Observations From My Couch: UFC Fight Night 19

• Maybe there was some sort of grand coincidence where everyone had a mortgage or car payment due, but it seemed like just about the entire main card was going balls-out to secure that "Fight of the Night" bonus. And yes, that's a good thing.
• Nate "The Get Mauled But Still Beat The Hell Out Of You Rock" Quarry.
• For a first timer, Jake Ellenberger sure didn't hesitate to pound the crap out of Carlos Condit. He definitely belongs in the Octagon.
• Because of the beating he took and the ability he showed in recovering and coming back to win, Condit never looked better. He, too, belongs in the Octagon.
• As last fights on contracts go, Roger Huerta kinda went out with style. He blasted Gray Maynard more than a few times, avoided the "Human Blanket" and refused to tap when his arm was nearly ripped out of its socket. He's going to make a great addition to Strikeforce's roster and will likely end up their champ.
• Melvin Guillard: so much talent and raw ability, so much suck.

Predictions for UFC Fight Night 19: "Nate Diaz vs. Easy Submission Win To Salvage His Career"

UFC Fight Night 19 is nearly upon us, and the show - titled "Nate Diaz vs. Easy Submission Win To Salvage His Career" - will feature TUF 5 winner Diaz against Melvin Guillard, a veritable grappling dummy that loves to throw big punches and do mountains of cocaine. The SpikeTV-broadcast event will serve as a lead-in for the eagerly anticipated TUF 10 debut episode, and if UFC Fight Night 19's card is of any indication, the network's executives really don't give a crap who is fighting on their channel, only that someone is. So... predictions!

• In the Nate Quarry vs. Tim Credeur bout, the two elder statesmen will fight. Or maybe sit around and talk about the good old days while calling the younger fighters on the card whippersnappers. Then they'll leave to catch the early bird special at the buffet, and go to bed around 7pm.
• Carlos Condit will defeat Jake Ellenberger. Afterwards, he'll go home, root around in his closet, pull out the WEC championship belt he threw there in shame after his last UFC bout, dust it off, and put it back in its display case on the wall in his living room.
• Gray Maynard is going to dry-hump Roger Huerta so vigorously, Huerta is going to show up at Xtreme Couture in nine months with a baby in his arms and say to Maynard, "Gray, you're a daddy. Let's make this work for his sake."
• It really doesn't matter who wins between Diaz and Guillard. What does matter is the ungodly amounts of weed and blow that will be found at their afterparty.