Observations From My Couch: UFC Fight Night 18

• I'm not ashamed to say the UFC's tribute to Charles Lewis, aka "Mask", had me teary-eyed. Thank you, Zuffa. Really.
• Cole Miller may have won, but Junie Browning got the last laugh. His fans found Miller's car in the parking lot and painted Confederate flags all over it.
• When Rafael dos Anjos caught Tyson Griffin in that heretofore unseen calf-crusher, Helio Gracie turned to Japanese judo legend Masahiko Kimura in Heaven and said, "Dude! Did you see that?"
• Ryan Bader defeated Carmelo Marrero by... Bader won with... A priest, a rabbi and Ryan Bader walk into a bar... Man, I just don't care enough about Bader to make something up about him. Sorry.
• Carlos Condit deserves a ton of credit for giving Martin Kampmann such a good fight. I still believe the caliber of WEC fighters pales in comparison to the UFC (by far), but Condit is tough as hell and has a bright future in the Octagon.

Top Five Coolest Moves by the UFC

Zuffa may do some douchey things for the sake of business (or spite), but they have done a few things that were benevolent, and those actions should not be glossed over or forgotten. Here are just five cool things the UFC has done:

1. Corey Hill's post-fight care. Yes, he suffered a horrific injury in the Octagon, but by all accounts his employers did right by taking care of him and having a Zuffa lackey stay with him in the hospital. I can't think of many other promotions out there that would have gone to those lengths for a hurt fighter.
2. Treating fans like gold. There aren't too many sports where a fan can win a contest and get VIP treatment at an event, or where a fan can approach and mingle with the president.
3. The UFC's on-air tribute to Mask of the TapouT crew at UFC Fight Night 18. It was fitting, and it felt like the UFC really cared.
4. Listening to the fans. When Zuffa first took over they put together a BJ Penn vs. Din Thomas match-up because that's what fans online wanted to see. Of course, in an entertainment-based industry, letting the audience drive your business may seem like a no-brainer now, but keep in mind that SEG (the UFC's previous owners) didn't always make the fights everyone wanted to see.
5. Contributing to charities and causes. While the UFC's "Fight for the Troops" event may be the most recent example, the organization has been sending fighters to hospitals to visit sick children and sending fighters and merchandise to soldiers since the beginning. At the end of the day, that really means something.

Top Five Shadiest Moves by the UFC

If not for Zuffa, the UFC and the sport of mixed martial arts would be no where near as accepted and popular as it is today. That said, Dana White and company have done some seriously shady things. Sure, business is business, but the media wouldn't be doing its job if it didn't point out some of the skeezy, underhanded practices Zuffa has pulled off. Can I get an amen? So here are the top five shadiest moves perpetrated by the UFC:

1. Approaching fighters in their locker rooms and handing them bonus money with the instructions that it's for the fighter and only for the fighter. I guess managers and agents don't deserve a cut, eh?
2. Courting fighters like Fedor Emelianenko and Kimbo Slice fervently, then bashing them as subpar when they don't sign with their organization.
3. Banning media that gives coverage to other MMA organizations.
4. Threatening to cut all American Kickboxing Academy fighters when AKA fighter Jon Fitch is reluctant to agree to a questionable lifetime contract signing away his likeness in perpetuity for a UFC video game.
5. Disallowing managers and agents backstage. Sure, there's a degree of boo-frickin-hoo involved with this issue, but if representatives of the organization are going to approach fighters backstage with a bonus check or contract to be signed, the fighter should be allowed to have his manager or agent present. Otherwise, it's just shadiness, man. Shadiness.

Predictions for UFN 18: "Condit vs. the Harsh Reality That Fighters in the WEC Weren't Exactly the Best"

Tonight is another harrowing installment of UFC Fight Night, which will serve as the prelude to the opening episode of "The Ultimate Fighter - Season Eleven Quabillion". On deck is WEC welterweight champ Carlos Condit taking on Danish fighter Martin Kampmann, which should be a real test for Condit and an excellent gauge as to where WEC champs rank amongst "real" fighters. An interesting sidenote about WEC champs: to get credentials for UFC events, they have to perform chores backstage; Condit is actually well-known for his backrubs. And now, on to the predictions.

