Weekend Schedule

MMA Journalist's Adam Butterworth will be on hand to cover the Ultimate Warrior Challenge's "Capital Punishment" at the Patriot Center in Fairfax, Virginia on Saturday night. There's also an Asylum Fight League in Sayreville, New Jersey on Saturday - if you're in the neighborhood, those are always worth checking out.

Mitch the Intern's TUF 9 Recap: Episode 4

*Editor's note: Mitch the Intern is an NYU undergrad whose favorite Wednesday night pastime includes the TV in his dorm room, a green beanbag chair and two hits of acid. Enjoy.*

In this week's episode, the very fabric of space and time is threatened, plus more Brits speak with accents so thick they don't even understand themselves.

Tanned, rested, well-coiffed and friendly like a soccer hooligan is friendly, Michael Bisping greets his wards and puts them through their paces in a hard training session. His coaches are introduced - someone named "Sucker" to teach grappling, some unassuming bald guy to teach striking - and his team of countrymen/aspiring UFCers sweat and grunt and then hug each other and drink tea from porcelain cups, their pinky fingers jutting out as they say "jolly good" and "know wha' ah' mean, gov'nor?"

Then the Queen of England (also known as "Dan" - still no explanation why) trains her Team America: World Police, and introduces her coaching staff, which includes someone to teach boxing, someone to teach kickboxing, someone to teach grappling, someone to teach conditioning, someone to teach hygiene, someone to teach manners, someone to teach calligraphy, someone to teach mathematics, and someone that is apparently the Queen's oldest friend and helped her build sandcastles when they were but wee children spending holidays at the seaside. The Queen asks her team who sucks and who doesn't. Mark Miller raises his hand, so he gets to fight first against someone named Nick Ostrich.

It's then that the universe and all within it are put in jeopardy. For some reason, Bisping and his coaches watch the second TUF episode of the season on TV - which in turn was watched by editors at SpikeTV before being watched by us. That's people watching a TUF episode watching a TUF episode watching a TUF episode. Somewhere on Earth Stephen Hawking grows uneasy, while in the parallel universe known as "UI-8669a-Beta", the Overlord's Royal Guard's stand ready at the Gate Between Worlds, their Energy Lances held aloft. Why you gotta play us like that, Michael Bisping?

Back at the TUF house there are pranks. Tame, non-gay pranks. A Brit's t-shirt is defaced. And back at the gym, a Brit's shoes are written on. In the control room, a producer with a headset watches the dailies and shakes his head. Says to a young production assistant: "Nope. Not gay enough." The production assistant nods. Says to the editor: "Cue up the 'Meat Missile' clip."

Mark Miller looks into the camera and declares himself a 'Meat Missile'. All targeted demographics are hit.

It's fight day, and Miller and Ostrich enter the cage. They kick and punch and roll around, and late in the second round Ostrich makes his British teammates proud by planting his shin upside the American's head. Miller drops to examine a spot on the canvas that has suddenly become very interesting to him.

Later, the Queen of England confronts Miller. "I thought you said you didn't suck?" she says.

"No, I was one of the ones who did suck," comes his reply.

Viginia Commission Considering Special Rules for Easton/Ferguson Bout

The Virginia Boxing and Wrestling Commission, bowing to pressure from local "right to life" activists, is considering allowing special rules for Saturday night's Mike Easton/Josh Ferguson bout - a headlining match-up that will see one of the Washington, DC-area's best mixed martial artists take on an up-and-comer from Kentucky at the Ultimate Warrior Challenge in Fairfax, Virginia. "Due to the nature of the match-up and the comparative abilities of the athletes, we might allow Mr. Ferguson to use a weapon," said Commission Chairman Edward Finberrie. "You know, like a bat or chain, or a plank of wood with a nail in it. Because, really, the Virginia Boxing and Wrestling Commission is all about fairness and, of course, the safety of the fighters." No word yet on what, if any, weapon Ferguson will choose. Also on the card for this UWC: "Capital Punishment" event are TUF vet War Machine, Ron Stallings, Binky Jones and a number of other competitors in no danger of getting killed.

Babalu Out of Strikeforce Bout with Rafael "Feijao" Cavalcante; Who Should Replace Him?

Renato "Babalu" Sobral is out of his scheduled June 6th Strikeforce bout against Rafael "Feijao" Cavalcante (a spikey-hair injury is rumored to be the culprit). Who should replace Babalu in this light-heavyweight title fight? The Northeast's top 205-pounder, of course, which would be Ricardo Romero. Romero just fought at ROC 24 on Friday, easily dispatching Greg Jackson-trained James McSweeney with the kind of wrestling and ground game dominance that would translate into Feijao eating more than a few face-fulls of leather before the night is through. And while the Brazilian definitely has some heavy hands himself - as evidenced by his KO and TKO wins in EliteXC and the IFL - those heavy hands would be swinging while Feijao is lying flat on his back, as Romero's wrestling has been used to get every single one of his opponents to the ground and keep them there. Ricardo Romero, therefore, gets my vote as Babalu's replacement.

June 13th Ray Mercer/Tim Sylvia Caged Boxing Bout in Alabama Set to Rock the Fight World to its Core

Um, not.

