If the WEC Goes to Pay-Per-View, Should You Buy It?

The World Extreme Cagefighting organization recently announced that it intends to air events live on pay-per-view instead of on the Versus network, a move that would force fans of the smaller fighters to shell out upwards of 40 bucks a show instead of the usual free (really, whatever your cable package costs with the Versus network option). This, of course, begs the question: If the WEC goes to pay-per-view, should you buy it? The answer is a definite "maybe", and while that "maybe" could be predicated on such factors as the value of the match-ups, the interest generated by the individual fighters and the level of overall intrigue attached to the show, MMA Journalist has developed a mathematical formula to help fans decide. Working under the premise that every worthwhile UFC pay-per-view event saw bouts from fighters with a combined weight exceeding 2,000 pounds, and cognizant of the fact that WEC fighters range from 125 to 155 pounds, the formula is thus: add together the weights of the WEC fighters expected to be seen on the pay-per-view broadcast, plus 50 pounds for each one whom you recognize. If that total exceeds 2,000, then buy it. For example, a card with just six bouts of lightweights, featherweights, bantamweights and flyweights would fall far short of the 2,000-pound cut-off. However, make some of those competitors "name" fighters like Urijah Faber, Mike Brown, Miguel Torres and Jens Pulver, and suddenly that number is exceeded. It's simple, really. In these harsh economic times, consumers must be shrewd with their expenditures. This applies no less so to MMA fans. Hopefully this formula will hope those who are unsure of whether or not a WEC pay-per-view card is worth skipping a meal for.

Miguel Torres: "I Need to Fight at Heavyweight to Make Money - This Mullet Ain't Paying For Itself!"

WEC bantamweight champ Miguel Torres has announced his intention to fight up a few weight classes, a move he claims is prompted by reasons purely financial. "I need to fight at heavyweight to make money," said the best 135-pound fighter in the world, and he emphasized his reasoning by pointing to his hairstyle. "This mullet ain't paying for itself!" As it's a widely-accepted reality that higher weight-class fighters command larger salaries, and that mullets often require thousands of dollars worth of hair care products daily, it's understandable that Torres would even consider such a move. But for fans of the man who's risen to the top of the bantamweights, it's a move that's nonetheless regrettable. "Seriously, I need the dough," said Torres. "WEC matchmaker Sean Shelby told me he knew people and could probably get me a bout against Cheick Kongo. Maybe even Shane Carwin." According to athletic commission records, Torres' salary stands at 600 dollars a fight plus a case of hair gel as a win bonus.

UFC Coming to Michigan!

The Ultimate Fighting Championship, an organization that mixes the combative disciplines of karate, judo, kung fu and the exotic art of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, is coming to the Cobo Arena in Detroit, Michigan possibly by the end of the year. On tap to wage war within the confines of the dreaded "Octagon" are "World's Most Dangerous Man" Ken Shamrock and UFC 5 tournament winner Dan "the Beast" Severn, who will be rematching in a superfight that should determine just who the baddest no-holds-barred fighter on the planet really is! Also on the card is Don "the Predator" Frye against grappling master Amaury Bitetti, "Stuttering" Mark Hall against Japanese sumo legend Koji Kitao, and Olympic wrestling gold medalist Mark Schultz against Gary "Big Daddy" Goodridge. Want to see blood? Want to see carnage? Then tune into UFC 9 on pay-per-view!

NSAC Orders Parisyan to Shave Back, Take Nine Months of Remedial English

The Nevada State Athletic Commission issued a harsh penalty to Karo Parisyan, ordering the UFC welterweight to shave his back and take nine months of remedial English before he can return to competition. As reported by MMA Journalist on February 10th, Parisyan tested positive for Armenian after his UFC 94 bout against Dong Hyun Kim. At yesterday's NSAC hearing Parisyan pleaded for leniency, but the pleas of the fighter - a judo expert who was once considered a top contender in the 170-pound weight class - were ultimately ignored. "We take these sorts of things very seriously," said NSAC Chief Xenophobe Keith Kizer, who, in addition to handing down punishment to the "hairy kid who says 'bro' way too much", overturned Parisyan's decision win over Kim, rendering it a "no contest". MMA Journalist contacted Parisyan for a comment but was unable to understand him.

How Scary is Cristiane "Cyborg" Santos?

You may recognize her as that tough Chute Boxe representative who wrecked Shayna Baszler and Yoko Takahashi in EliteXC. You may know her as the fighter destined to face Gina Carano in what will be female MMA's biggest marquee match-up yet. But Brazil's Cristiane "Cyborg" Santos, who's slated to execute Hitomi Akano at Strikeforce's April 11th show, is more than that: she's actually one of the most frightening individuals in the sport. So just how scary is Cyborg?

