The Truth Comes Out: Mark Cuban is the Other Woman

Mark Cuban's HDNet Fights filed suit against Zuffa in a Texas court this week, a move that reveals Cuban as the "other woman" in the bitter divorce between Zuffa and Randy Couture. Okay, not really. There's no evidence to suggest HDNet Fights has tried to bed Couture while the legendary champ is under contractual lockdown with his UFC masters. But the suit, which asks the court to render a declaratory judgment on the merits of the promotional contract between Zuffa and Couture (the suit Zuffa filed against Couture only focuses on the employment contract and avoids the promotional contract issue), is a pretty good indicator of where Cuban is coming from and what he's trying to do. How so? Well, clue number one is Cuban's standing for the lawsuit (i.e., his right to sue), while clue number two comes from his comments in interviews regarding the Muhammad Ali Boxing Reform Act and whether its protections for boxers should apply to mixed martial artists. Cuban is a promoter who wants fighters, and he wants to test the chains binding some of the sport's top talent. MMA Journalist would have to read a copy of the Cuban's complaint to give a more detailed assessment, but from a distance, this is one is a no-brainer: Cuban wants to reshape the UFC-dominated market, and he's not afraid to use the courts to do it.

Kimbo/Tank Duel Set for Dawn on Saturday; Pistols Optional

Gentlemens Kimbo Slice and David "Tank" Abbott have finally agreed upon their terms and are now set to duel at dawn this coming Saturday, with pistols at 20 paces a possibility but fisticuffs the most likely method. The duel is a result of Mister Tank's confronting of Mister Slice following Mister Slice's victory at CFFC 5 last year. At that time, Mister Tank removed his gloves and threw them down, demanding satisfaction from some perceived offense, though it is unclear just what that offense was. It is expected that Mister Slice will be seconded by Sir Bas Rutten. The field of honor will be the Bank United Center in Miami, Florida, though curious bystanders may tune in to the broadcast on Showtime's EliteXC programme.

Observations from My Couch: WEC 32

-Former UFC Heavyweight Champ Frank Mir is a knowledgeable and articulate commentator and an asset to the production. However, when he interviews these bantamweights who are a fraction of his size, I often wonder how many of them he would have to eat before feeling full. -Miguel Torres wrecked Chase Beebe with such technical prowess, for minute there I thought I was watching a jiu-jitsu instructional. -Jamie Varner kicked some serious ass in an exciting bout, and the newly-crowned WEC Lightweight Champ is now the number-one 155-pounder not good enough to fight in the UFC. -Carlos Condit successfully defended his welterweight title against Carlo Prater. Meh.

Did Dana White Sell the UFC's Soul for 250,000 Pieces of Silver?

At UFC 81, Brock Lesnar was paid $250,000 just to show up for a bout lasting only a minute and a half, and when former champ Frank Mir submitted the pro wrestler with a kneebar, it marked the end of weeks of hype and anticipation - and the perhaps the end of an era. For while fight fans and fake-fight fans likely tuned in in droves, the "Superbowl of Mixed Martial Arts" was suddenly about a co-main event featuring a man who was 1-0 when he set foot in the Octagon. Yes, Lesnar's record consisted of but one fight. Did Dana White sell the UFC's soul for pay-per-view buys? And if so, was it worth it? When the Mir/Lesnar bout was announced, I thought about January 10th, 2002 - the night before UFC 35 - and the Zuffa-hosted press dinner. I had the filet mignon, Joe Silva had a cheeseburger, Lorenzo Fertita had a martini, and Dana White promised those of us in attendance (Josh Gross, Jeff Sherwood, Kirik Jenness, et al.) that the UFC absolutely did not want to court pro wrestlers as potential fighters. Something about credibility and wrong demographics and "We'd rather have pro boxers - what's Shannon Briggs up to?" My how times have changed.

Charges Pending in Boetsch/Heath Assault

Fans watching UFC 81 on Saturday night got more than they bargained for when the preliminary bout between Tim Boetsch and David Heath was aired. In the bout - which was Boetsch's Octagon debut - the newcomer battered his opponent repeatedly and threw him head-first against the cage, then continued the beating until the referee called a halt to the fight. Adding insult to injury, the former Lock Haven wrestler subsequently rifled through the fallen Heath's pockets, taking credit cards and an undisclosed amount of cash. It was nothing short of a mugging, and according to sources within the Clark County district attorney's office, criminal charges are now pending. "We are reviewing the tape," said a spokesman for the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department. "If Mr. Boetsch did in fact commit a crime, he will be brought to justice." Said UFC President Dana White, who was no doubt pleased with Boetsch's action-packed performance: "Do you want to be a fucking mugger?"

"Big Dog" Ready to Take a Bite Out of Opponent at UFC 81 (Plus Other Lame Metaphors)

Ricardo Almeida, a.k.a. "Big Dog", returns to the dog house known as the Octagon at UFC 81, where he'll take a bite out of last-minute replacement Rob Yundt. When news broke that original opponent Alan Belcher had left the yard with his tail between his legs, the word around the kennel was that Almeida would have no one to play with - until Zuffa announced Yundt as the new chew toy. Has the Big Dog learned any new tricks since his last MMA outing nearly four years ago? Will Yundt be able to resist the urge to roll over and play dead? Or is he nothing but a hound dog? We'll know on Saturday!

