takedowns and a rear naked choke of doom at 3:17. Admittedly, this was a tough comeback fight for LaDuke, so props to both men.
Liveblog: ROC 35 Part 2
First bout of the evening and it's Anthony Facchini of Team Oliveira against Bellmore Kickboxing's Mike Benoit. After a brief hugging period against the cage, the Bellmore Kickboxing rep starts flexing his wrestling muscle with some double-leg love and a knuckle shower. But when Benoit goes for his second takedown he leaves his neck exposed - a fatal mistake that Facchini seizes upon. That tapout via guillotine comes at 3:04 of Round 1. Next up is Brian Smiley of Wreck Room and Donnie DeFilippis of BJJ Shore Academy. DeFilippis has apparently been studying his "Gracie in Action" tapes, as he does a textbook takedown-to-side control-to-back control-to-rear naked choke. Smiley taps at 1:52 of Round 1.
Liveblog: ROC 35 Part 1
MMA Journalist is here at the Tropicana in Atlantic City for Ring of Combat's 35th installment, which promises to provide 11 essential vitamins and minerals and enough wholesome goodness to kill a yak. UFC vet Chris Liguori is slated to clash with M-1 vet Mikhail Malyutin, Tom DeBlass is set to crush UFC vet Sean Salmon, and Uriah Hall returns to face Aung La Nsang. It should be a solid night of fights, and fun for the entire family - even your dog and goldfish.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Requiem for a Master
Last week jiu-jitsu master Ricardo Almeida announced his retirement from MMA competition. The decision, according to Almeida, was final, and if true, it caps off a pretty long and successful eleven-year career of kicking, punching and choking people out. But regardless of his accomplishments in the ring and cage - and as a King of Pancrase and UFC veteran, those accomplishments were many - it should be noted that Almeida's most-lasting legacy exists outside the realm of wins and losses. Simply put, the Renzo Gracie-trained black belt is considered one of the best instructors and coaches around. Like, the best of the best. Want evidence? Just look at his students, who are legion and include among their ranks UFC champ Frankie Edgar, ROC star Chris Liguori, up-and-comer Tom DeBlass, and other top-notch fighters too numerous to mention. In fact, when Renzo himself has a fight to prepare for, he goes to New Jersey and seeks out Almeida, who he knows he can count on to prepare and sharpen him. Can you think of anything more flattering than that? Bow your head and pour a little of your 40oz out for Almeida's MMA career, but weep not for the man himself. His best work has always been in imparting knowledge, and thankfully, he will continue on doing what he truly does best.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Mitch the Intern's TUF 13 Recap: Episode 1
*Editor's note: Mitch the Intern is an NYU undergrad whose favorite Wednesday night pastime includes the TV in his dorm room, a green beanbag chair and two hits of acid. Enjoy.*
Are you ready for some thrilling, edge-of-your-seat action? Are you primed for some raucous and rowdy mixed martial arts? Well, hold onto your TapOut beanies and prepare to be disappointed, 'cause it's time for the thirteenth season of "The Ultimate Fighter" - the only place where men can sweat, jizz on each other's food and fight and it not be prison!
The season features a fresh crop of welterweights, and as they arrive - wide-eyed and excited - El Presidente Dana White greets them with the news that there will be no fight to get into the house, there will still be a wildcard, their coaches are Brock Lesnar and Junior dos Santos, and there will be even more artificial drama injected into the show than ever before. Why? Because everything that could be done on the show - every permutation of combat and interpersonal relations, every scenario of conflict and human interaction - has already been done a million times over. "So don't be surprised when we set the TUF House on fire while you're all sleeping," warns White. "Or if we murder one of you and force the survivors to solve the mystery."
And with that, the two coaches enter. The Brockster, we learn, is all about cardio (ha!), so in evaluating his potential team members, he has them strut their cardiovascular stuff. "You are all going to eat either chicken salad or chicken shit for lunch," he exclaims. "Does anyone have any preferences or dietary restrictions in regards to which?" The massive wrestler then takes their lunch orders. Dos Santos, however, takes the time to address the camera and admit that his command of the English language may not be the best. Dude, you're about as comprehensible as Michael Bisping, who is British, and your words are a thousand times more understandable than the gibberish that issued forth from Canadian Georges St. Pierre's mouth. Don't sweat it.