• At EliteXC's "Unfinished Business" event in California, a mix up in the locker rooms had Cyborg confronting an innocent Robbie Lawler and accusing him of stealing her ice bucket. Lawler reportedly burst into tears and was inconsolable for an hour afterwards.
• At last year's Chute Boxe Secret Santa gift exchange, trainer Rudimar Fedrigo gave Cyborg a small kitten. She swallowed the whole thing before he could tell her it was supposed to be a pet.
• Heavyweight slugger Brett Rogers was originally offered a chance to fight Cyborg on April 11th. His reply: "Man, I ain't ready for that. You trying to get me killed?"
• The most popular Halloween mask in Brazil for the last two years has been the "Cristiane 'Cyborg' Santos" mask.
• All of Cyborg's past opponents and two officiating referees now suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, and three of the fighters have sought medical treatment. One of the referees has given up MMA and become a Hare Krishna.

MMA Journalist Exclusive: Scott Coker to Set Up Animal vs. Animal Fights

In an exclusive imaginary interview with MMA Journalist, Strikeforce Grandmaster Scott Coker, the man behind the promotion's leap to Showtime and CBS, has revealed that he intends to set up animal vs. animal bouts in addition to regular MMA bouts. An idea once pushed by UFC matchmaker Joe Silva, animal vs. animal bouts have gained little traction among athletic commissions and animal rights organizations. But the fan interest is there - a fact that Coker hopes to exploit to satisfy Strikeforce's suddenly daunting event schedule. Here's an excerpt from that shocking imaginary interview:

• Okay, you have a ton of fighters on your roster now that you acquired all those ProElite contracts but you have quite a few events on your plate for both Showtime and CBS. Are you worried about being able to put together enough fights people want to see? No. I was at first. But then I was staring out my window and saw my dog - a cute, little Yorkshire Terrier - getting attacked by a bald eagle in my backyard. And it hit me: why not do animal against animal bouts, too?
• Uh, animal against animal? Yeah, man. I mean, I remember talking to Joe Silva about it once. We were speculating on who would win if a lion fought an alligator or if a gorilla fought a rhinoceros, and he was saying that he'd tried to push that idea past the powers that be so the UFC could do those bouts. It never materialized, obviously, but why can't Strikeforce run with the idea?
• I don't know... laws, maybe? Yeah, that was my initial thought. However, when I went out to my backyard, and that bald eagle was tearing apart my little Yorkie and I was trying to swat it with a shovel, I realized that the only legal issue that would arise would be if we used an endangered species.
• Okay, but what about things like the carcass left behind once a match is finished? That's probably not something people want to see. No, you're right about that. No one wants to see a combatant fallen on the battlefield. But, going back to that bald eagle incident, when the thing retreated to a branch and stared down at me and my poor dog, that's when I realized that Mother Nature takes care of those things - if you let her. See, that's why, when Strikeforce does an animal vs. animal bout on Showtime or CBS, we're going to let the winner eat the loser. The problem about having a dead body left behind is solved.
• Very interesting. So... how is your dog? Oh, I let the eagle have him.
• Nice. Well, thanks for your time, Mr. Coker. And good luck. Thanks.

Asylum Fight League 12 Postscript

A decent night of fights in a very intimate venue. Gabriel Crawley looked impressive, Jovany Alvarez looked scary and Jason Moore looked like he might be able to kick a few pro light-heavyweights' asses.

Liveblog: Asylum Fight League Part 6

Rex O'Corr of World Gym and Jason Moore of Team Vicious take to the cage for the second-to-last fight. It looks like Moore forgot this was amateur because in the opening seconds he kicks O'Corr in the face and punches him in the grill when he's down. After a restart they resume slugging and O'Corr takes one in the groin, then they restart yet again and O'Corr gets the takedown - at which point Moore armbars him. Boy, if there was ever a day that O'Corr should have stayed in bed... Last bout of the night and it's Oscar Arizmendi of Wilkie's Warriors against Liam Kerrigan of NJIMB/Cabecca, a battle between two men who would just as soon rip your ears off as look at you. Just kidding. They seem like nice guys. Arizmendi has a small puppy with him, while Kerrigan is tossing daisies into the crowd. Anyway, Kerrigan takes Arizmendi down and taps him out with a bent-armlock at 2:12 of the first round. That's all, folks.

Liveblog: Asylum Fight League Part 5

Leif Albright of Wilkie's Warriors and JC Carie of Dragon Theory Martial Arts are up. Albright is controlling Carie on the ground handily, and the bell rings with him almost landing an armbar. Carie makes it competitive in Round 2, winding up on top a few times and going for a guillotine or two, but Albright flexed his wrestling muscle for the final frame to take the unanimous decision. This is shaping up to be a good night for Alex Wilkie's team. Next is Kyle Malone of World Gym against Major Jon Lapidow of the New Jersey National Guard, who only trains one weekend a month and one month out of the year. It's enough. Major Lapidow puts Malone to sleep with a guillotine that has Tom Velasquez (a pro fighter working as a judge) beside me screaming "He's out! He's out!" The official time is :24 of the first round. It's time for Darryl Haze of TSMMA and Claudio Ladesma of North NJ MMA/Renzo Gracie Danville to go at it. Round 1 is pretty back and forth as the two take turns in top position punishing the other, while in the second Ladesma does a little more damage on the ground. Round 3 plays out just like Round 2, thereby convincing the judges that Ladesma deserved the decision.

