Friday, November 28, 2008

Fedor Realizes He Can't Speak English, Cancels US Press Tour

Fedor Emelianenko, widely hailed as the best heavyweight fighter in the world, has cancelled his US press tour according to a written statement from his management team. The cancellation comes after the Russian sambo specialist's sudden realization that he cannot speak English, a realization that struck when Fedor was presented with his itinerary (which was to include interviews on "The Today Show" and "Nightline" as well as guest lectures at Columbia University, Yale and Harvard). "This man who follows me around and repeats what I say, but in other languages, I think he's a translator," said Fedor through a translator. "Really, I just thought people couldn't understand me because I mumble. But no, it's because I don't speak anything but Russian." Fedor is set to face former UFC champ Andrei Arlovski at Affliction's sophomore outing on January 24th.

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