Alvarez Out of "War at the Shore"; Who Could Be a Viable Replacement on Short Notice?

No one.

MMA Journalist's Best of 2008 Awards

The year 2008 is now on for the history books, so it's time for MMA Journalist's best of 2008 awards. Thanks to everyone who sent in email votes, and no, UFaberFangurl13, I won't leave my wife for you. Without further ado, the list:

• Best Organization to Die a Miserable Death - EliteXC, come on down! You are the next contestant on, "We Had So Much Potential and Squandered It!" Weee!
• Best Embarassment to the Sport - Little Jared Shaw. Ugh.
• Best Episode of Narcolepsy - Chuck Liddel's prolonged nap at the end of his UFC 88 bout against Rashad Evans. Has anyone seen an interview with him since? I think he's still sleeping.
• Best Abuser of Ripped Fuel and other Training Supplements - Paulo Filho. Dude, I like ephedra as much as the next guy, but there comes a time when you have to say, "No thanks. I think I'll just slam 20 Redbulls instead."
• Best Mythical Monster Debunked as Merely a Steroid User - Antonio "Bigfoot" Silva. Sorry man, but you're not real.
• Best Entourage That Will Threaten Your Opponent if You Lose - Kimbo Slice's peeps. Seth Petruzelli is still in hiding.
• Best Tattoo of a Dingling on a Fighter's Chest - Randy Couture. Haha, just kidding.

Scenes From a Visit to Vitor "Shaolin" Ribeiro's School in NYC

MMA Journalist paid a visit to Vitor "Shaolin" Ribeiro's school in Midtown Manhattan tonight (check out the upcoming issue of Full Contact Fighter for the resulting interview). "Who the heck is Shaolin?" Why, you lousy noob! Shaolin is a three-time Mundial BJJ champ who's been a dominant force amongst lightweights worldwide for years. Sadly, he fights only in Japan now, but that could all change in the future.

Prediction for Extreme Challenge's "War at the Shore": It Could Be Awesome... or It Could Suck

Extreme Challenge's "War at the Shore" event, slated for January 23rd at the Tropicana Casino & Resort in Atlantic City, is just a little more than two weeks away, and based on what we know of the card - and what we don't know - MMA Journalist is predicting that the event could be very awesome. Or it could suck. It's still unknown if headliner Eddie Alvarez will be able to compete (thanks to Shinya Aoki's heelhook last week in Japan), and while the card is full of local stars and attractions, like Wilson Reis, Charlie Brenneman, Tuan Pham, Jesus Martinez and Zack Makovsky, they're facing unknowns from distant locales such as Ohio and Texas. Which begs the question: how many people are going to buy tickets to see a local guy fight someone no one knows anything about? Last but not least is Tara LaRosa, who is supposed to be on the card, but is still facing the illustrious "TBD". MMA Journalist will be there to liveblog regardless, but I sincerely hope this event works out. Extreme Challenge is too solid a brand for the promotion to come back to New Jersey and have a stinker.

Gray Maynard to Attempt to Make Sweet, Slow and Methodical Man-Love to Jim Miller at UFC 96

According to http://thegarv.com , Gray Maynard will be facing Jim Miller at UFC 96 - a match-up that will no doubt see the Xtreme Couture lightweight use his lay-and-pray strategy to attempt to make sweet, slow and methodical man-love to the exciting Octagon star. Both men are coming off of wins, with Maynard dry-humping Rich Clementi for the decision at UFC 90 and Miller dominating Matt Wiman in a heart-pounding three-round war at UFC Fight Night: "Fight for the Troops". The one-dimensional Maynard should have a tough time against the well-rounded Miller at UFC 96, though, and fans should expect a big, fat loss on his record after the March 7th event.

Jorge "Macaco" Patino to Relive Brazil's Vale Tudo Glory Days in Newark, New Jersey

Jorge "Macaco" Patino, a grizzled veteran of many old-school Brazilian vale tudo battles, will be returning to action on February 7th at Essex County College in Newark, New Jersey, headlining an event called "The Return of Macaco". Patino, who's faced everyone from Pat Miletich in the UFC to Kazuo Misaki in Pride: Bushido, and who has competed in everything from Deep to Jungle Fight to Cage Rage, will square off against some dude with only a fraction of his experience named Brandon Olsen - and with luck, fans will be treated to a brutal and bloody battle culminating in a riot (think 1997's Pentagon Combat in Rio de Janeiro). Go to http://www.kapmma.com/ for more info.

Dean Lister Leaves UFC to Sell ShamWows

Abu Dhabi Combat Club grappling champ Dean Lister, who suffered only his second Octagon defeat in his bout against Yushin Okami at UFC 92, has been released by the organization to pursue a career in infomercials selling ShamWows (tm). It is believed the middleweight, who's beaten the likes of Jeremy Horn and Alessio Sakara in his long career, will be hawking a new line of highly-absorbant ShamWow rashguards and fightshorts, and that this move will prove to be a lucrative one for the San Diego native. "ShamWow washes, dries and polishes any surface," said Lister in a prepared statement. "It's like a towel, chamois and sponge all in one!"

What We Learned From Sengoku 7

Sengoku 7 - not quite Pride in its glory days, not quite an old Shooto event taking place in a gymnasium. Right on. So what did we learn?

• Dave Herman really needs to train for bouts longer than one round. Or at least run on a treadmill, ride a stationary bike or maybe swim to work or something. His cardio was suckeriffic.
• Antonio "Bigfoot" Silva prefers competing in Japan to being licensed to fight in the United States ever, ever again.
• Muhammed Lawal, a.k.a. "King Mo", gets more kingly and royal with each appearance. I predict his next ring entrance will entail him sitting upon a throne while two dozen tiny Japanese girls struggle to carry said throne from backstage to ringside.
• Jorge Santiago is one of the baddest middleweights around not good enough for the UFC.
• Takanori Gomi - phooey!

Update on Eddie Alvarez

I just received this text from Steve Haigh, Eddie Alvarez's trainer and cornerman, who was with the Philly superstar on New Year's Eve when Shinya Aoki defeated Alvarez via painful and potentially damaging heelhook. "He's walkin better and still a bit swollen but def needs an MRI done here. They only did an X-ray over there which we knew no bones were broken. That's Japan for ya." MMA Journalist wishes Alvarez a speedy recovery.

Josh Neer Tries to Outrun Boss Hogg, Fails

This just in from our correspondent in Hazzard County: UFC fighter Josh Neer tried to outrun Boss Hogg and Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane early Thursday in his modified 1969 Dodge Charger, but failed in his efforts, and is now under arrest and being held in the local jail. Neer, a well-known moonshiner around these parts, is slated to face TUF 7 winner Mac Danzig at UFC Fight Night 17 on February 7th. No word yet on if this arrest and detention will jeopardize that match-up. Said Flash, Sheriff Coltrane's Basset Hound, "Woof."