• In the main event bout between Condit and Kampmann, Condit is going to lose.
• When Condit squares off against the former UFC middleweight fighter, he's going to realize in dramatic fashion that the WEC fighters he faced weren't exactly the best fighters out there.
• Condit is going to get smoked like a cheap, poorly-rolled joint behind the cafeteria during study hall.
• "Carlos, don't do it! You're going to die!"
• As William Shakespeare once said, "Frailty, thy name is Condit."
• Carlos Condit is not only not going to win, but he's also going to lose.

Zuffa Bars Fighters From Talking with Managers and Agents; Also, Family and Friends

According to a report on Sherdog.com, Zuffa has now barred fighters from talking with their managers and agents, going so far as to refuse to issue UFC and WEC event credentials for those representing fighters and forbidding fighters from even talking with such people. Also under consideration is a ban on all fighters communicating with family and friends - a move that bespeaks of Zuffa's desire to keep its employees isolated and malleable. "This is an outrage!" says Ken Pavia, a well-known agent and vampire who has often perched himself up in a venue's rafters and preyed upon the unsuspecting backstage. "You can't keep a fighter away from his representation. It's wrong. Besides, how am I supposed to feed?" Emails to Zuffa for comment went unreturned.

Shady Kansas City Promotion Trying to Screw One of Fred Ettish's Fighters

A shady Kansas City-based promotion called Close Quarter Combat, which held an event in the Kansas City area on March 21st, is trying to screw one of Fred Ettish's fighters - but you don't try to screw one of Ettish's fighters and get away with it. A competitor in UFC 2 and well-respected and longtime member of the MMA community, Ettish runs a Miletich Fighting Systems school nearby, and when CQC matchmakers Rick Huddleston and Jason Shane came around snooping for participants for their March event one of Ettish's students signed up. Unfortunately, despite athletic commission presence and oversight, no one got paid after the show... so Ettish is going to the press. And the state's attorney general. And the governor's office. And taking legal action. Bottom line: don't screw with Fred, because Fred is the Man. "CQC believes in helping our fighters reach their highest potential inside and outside the ring," reads a pre-event statement from the promotion. "We strive to help our fighters get maximum potential earnings and exposure during their career and to prepare them for a successful life after fighting in the ring." They seem to be failing to live up to their mission statement.

UFC 101 in Philadelphia to Not Be Headlined By Eddie Alvarez

The juggernaut that is the UFC will be coming to Philadelphia for UFC 101, and the organization is pulling out all the stops for its first event in the "City of Brotherly Love" by reportedly not having Philadelphia-based superstar Eddie Alvarez headline the show. Slated for August 8th at the Wachovia Center, UFC 101 will see non-Philadelphia native BJ Penn taking on another non-Philly fighter in Kenny Florian, while non-Philadelphia resident Forrest Griffin squares up against someone who probably couldn't even find Philadelphia on the map in Thiago Silva. Meanwhile, top-ten lightweight and local hero Alvarez still is not headlining the event (much less in the show). Said a spokesman for the organization, "We're very excited to be coming to Philadelphia - a place rich in pugilistic history and tradition - and what better way to celebrate our arrival than by not having the most successful Philadelphia-based fighter of all time on the card?"

Extreme Challenge: "Mayhem at the Marina" Postscript

Tara LaRosa had zero problem with Sally Krumdiack, Jeff Lentz completely neutralized Maciej Linke before wrecking him, and Kevin Roddy was slick as hell.

Liveblog: Mayhem at the Marina Part 4

Jay Silva of Team Rampage and Mike Johnson of Fight Factory make their way to the cage. Silva has Jorge "Macaco" Patino in his corner, while Johnson seems to have an entire Philly neighborhood on his side. Silva comes out taunting Johnson, daring him to trade with him, so of course Johnson engages in a grappling contest with him, the two trading positions and sub attempts and Silva getting the better of them. Silva gets his wish in Round 2, though, and after tagging Johnson repeatedly in the face he plants a knee to the ribs that has Johnson crumpling to the canvas. Silva wins via TKO at 1:26 of the round. Next up: Tim Bradley, who is apparently some badass wrestler from out west, against Steve DeAngelis of Team Pellegrino. DeAngelis seems to have superpowers, as all he needs to do to make Bradley verbally submit is to chill out in Bradley's guard and somehow pop the wrestler's rib. It's over at 1:50, and I'm not sure DeAngelis even broke a sweat. Last bout of the night and it's Tara LaRosa and Sally Krumdiack. Of course every opponent is a challenge, but will Krumdiack challenge LaRosa "extremely"? (See what I did there?) Not so much in Round 1, as LaRosa takes her down and pummels her intermittently for the duration. Round 2 is just like the first, while in the final round LaRosa punches Krumdiack in the face a couple times before taking her down and tapping her out with a keylock at 1:25. And that's it.