We get a brief glimpse at the individual fighters, and the camera focuses on a few. There's Shalamar, the 1980s R&B group; there's Miles Running, who hurts his knee by simply walking through the door to the TUF Center; there's… someone else; and there's… someone else. As for assistant coaches, Brock-oli has a frighteningly overweight Erik Paulson, while the Brazilian has Gruff English-Speaking Wrestler.
When the coaches have seen enough, White beckons for the two to join him in his Den of Sin.
"Okay, guys," he says, "we're going to flip a coin and choose teams now, so try to make this as contentious as possible. Brock, we're paying you by the ratings point, so you know what you have to do."
The ex-champ nods, and in typical go-his-own-way fashion, acts like a saint. A kind, friendly saint who doesn't actually care who's on what team.
Afterwards, when White has finished weeping at the ratings turd he knows this season will be, the UFC boss steps out to confront the troops. There is zero fanfare as White calls out the names from a clipboard and tosses the fighters their appropriate Team Lesnar and Team dos Santos t-shirts. (It's at this point where you have to wonder if the fighters themselves are starting to feel like they're getting the discount-version of the TUF experience.)
Then, bad news strikes. Dr. Doom shows up, and after having examined Miles Running's MRI, has this to say: "Your ACL is torn. Also, your hamstring. Also, your MCL. Also, your PCL. Also, your meniscus. Also, all the muscles in your thigh. Basically, we're going to have to amputate and replace your limb with a pogo stick."
Miles Running stares in the face of this adversity and proclaims that it doesn't matter, he can still compete. Brockadockadoo nods. White, though, shakes his head. Says, "nuh-uh. You're done." Signals for the Anonymous Alternate to take Miles Running's place.
But then it's time to pick the first fight, and as Mr. Minnesota got to pick the first fighter, the big, goofy Brazilian gets to choose the first fight. His choice: Shalamar, the 1980s R&B group (his first pick) against the German Kid, (Lesnar's last pick).
What we learn of the two fighters includes the German Kid's Muslim-ness, and we get to watch him pray towards Mecca, and Shalamar's Christian-ness, and we get to watch him reading a Bible. Plus, the German Kid's a striker and Shalamar's a wrestler - and after watching them fight, it's clear that's all they know.
The fight goes as you'd expect if you've ever watched a UFC, like, ever. Shalamar takes the German Kid down repeatedly and holds him there, waiting for the referee to call out the points and pins and perplexed when, after two rounds, those calls never come. Still, Shalamar takes the decision.
White, meanwhile, looks at the camera and shakes his head. "Okay, that fight sucked. But man, when the bantamweights and featherweights compete next season, it's going to be awesome." And while he's saying this, Brockilicious and dos Santos can be seen in background, plugged into each other's iPods and comparing music tastes. "Really," says White, "next season's going to be so awesome."
The end.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
It's True: Boxing Fans Hate MMA
Last night MMA Journalist trekked on down to Barnes & Noble in Tribeca for a book signing. The book was "At the Fights", which is an anthology of boxing stories edited by old school scribe George Kimball. As the only other boxing-themed event I've been to was a Golden Gloves installment in the heart of the Bronx, the experience was… illuminating. First of all, it ended up being a six-person panel of writers, talking briefly about themselves before taking questions from the audience. It was also packed, as about 70 ardent boxing fans showed up - some of them knowledgeable, eager and excited, some of them clearly insane. And maybe - maybe - a handful were under 45 years old. That said, when it came time for Q & A, someone asked why, in the assembled writers' opinion, had boxing declined. Author Pete Hamill blamed the sport's predicament on a few things, and of course, MMA came up. "Ultimate fighting is preposterous," he said, and everyone laughed and agreed. "I've seen better fights at weddings." So there you have it. Boxing fans are old, cognizant that their sport is in trouble, and they hate mixed martial arts.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Thaigo Silva's UFC 125 Urine Sample Positive for Wampa DNA, Says Nevada Commission
This just in from the Department of Yuck: Thiago Silva's urine sample, taken immediately after his UFC 125 bout against Brandon Vera, has been determined to be of a "non-human source", according to the Nevada State Athletic Commission. Said Chief Urination Supervisor Keith Kizer, "A post-fight analysis of Mr. Silva's urine sample was deemed inconsistent with human urine. In fact, our laboratory technicians have determined that the DNA in the urine matches that of a Wampa, a large, carniverous creature indigenous to the Hoth system. Which is amazing, actually, since Wampas aren't real." It is anticipated that the NSAC will overturn the win Silva secured over Vera at UFC 125, changing it to a "no contest". Furthers sanctions against the Brazilian are also expected.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Upcoming Northeast Bouts to Watch Out For
With installments of Ring of Combat, Cage Fury Fighting Championship and the Urban Conflict Championship looming, there’s so much ass-kickery impending that it’s almost impossible to sleep at night. In fact, I no longer sleep. I just sit on the couch in my den and ruminate – sometimes with the lights off, sometimes with them on. Anyway, MMA Journalist has of course compiled a list of bouts to watch out for. Thank me later.