Liveblog: Asylum Fight League Part 4

It's time for Steven "the Crab" DiSebastian of Wilkie's Warriors to take on Brandon Rook of Dragon Theory Martial Arts. You might wonder why DiSebastian has the nickname "the Crab". Well, in all seriousness, he's got six legs and a pair of claws - which is kind of amazing, actually, but it begs the question: why is he allowed to fight against a normal bipedal human? An interesting aside about his opponent Rook: the kid can only move forwards and backwards and side to side - not diagonally. Round 1 sees the Crab very nearly land a rear naked choke, but Rook counters with melted butter and some Old Bay seasoning and survives. The Crab controls his opponent with his pincers in Round 2, while in Round 3 the Rook rallies with a series of punches and a crowd-pleasing spinning backfist that has his opponent scuttling and trying to retreat back into the waves. It isn't enough, though, and the Crab gets the majority decision. Jovany Alvarez of TSMMA and Josh Aarons of Team Vicious take the cage, a pair of 120 pounders who move so fast on the ground no one can discern what they're doing until they replay it in slo-mo on the big screen. Alvarez takes the first round with about 50 sub attempts from the bottom, and he takes the second by feeding Aarons punches on the feet and pounding on him on the ground. Alvarez gets the armbar at 2:12 of the final round, but his victory celebration involves him screaming in his defeated opponent's face - which, um, ain't too cool. Outstanding performance, though.

Liveblog: Asylum Fight League Part 3

The Garv just asked for a Shabazz Fruit Cola. I guess the Shabazz company liked his announcing at that Newark show last month, and now they're sponsoring him. It's fitting. The Garv practically bleeds Shabazz Fruit Cola. TSMMA's Juan Pichardo and Team Pellegrino's Craig Theiem are up. This one is the best fight of the night thus far, as the two are aggressively blasting each other. I give the edge to Theiem in Round 1 - he's landing more and harder. Pichardo finds his range with his counterpunching in the second round, bloodying Theiem's nose, while in the final round Theiem goes to Plan B and starts bringing the fight to the ground and holding Pichardo there. The unanimous decision goes to Theiem when time runs out. Next up is Phil Mazzurco of Wilkie's Warriors and Matt Barth of Bloomsburg MMA. Here's a trip down memory lane for you: I was ringside for Mazzurco's first fight ever at BAMA Fight Night about 30 years ago; it was against Mike Ciesnolevicz, who fights in the UFC now, and Mazzurco lost by guillotine. Anyhoo, Mazzurco gets the takedown but they scramble and slam each other and Barth throws up sub attempts while Mazzurco pounds on him over and over again until I am hypnotized and no longer capable of rational thought. Mazzurco takes the decision. Naheem Selby of Vita Saana Assassins and John Flock of Team Vicious are up. According to one of Selby's cornermen, "vita saana" means "art of war" in Swahili, although Selby loses the war on the ground thanks to Flock's positional dominance. Time runs out and there's no question Flock took the decision.

Liveblog: Asylum Fight League Part 2

Garv is in the cage asking for a ten-count of silence for Charles Lewis, a.k.a. "Mask" of TapouT. Also, there's apparently some New Jersey National Guard colonel here and that colonel has a fighter on the card. If that fighter loses, a tank is going to crush the cars in the parking lot, so we'll see how that goes. First bout is Rob Depalo of TSMMA against Jimmy Finck of Rhino Fight Team, and Round 1 sees Depalo scoring on the feet and Finck very nearly sinking the Anaconda on the ground. Round 2 features both men trading and tagging each other and Finck getting a takedown late, and in the final round the Rhino rep kept up with the takedowns until the bell. It's not enough to convince the judges, though, who award Depalo the unanimous decision. Lyman Good is here. I ask him how his training's going for his Bellator FC bout on April 10th. He responds by breathing fire. Now it's time for Gabriel Crawley of Vita Saana Assassins against Kenny Blewett of Team Pellegrino, and the two are engaging in a grappling chessmatch that has Blewett hunting for subs from the bottom and Crawley slamming him over and over. Things come to an end at 2:04 of Round 2 when Crawley slams Blewett hard for the TKO win. Randy Dunn of Bloomsburg MMA and Eric Steppe of Team Vicious are up next. Steppe gets the takedown, Dunn goes for a biceps crusher and then it's scramble and slam time. Steppe's superior wrestling is enabling him to throw his opponent around, but Dunn is going for more finishes. Steppe takes the second round with positional dominance, and he lands a decent right hook and keeps up with the top game in Round 3 to earn the decision.

Liveblog: Asylum Fight League Part 1

MMA Journalist is cageside here at Asylum Fight League 12, an amateur MMA event in Northern New Jersey. The venue is Club Abyss in Sayreville, and the cage is set up in the middle of what would normally be the dance floor; expect a lot of victory dances involving "the Robot" and "the Electric Slide". There are 14 bouts on the card, with such fight schools as Kurt Pellegrino's Ballet Studio, Alex Wilkie's Ballroom Dancing and Team Tiger Schulmann's Tapdance Academy represented. The Garv is in attendance with a microphone and pages of fresh material.