Five Reasons Why Phillipe Nover Will Beat Efrain Escudero

TUF 8 finalists Phillipe Nover and Efrain Escudero will duke it out tomorrow night at the TUF finale on SpikeTV, which will determine who is this season's Ultimate Fighter and who will be relegated to mowing Dana White's lawn on the weekends for extra cash. In light of White and coach Nogueira's high praise, which was lavished on the Brooklyn native once he started clobbering foes in the Octagon like the Fantastic Four's "Thing" clobbers run-of-the-mill bank robbers, does the undefeated Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt Escudero stand a chance? Um, unless Nover slips on a banana peel on his way to the cage, the answer is "no". Here are five reason why Nover will win:

1. Not only was Nover recently awarded his jiu-jitsu black belt by Alexandre "Soca" Freitas, but he was issued a license to kill by Her Majesty's Secret Service and was made an honorary Power Ranger.
2. According to the prophecy, "No man born of Earth can harm the one they call Phillipe Nover".
3. The movie "Cloverfield" was inspired by the night Nover went out in Manhattan, had a little too much to drink and toppled three office buildings.
4. Nover got over his allergy to Kryptonite a long time ago. Now it just tastes bitter.
5. Nover has superpowers. Escudero does not.