Who the Heck Are Zach Makovsky, Wilson Reis and Charlie Brenneman?

Tonight's ShoXC event in Atlantic City may have some star power attached to it thanks to Eddie Alvarez, Paul Daley and Sammy Morgan, but there's no doubt some of the names on the undercard will leave fans scratching their heads. Who the heck are Zach Makovsky, Wilson Reis and Charlie Brenneman? Who on earth is James Jones? What has Matt Makowski done to deserve a fight on one of ProElite's shows? Folks, MMA Journalist goes to almost every MMA event in New Jersey and takes copious notes just to be able to answer these questions! -Zach Makovsky: A Combat in the Cage champ with rock-solid wrestling mixed with Muay Thai, this Fight Factory representative has wins over two BJJ black belts. How did he do it? With nonstop aggression. -Wilson Reis: Reis is a BJJ black belt with a nearly flawless top-game. The big question mark here, though, is if he'll be able to put Makovsky on his back. -Charlie Brenneman: A Ring of Combat champ with unstoppable takedowns and relentless ground-and-pound. That's all you really need to know. -James "Binky" Jones: Another Ring of Combat champ, Binky's all about submitting opponents from the guard. Obviously, he's pretty good at it. -Mark Getto: Getto's a former Extreme Challenge Northeast champ, and he sports wrestling mixed with submissions. His 3-1 record is pretty deceptive, as he's fought some of the toughest fighters in the Garden State (for example, his first MMA bout was against Frankie Edgar). -Sergio Vignare: A Ricardo Almeida-trained grappler, Vignare isn't afraid to throw some leather when the fists start flying (hence his knockout win over Brett Linebarger and his knockout loss to Greg Soto). -Drew Puzon: Another Ricardo Almeida-trained grappler, Puzon's got some skills on the ground. However, his weak spot seems to be strong wrestlers. Um, uh-oh. -Matt Makowski: Look up "Matt Makowski" in the dictionary and you'll see "razor-sharp Muay Thai" listed as the definition. Which shouldn't be enough to win MMA fights, but Makowski had little trouble defeating a Renzo Gracie-trained black belt with it.

Madeleine Cloud Genia Ready for MMA Debut

Following a rigorous nine-month training cycle, up-and-coming scrapper Madeleine Cloud Genia announced to the world that she's ready for her MMA debut on Tuesday. Tipping the scales at seven pounds, the loud and forceful warrior was purportedly fielding offers to compete in the UFC and IFL's infant weight classes, but was also considering fighting on the Kimbo/Tank EliteXC undercard. Said coach Gabriella Genia: "Put that tape recorder down. Are you going to change her diaper or what?"

UFC to Allow Special Rules for Penn vs. Stevenson Bout

In an effort to make the bout more competitive, the UFC has decided to allow special rules for Saturday's UFC 80 lighweight championship contest between BJ Penn and Joe Stevenson, a Zuffa official announced yesterday. For the first frame of the five-rounder, Stevenson will be allowed to utilize a prehistoric weapon, i.e., a large stone or club. If the fight goes into the second round, Stevenson will be allowed to incorporate a medieval melee weapon of his choice, up to and including a longsword, battle axe or flail. In the unlikely event that the bout lasts into the third round or beyond, the TUF2 winner will then have the option of shooting Penn with either a taser or a low-caliber handgun. "We didn't want anyone dying," said the Zuffa official, who asked to remain anonymous. "I mean, otherwise, BJ would kill Stevenson. At least this way Stevenson has a chance."

MMA Grammar Lesson - Please Take Notes

As an editor and as a fan, I read a ton of MMA-related articles. A ton. And when I'm not weighing all that paper on a gigantic scale (did you know 2,000 pounds of paper fills up an entire room?), I'm picking out the same grammatical mistakes again and again. So listen up, all you budding sports writers and aspiring journalists tackling mixed martial arts for the first time, 'cause I'm only going over this once: 1. The name of our sport is "mixed martial arts". Note how it's not hyphenated or capitalized. Writing "Mixed-Martial-Arts" is incorrect; if you insist on doing that, please go back to watching naked bullriding on ESPN8. 2. The "rear naked choke" finishing hold is not hyphenated. Hyphenating it is a sure sign you belong in the realm of knitting and crocheting. 3. Writing "guillotine choke" is redundant. Just "guillotine" is fine. No one is going to assume fighter A chopped off fighter B's head with an old French execution apparatus. 4. "Armbar" is one word, as is "leglock" and "anklelock". Writing otherwise means you suck. Hard. 5. Plain old "jiu-jitsu" doesn't need to be capitalized. However, "Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu" deserves its capital letters because it's a proper noun - and you learned about proper nouns in grade school. I hope. 6. You don't capitalize "heavyweight" or "champion", unless it's a proper noun (like "UFC Heavyweight Champ" or "Reality Fighting Heavyweight Champ"). By all means, please use capitals in those instances. This same rule applies with the other weight classes, too. 7. Please hyphenate "light-heavyweight". And if you argue that the UFC doesn't hyphenate the word when they do their on-screen graphics, I will kick you in the groin for assuming the UFC's on-screen graphics would trump Strunk & White's Elements of Style. 8. Please capitalize "Octagon". It's a proper noun. Zuffa went to great lengths to trademark it - and they would sue your ass into oblivion if you used an eight-sided cage. So please, do it for them.