Observations from My Couch: UFN 17

• Anthony Johnson's kung fu is powerful, but like "The Toad" from the Shaw Brothers classic "The Five Deadly Venoms", his weak spot will always be his eyes. Poke out his eyes and you will defeat him!
• Like "The Scorpion", Josh Neer can utilize his strikes to sting and stun, and can use his submission techniques to trap an opponent like a scorpion holds its prey with its pincers - as TUF 6 winner Mac Danzig learned on Saturday night.
• With his hands emulating "venomous fangs" and his legs like the "stinging whip of a rattling tail", Dan Miller is the embodiment of "The Snake". Jake Rosholt's kung fu was no match him!
• Cain Velasquez sucked.
• Joe "The Centipede" Lauzon attacked Jeremy Stephens so quickly and vigorously, it was as if the Massachusetts native had a hundred arms and legs. Stephens didn't stand a chance.
• Poison Clan rocks the world!