Anderson Silva Should Be Traded to Strikeforce

We have yet to enter the age where contracted fighters are traded from one organization to another, but never before has a promotion been stuck with an ill-fitting athlete in such a high-profile spot. That's right, I'm talking about UFC middleweight champ Anderson Silva. Rightfully hyped as one of the best pound-for-pound fighters in the world, and dangerous like a lit stick of dynamite wrapped in barbed wire and covered with razors is dangerous, Silva is now at the level where he's beaten everyone who may have been a threat to him. The only possible opponents left are people with no chance who know they have no chance, so fans are stuck with bouts best described as "boring pieces of doggy crap". The solution: trade Silva to Strikeforce. Does anyone honestly think Strikeforce middleweights like Cung Le, Robbie Lawler, Scott Smith and Benji Radach are going to butt flop against Silva? Of course not. Everyone of these 185-pounders would swing for the fences and go out on their shield (or get lucky and land a golden knockout). What would the UFC get out of the deal? Aside from a fighter worthy of the Octagon, they'd get their middleweight division back. Because right now, the UFC's middleweight division belongs to Anderson Silva... and he's not giving it up anytime soon.

The Last Salvo Between MMA Journalist and Shady Promoter's Attorney?

After some back and forth via email, with Shady Promoter's Attorney wanting Full Contact Fighter magazine's mailing address but also expressing a desire to talk on the phone, MMA Journalist received this: "I have provided you information via email and by letter. The letter has been mailed to Full Contact Fighter. Your unethical, egregious, and despicable behavior indicate that a phone conversation would be inappropriate and contrary to my client's and my best interests. I consider this matter concluded."

In turn, I responded with: "No problem. I'm glad to have helped educate you on the law."

According to an automated response, the Shady Promoter's Attorney now blocks my emails. Did a newbie lawyer get in trouble for sending out frivolous cease & desist letters from his daddy's law firm? MMA Journalist can only wonder...

Observations From My Couch: UFC 97

• That main event was a stinker. But how much can you really blame Anderson Silva? It's not his fault people are petrified of engaging with him.
• Nothing sadder than seeing a once-great fighter decline. Nothing sadder. Chuck, you've had a great run, but it's time to hang up the gloves and bang strippers full-time.
• Matt Wiman may have lost a decision (that he deserved), but at least he looked biblical.
• Antoni Hardsuck.
• Brian Stann and Steve Cantwell - living proof that the WEC is to the UFC what Little League Baseball is to Major League Baseball.

ROC 24 Postscript

Good show with great action, but very weird with all the decisions and draws. Andy Main and Ricky Lee was a huge crowd-pleaser, Will Martinez was impressive as hell and I still can't believe Dom Stanco lost.

Liveblog: ROC 24 Part 7

Charles Oliveira de Silva of Gold Team Fighters makes his way to the cage to some soft-rock Brazilian tune that old people in Sao Paulo must play in their Lincoln Continentals as they drive to and from the early-bird special at their local rodizio. Dom Stanco of Bellmore Kickboxing comes out to rap, which is a pleasant contrast. Wow. Okay, I didn't see this one coming. The fight opens with Oliveira de Silva getting Stanco down and controlling him, very nearly sinking the rear naked choke. Stanco reverses to drop some leather, but the Brazilian sweeps him, takes his back, and this time the rear naked choke is successful. Stanco taps at 3:33 of the first round in what is definitely an upset. Props to Oliveira de Silva, as he's now the USKBA East Coast Lightweight Champ. James McSweeney of Greg Jackson's School of Nipple Tweaking is up and facing Advanced Martial Arts' Ricardo Romero in a heavyweight bout. Romero is one of the best in the Northeast so hopefully he reps us well. And... he does, dominating the Brit with his wrestling and tapping him out with a rear naked choke at 2:27 of Round 1. Last bout of the night is Team Renzo's Rafael Sapo against Gold Team Fighters' Plinio Cruz - a match-up that pits Brazilian against Brazilian. Somewhere back in their homeland, two rival Sao Paulo gangs have gathered around a laptop with an Internet connection, awaiting the result of this one like old 1920s boxing fans gathered around a radio. Anyway, Round 1 sees Sapo stuck on Cruz's back working for the choke and Cruz escaping late and swinging for the fences. Round 2 has more grappling dominance by Sapo, as evidenced by his rear naked choke victory at 3:13. And I'm out.

Liveblog: ROC 24 Part 6

Human highlight reel Sean Salmon steps into the cage to take on John Doyle. As everyone knows, Salmon specializes in getting knocked out and Doyle is a ground and pounder, so, uh, we'll see how this one goes. Round 1 has Salmon wrestling Doyle to the mat and beating on him for the duration, and Round 2 has more of the same. You know, it's a shame Salmon's original opponent Constantinos Phillippou fell through. Salmon would've been stretchered out by now and we'd be onto the next fight. Anyway, Doyle has a ton of heart and makes it to the end, but Salmon's in control on the ground throughout and the UFC vet best known for eating Rashad Evans' shin is awarded the unanimous decision. Next up are Lamont Lister of Fight Firm and Dante Rivera of Ricardo Almeida's School for Gifted Youngters. Both Lister and Rivera have vocal supporters cheering for them, with Rivera seeming to have the hotter females rooting for him. The two engage and Rivera reaps out Lister's leg for the takedown, and after a scramble the Ricardo Almeida-trained fighter snags the guillotine for the tap out at 1:25 of Round 1.