Liveblog: Mayhem at the Marina Part 3

It's time for Kevin Roddy of Team Pellegrino vs. Biff Walizer of Lionheart MMA. Once again, Roddy is firing off sub attempts like a Marine SAW gunner firing off rounds at Taliban irregulars, but Walizer dodges them all and punishes him return. Round 2, however, is when Roddy finally finds his groove, as he rocks Walizer on the feet then nails the triangle off a scramble. The official time of the tap out is 3:19 of the second round, and Roddy proves he's still got it. Schnake is in the cage introducing some Airforce "Special Forces" dude, and the Airman is pitching the US Airforce. Special Forces? Are they called in when the bird crap on the runway gets too fierce? I kid! Next up are Rich Edwards of Gold Team Fighters and Team Pellegrino's Dave Church. This is Edwards' first pro fight, and Church's only pro bout was a loss to Greg Soto about 10 years ago, so, um, yeah, I don't know what my point was. Oh wait, Richards favors boxing and Church grappling. How does this one play out? Church gets Edwards down, nearly gets him with a guillotine, then after a scramble gets Edwards with a head/arm choke at 2:29. Matt Kocher of some school in Pennsylvania and Troy Maxwell of Extreme Performance are up. I'm tempted to go up to Kocher and ask him if he only eats Kosher foods, but I don't think it would be well-received. Round 1 is pretty back-and-forth, with Kocher landing a hip toss and working for an RNC, and Maxwell almost hitting an RNC and some ground-and-pound. Round 2 has Kocher running out of gas and Maxwell beating him up standing and getting the RNC at 2:51.

Liveblog: Mayhem at the Marina Part 2

"Big" Poppa Schnake is announcing tonight and it truly is utter mayhem here at the Marina. Okay, not really. First bout is Pat White vs. Mervin Rodriguez, a featherweight match-up between two guys who weigh very little and probably eat a fraction of what normal-sized humans eat. Round 1 is all about Rodriguez beating the living hell out of White from every position possible, and while White manages to hang in there and even reverse at one point, he takes some serious punishment. The second round is more of the same until Rodriguez snags the armbar at 4:31. Dominant performance. Now it's Daniel Straus from Cincinatti taking on Lester Caslow of Kurt Pellegrino's Academy of Coolness. Straus' entrance music is an esoteric Queen song called "Keep Yourself Alive", which means he's either a fan of obscure classic rock or flamboyantly gay. Hmmm... he doesn't look gay. As usual, Caslow's entrance involves young girls swooning and throwing their panties into the cage. The opening round sees Caslow almost put his opponent to sleep with an arm-in guillotine, almost snag an armbar and punish him with knees on the feet. Straus gets some licks in, but I give it to the Team Pellegrino fighter. Things slow considerably in the second round, as an exhausted Caslow finds himself on the bottom losing the positional war. Round 3 is close, with both men scoring takedowns and blasting each other on the feet, and when time runs out the judges have the unenviable job of having to pick a winner. They pick Straus via split decision. That one seriously could have gone either way. Maciej Linke of Gold Team Fighters against Jeff Lentz of Rhino Fight Team are up. Linke is a Mundial winner or something, and from my vantage point I can see one of his cornermen praying and crossing himself. Hey, that's not fair bringing God into this. Wow, okay, I guess Lentz's purple belt courtesy of Carmine Zocchi is enough to keep him out of trouble, as he avoids Linke's ground game to drop bombs to knock Linke out. Linke is left unconscious on the mat at 1:45 of Round 1. Very impressive.

Liveblog: Mayhem at the Marina Part 1

MMA Journalist is cageside for Extreme Challenge's "Mayhem at the Marina", a Monte Cox event at Atlantic City's Trump Marina. This is the first New Jersey MMA show to take place at the Trump Marina, and the cage is set up in the ballroom of a casino full of elderly people and what I think may be zombies (or they could be just really old people). So, yeah, Trump Marina seems to be where old gamblers go to die. Here's hoping tonight's show doesn't give them heart attacks. Anyway, Tara LaRosa came in at 125 pounds, which is pretty light for her. Jay Silva is chilling with the Gold Team Fighters crew - I guess he's one of them now. Sally Krumdiak is pretty small, and up close it's apparent she does indeed have eyebrows (they're just very light).