- Chris Liguori vs. Mikhail Malyutin, ROC 35 – On April 8, one of the area’s longtime best lightweights in Liguori takes on what could very well be his foreign counterpart. Malyutin has fought about a million times in M-1 against dudes whose names are impossible to pronounce, but he’s got skills, as evidenced by his ROC 31 win against Luiz Azeredo. Fast and frenetic – that’s what this pairing promises.
- Tom DeBlass vs. Sean Salmon, ROC 35 – DeBlass is a Ricardo Almeida-trained light-heavyweight on the rise, and he sports ever-improving boxing. Salmon is a UFC vet who’s really good at getting knocked out in exciting fashion. We’re talking “eyes rolled up in his head-stiff as a board-dropping like a felled tree” here. That, coupled with his wrestling, means DeBlass is either going to KO him or jiu-jitsu him to death.
- Uriah Hall vs. Aung La Nsang, ROC 35 – Hall’s coming off a loss against Costa Phillippou, but he’s still an ace striker with solid ground-and-pound skills. La Nsang is a Muay Thai guy with good submissions. This match-up is either going to end suddenly or violently, or it’s going to go the distance (and still be pretty violent).
- Daniel Akinyemi vs. Mike Andrillo, ROC 35 – Bellmore Kickboxing rep Andrillo’s got a strong guillotine and, like his teammates, is very capable of banging. Akinyemi, meanwhile, bangs so hard, his opponents usually end up fetal against the cage. You see where I’m going with this, right?
- Andre Gusmao vs. Tim Williams, CFFC 7 – April 16 is when we get another installment of CFFC, and the main event features UFC vet Gusmao taking on a very promising grappler in Williams. Does Gusmao still have the striking power to put away people like he used to? Or will Williams get him down and molest him?
- Lester Caslow vs. Eddie Fyvie, CFFC 7 – These two are so well-rounded and evenly matched, they could be sharing DNA. Er, no homo.
- Nah-Shon Burrell vs. Noah Faunce, CFFC 7 – Burrell absolutely slew his opponent at the last CFFC. Faunce, however, hits hard and can wrestle when he needs to. Will he need to? Or will this be another Burrell-inspired bloodbath?
- Andy Main vs. Felipe Arantes, UCC 4 – April 22 will bring us the fourth installment of the UCC, and the marquee bout – between TUF vet Main and a very deadly Brazilian named Arantes – should be one heck of a barnburner. Main’s got KO power in his hands and has jiu-jitsu for days, while Arantes’s got sick Muay Thai and has so much jiu-jitsu he craps whole gis. This will definitely be a good one.
- Sean Santella vs. Sedico Honorio, UCC 4 – Santella is among the best “little” fighters the Northeast has to offer, and brings to the table some serious wrestling mixed with submission grappling. The first words out of Honorio’s mouth when he was a child were “mata leon” and “you just try to pass my guard, mom. I dare you.” Enough said.
- James Jenkins vs. Jay McLean, UCC 4 – McLean’s proven himself to be durable as all hell, and his wrestling tends to give fighters fits. Jenkins is a well-rounded dude on the rise, so this should be a nice test for him.
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