Observations From My Couch: WEC 42

• Leonard Garcia was choked so hard by Jameel Massouh, the former drug mule puked up two cocaine-filled balloons (which had to be cleaned up by the WEC ring janitor in between rounds). The dude's a badass for surviving and pulling out the win after that.
• Jeff Curran just cannot catch a break. Is there no room in this sport for our storied veterans and pioneers?
• The best thing about two wrestlers engaging in a striking contest is that, when one gets hit like Ricardo Lamas did, they get messed up big time.
• Joseph Benavidez got handled. Plain and simple.
• Brian Bowles knocked out Miguel Torres? No! Mullet power never die!

More On This Strange WEC Rumor

So there apparently really is a secret WEC event going on this Sunday night, some sort of stealth/ninja/under the radar affair involving bantamweight champ Miguel Torres, Jeff Curran and Leonard Garcia. As this WEC 42 event has nothing to do with Strikeforce, Fedor or the UFC's Philly event, it's gone largely unnoticed. But MMA Journalist is on the case! Here are some predictions:

• In the title fight between 135-pound mullet master (yes, his mullet weighs 135 pounds) Torres and challenger Brian Bowles, Bowles is going to get creamed and then fade back into tiny-fighter obscurity. Ultimately, he may return to his old job as a part-time lawn jockey.
• Jeff "Big Frog" Curran and Takeya Mizugaki are set to do battle, and regardless of the outcome, the Japanese warrior is destined to emerge from the bout with warts. Because, you know, the whole frog thing.
• Joseph Benavidez vs. Dominick Cruz - the Spanish guy will win.
• Ricardo Lamas against Danny Castillo... seriously, where does the WEC find these people and why the hell are they on the main card? Shouldn't the recognizable names - like Javier Vasquez, Rani Yahya and Garcia - get TV time? This bout has DVR fast-forward written all over it.

Observations from My Couch: WEC 37

• Joseph Benavidez and Danny Martinez did not impress. But I guess that's why we have a fast-forward button on our DVR, right?
• You have to have a real solid grasp of jiu-jitsu and submission grappling to have appreciated Wagnney Fabiano's chess match with Akitoshi Tamura - which is a shame, because it was a great fight to watch in that regard.
• Based on his performance, there's no question Fabiano is going to give Mike Brown, Urijah Faber and Leonard Garcia a tough time.
• Did Brian Bowles earn a title shot against Miguel Torres with his defeat of Will Ribeiro? I hope not. Bowles showed he's got nothing Torres need worry about.
• Not only did Torres beat Manny Tapia convincingly, but he beat Tapia convincingly at Tapia's own game. Now THAT'S what a champion is made of.

Things That Won't Happen at WEC 37

WEC 37: "Torres vs. Tapia" airs live on the "Versus" channel tonight, and the four-bout main card features eight fighters ranging in weight from 134 pounds to 146 pounds. Do you think those seven guys 145 pounds and under call the 146-pound fighter fat? Like, maybe when they're all at that restaurant inside the Las Vegas Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, and the 146 pounder orders a Caesar salad with grilled chicken, do you think they chant "Fatty-fatty, two-by-four, couldn't get through the bathroom door"? Ponder that. In the meantime, here's a list of things that won't happen at WEC 37:

• To honor their Hispanic heritage, Joseph Benavidez and Danny Martinez will not partake in a siesta between rounds.
• Alex Karalexis will not pause during his bout against Bart Palaszewksi to admire the Midwest fighter's collection of tattoos.
• Regardless of whether they win or lose, fans will still have no idea who Brian Bowles and Will Ribeiro are after their bout.
• Miguel Torres will prove once again that he is the best 135-pound fighter in the world, and whenever he's shown on camera at a Zuffa event, casual MMA fans around the globe will still not applaud.