Observations From My Couch: WEC 39

• "Are you having trouble sleeping? Are you tired of sleepless nights? Try new 'Rob McCullough and Marcus Hicks', a non-narcotic sleep-aid guaranteed to induce slumber. You'll be snoring within minutes. Note: do not drive or operate heavy machinery."
• Was Chris Mickle really the best the WEC could do? Really?
• What happened to the Bart Palaszewski who was a stud in the IFL? Where did he go? I don't recognize this guy in the cage now. I want the old Bartimus back.
• Damacio Page - powerful enough to knock you out, small enough for your child to keep with the rest of her dolls and stuffed animals.
• Leonard Garcia is a beast. Mike Brown is beaster. Or beastier. Or beastiest. Something like that.

WEC 39 Fun Facts

The "Little League World Championships of Mixed Martial Arts" (a.k.a., WEC 39) is Sunday night on the Versus channel, and the Corpus Christi, Texas event features featherweight champ Mike "Holy Cow I Beat Urijah Faber?!" Brown defending his belt against Leonard Garcia. Here are some fun facts MMA Journalist has compiled concerning the event:

• Garcia's success in the sport has led to a dramatic rise in his popularity within the drug mule community. There's even a dusty and trash-strewn path through the New Mexico desert named after him.
• Brown still can't believe he defeated Urijah Faber. To remind himself, he's had the side of his van painted with a colorful mural depicting the WEC 36 TKO win - although in the mural Brown is dressed as a wizard and Faber is a giant dragon wearing a nameplate that says "Urijah".
• Bart Palaszewski's last name is actually a shortened version of his family name. On his birth certificate, his last name is listed as "Palaszewskidgnsklnaseit93^%O)kd".
• Rob McCullough has never seen an adult video.
• Jose Aldo's striking is so feared, the trainer who holds his focus mitts must attend therapy three times a week.

Rich Crunkilton Injured Trying to Pronounce Bart Palaszewski's Name; Replaced by Ricardo Lamas

Florida-based fighter Rich Crunkilton, scheduled to face Bart Palaszewski at WEC 39, has injured himself trying to pronounce his opponent's name and is now unable to fight. His replacement will be Ricardo Lamas, grandson of B-List actor Lorenzo Lamas. "Igh urt mah tugh," said Crunkilton in a phone interview. "Dah doctahs tink ib bwoken." At this time it's unclear how long the veteran fighter will be out with this injury. Sunday night's WEC 39 will be headlined by a featherweight championship match-up between title holder Mike Brown and challenger (and former drug mule) Leonard Garcia, and the Corpus Christi, Texas event will be broadcast live on the "Versus" cable channel.

Things That Won't Happen at WEC 37

WEC 37: "Torres vs. Tapia" airs live on the "Versus" channel tonight, and the four-bout main card features eight fighters ranging in weight from 134 pounds to 146 pounds. Do you think those seven guys 145 pounds and under call the 146-pound fighter fat? Like, maybe when they're all at that restaurant inside the Las Vegas Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, and the 146 pounder orders a Caesar salad with grilled chicken, do you think they chant "Fatty-fatty, two-by-four, couldn't get through the bathroom door"? Ponder that. In the meantime, here's a list of things that won't happen at WEC 37:

• To honor their Hispanic heritage, Joseph Benavidez and Danny Martinez will not partake in a siesta between rounds.
• Alex Karalexis will not pause during his bout against Bart Palaszewksi to admire the Midwest fighter's collection of tattoos.
• Regardless of whether they win or lose, fans will still have no idea who Brian Bowles and Will Ribeiro are after their bout.
• Miguel Torres will prove once again that he is the best 135-pound fighter in the world, and whenever he's shown on camera at a Zuffa event, casual MMA fans around the globe will still not applaud.

Frenchman David Baron Prepared to Retreat, Surrender Against Jim Miller

UFC 89 is nearly upon us, and the Birmingham, England event features a bevy of moderately-talented US and international fighters mixed with scrubs - plus the occasional future star. One such future star is lightweight Jim Miller, a jiu-jitsu bad boy who went from dominating the New Jersey circuit to kicking Bart Palaszewski's ass in the IFL. His opponent for UFC 89: David Baron, a Frenchman with a judo background and a recent win over a past-his-prime Hayato Sakurai. Expect Baron to choke on a baguette, complain about America, and retreat and surrender at the earliest opportunity. UFC 89 will air for free on SpikeTV on Saturday night (on a tape delay), and the main event pits UK "Great White Hope" Michael Bisping against the hard-headed Chris Leben in a bout that promises a lot of crazed looks and unintelligible post-fight speeches.

Miller Brothers to Stake Their Claim on the UFC's Lightweight and Middleweight Divisions

Trainer/manager Mike Constantino of the AMA Fight Club in New Jersey announced today that Jim and Dan Miller have been signed by the UFC. With flawless wrestling and top-notch submission skills, Jim has cut a swath through the Northeast's lightweights. He's won a slew of championship belts, and has wins over the likes of Chris Liguori and Bart Palaszewski. Older brother Dan - also a grappling stud - has done much of the same in the 185-pound weightclass, with his kneebar win over Miletich-trained Ryan McGivern garnering him the IFL title. How good are these guys? At the news that they were graduating to the UFC, the Northeast's lightweights and middleweights breathed a collective sigh of relief. Believe it, baby.