Friday, May 7, 2010

Predictions for UFC 113: "Canadian Kumite"

Light-heavyweight champ Lyoto Machida re-matching with Mauricio “Shogun” Rua.  A Brit striker who can’t grapple and a grappler with no chin.  Rampant moose.  Kimbo.  Maple syrup by the gallon.  If you looked at these clues and came up with UFC 113, then congratulations, you are both correct and annoying.  Please go away.  Predictions!

    • Patrick Cote is still around?  I thought he left fighting to become a lumberjack in the Yukon or something.  Well, good for him for getting back in there with someone like Alan Belcher, who will dodge his one money-punch and kick him repeatedly to earn the uninspiring decision.
    • Dana White to Joe Silva: “Hey, we need to milk this Kimbo thing a little more.”  “Okay.  How about pairing him up against a total throwaway fighter whose only recognition comes from being unlikeable on a TV show?”  “Awesome.”  Kimbo via beard scruff.
    • If the Sam Stout that fought Joe Lauzon shows up, he’s going to crush Jeremy Stephens.  Otherwise, he’s just going to edge him out by points.
    • I like both Paul Daley and Josh Koscheck as fighters and find them both entertaining, but if the whole Mike Swick/Dan Hardy thing taught us anything, it’s that OH MY GOD GEORGES ST. PIERRE JUST KILLED HIM!
    • If Machida represents karate and Shogun represents Muay Thai, then this rematch represents me going to bed and watching their second inconclusive five-round fight on DVR in the morning.  Mostly on fast-forward.

1 comment:

garth2 said...

I agree with everything except Kimbo winning. I don't see how. Mitirione is terrible, but slightly less terrible than Kimbo, and if he somehow developed a tiny bit of cardio along the way he'll dominate Kimbo. And hopefully we will never have to watch either of them again inside the Octagon.