Observations From My Couch: UFC Fight Night 19

• Maybe there was some sort of grand coincidence where everyone had a mortgage or car payment due, but it seemed like just about the entire main card was going balls-out to secure that "Fight of the Night" bonus. And yes, that's a good thing.
• Nate "The Get Mauled But Still Beat The Hell Out Of You Rock" Quarry.
• For a first timer, Jake Ellenberger sure didn't hesitate to pound the crap out of Carlos Condit. He definitely belongs in the Octagon.
• Because of the beating he took and the ability he showed in recovering and coming back to win, Condit never looked better. He, too, belongs in the Octagon.
• As last fights on contracts go, Roger Huerta kinda went out with style. He blasted Gray Maynard more than a few times, avoided the "Human Blanket" and refused to tap when his arm was nearly ripped out of its socket. He's going to make a great addition to Strikeforce's roster and will likely end up their champ.
• Melvin Guillard: so much talent and raw ability, so much suck.

Joe Lauzon: "Vaseline? Ha! My Corner Rubs Me Down with Gasoline!"

Step aside, Georges St. Pierre - Joe Lauzon is here. Wading hip-deep into the controversy that has arisen from St. Pierre's UFC 94 clash against BJ Penn, the TUF 5 veteran and Massachusetts native admitted in a recent interview to having illegal substances applied to his body between rounds as well. "Vaseline?" said Lauzon. "Ha! My corner rubs me down with gasoline! Sometimes even kerosene! We're crazy like that!" Lauzon is scheduled to face Jeremy Stephens in the main event of Saturday's UFC Fight Night 17 in Tampa, Florida. Will this admission jeopardize that match-up? Said a spokesman for the Florida State Boxing Commission, "We always have fire extinguishers on hand in case competitors spontaneously combust, so it shouldn't be an issue. This is Florida, after all. That sort of thing happens anyway."

Is the Northeast a Breeding Ground for Badasses?

Dan Miller needed only a minute and a half to choke the hell out of his opponent in his Octagon debut at UFN 15. Mike Massenzio damn near ripped Drew McFedries' arm off at the same event. Phillipe Nover sent his TUF foe packing in impressive fashion, and by all accounts Brian McLaughlin was kicking ass until an illegal knee earned him a win by disqualification. What do Miller, Massenzio, Nover and McLaughlin all have in common? They're the cream of the crop in the New Jersey fight circuit, and after spending years honing their skills in events like Reality Fighting, Ring of Combat, and the now-defunct IFL, they're sharp as hell and experienced enough to win at the highest of levels. For the longest time, MMA hotbeds like the West Coast and the Midwest were cranking out the toughest mixed martial artists, but no longer. Is the Northeast a breeding ground for badasses? With a wealth of shows and talent and solid schools focused on MMA, it sure is now.

Anthony Johnson Loses Appeal Due to Excessive Blindness

UFC fighter Anthony Johnson, who was blatantly eye-gouged by opponent Kevin Burns at their UFN 14 clash but lost the bout via controversial TKO thanks to a referee's bad call, has had his appeal rejected by the Nevada State Athletic Commission. According to NSAC High Exalted One Keith Kizer, the reason behind the rejected appeal was "excessive blindness", as Johnson was unable to see the requisite forms to properly fill them out. Johnson has since undergone surgery for his damaged eye, and currently uses a prosthetic eyeball as well as an eye patch.