Bellator 17 Actually Pretty Diverse and Kick-Ass

The UFC, the WEC and Strikeforce may be current titans of the MMA world, but creeping around like a ninja in the shadows is the Bellator Fighting Championships, which has seemingly shied away from the Latino-centric flavor of last season and fully embraced fighters of all races, colors, creeds and religions.  Case in point: Bellator 17, which takes place tomorrow night in Boston and features champ Eddie Alvarez against UFC vet Josh Neer in a non-title superfight.  Top-five lightweight Alvarez may or may not be of Hispanic origin (I think I heard him say the words "Taco Bell" at some point, although I could be mistaken), but the ultra-tough Neer is so white he's practically see-through.  Meanwhile, in the lightweight tournament semi-final brackets, UFC superstar refugee and devout Catholic Roger Huerta is slated to take on Freemason Pat Curran, and submission ace Toby Imada and wrestler Carey Vanier will clash in a bout that pits a California hippie against a New Mexican.  Add to that an undercard that stars heavyweight Cole Konrad - who hails from someplace called "Wisconsin" - and Santeria practitioner Lance Everson, and you have a roster that's both pretty diverse and kick-ass.  As the event airs live on the Home Shopping Network (or something like that), it's definitely worth checking out.

June 26 Strikeforce to Feature Fedor vs. Werdum; Post-Fight Brawl to Feature Mayhem vs. M-1 Global Team

Fedor Emelianenko, the number-one ranked heavyweight fighter in the world, will return to action at Strikeforce's June 26th event, with the Russian superstar taking on Brazilian grappling master Fabricio Werdum.  The card will also feature a post-fight brawl between Jason "Mayhem" Miller and the entire M-1 Global team, with both the Fedor/Werdum bout and the Mayhem/M-1 Global post-fight brawl airing live on Showtime.  "A key point in the discussion was getting some cage time for Fedor's teammates," said a source within Strikeforce.  "Then someone suggested sending Miller in there after Fedor wins, maybe to issue a challenge or something, and then letting nature take its course.  They loved that idea."  The M-1 Global team includes fighters Karl Amoussou, Alexander Shlemenko and Kirill Sidelnikov, as well as managers Apy Echteld and Vadim Finkelstein.  It's anticipated that all will get some good licks in, with Sidelnikov in particular promised the chance to kick and stomp on Miller when he's curled up into a ball on the ground.  Added the Strikeforce spokesman, "Hey man, whatever it takes to get Fedor to fight.  Whatever it takes."

MMA's Top Five Epic Relationship Disasters

Last week TMZ.com broke the news that the relationship between Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson had hit a speed bump - a speed bump forged of Oxycontin pills, domestic abuse charges and a relaxing stay in one of the Huntington Beach Police Department's finest holding cells.  A former UFC champ and an ex-adult film actress having relationship trouble?  Unpossible!  But alas, the pics of Ortiz behind bars, the press conference and Jenna's arm in a brace made it all too real.  Sorry kids, but MMA fighters engage in some epic relationship disasters just like the rest of us.  Here, in no particular order, is a top five list of them.

Tito Ortiz vs. Jenna Jameson: As the saying goes, "Lay down with porn stars, wake up with restraining orders" - which is exactly what Ortiz did when he had twins with Jameson, thereby signing on for the long-term plan of "crazy" and "erratic".  Did he really assault her?  Is she really addicted to Oxys, which he claimed in his post-pokie press conference?  With yesterday's New York Daily News reporting that Jameson wants the Huntington Beach Bad Boy back, does it even matter?  Heck no!  Like a recurring staph infection that antibiotics just can't get rid of or a case of genital herpes caught on the set of "Debbie Does Everyone Everywhere", "Jennito" promises to be the gift that keeps on giving for as long as these star-crossed lovers share the warm embrace of passion and insanity.

Randy Couture vs. Kim Couture: Like Yoko Ono and the Beatles, Kim managed to brand herself as "that chick that made Randy ditch his wife and leave the UFC", and in the Land of People Will Hate Whomever They Want", it doesn't really matter if any of that's true or not.  What does matter: that Randy resigned as the UFC's heavyweight champ, then spent nearly a year fighting the organization in court over money and contracts and blah, blah, blah.  In the end, Randy lost the legal battle, returned to the Octagon, and served Kim divorce papers.  It's quite possible that more people cheered over the divorce than did over "The Natural" stepping back into the cage.

Jason "Mayhem" Miller vs. ex-girlfriend: If you think Miller's nickname stems from his uncanny ability to enter a Strikeforce cage and start a riot, think again.  The host of MTV's "Bully Beatdown" has been earning that nickname over and over again for years, with his 2005 beatdown of an ex-girlfriend's current beau just another installment of "How the Mayhem Turns".  Although the details are somewhat fuzzy, what we do know is that the incident was a 6:00am session of "kick in the door and fight", and the cops in Hawaii charged him with burglary and assault.  Ultimately, Miller was found not guilty, but the damage was done: his Hallmark Cards sponsorship was history.

Bobby Hoffman vs. newlywed wife: In 2001, Hoffman was a top-level heavyweight with a bright future, and if you had to describe him, the formula would go something like this: 40% punching power, 30% fighting ability, 20% skill and 85% crazy.  In his last trip to the Octagon - at UFC 34 - Hoffman fought and lost to soon-to-be-champ Josh Barnett.  He then went up to his hotel room and beat his newlywed wife, a turn of events that landed him in the slammer for a long enough period of time that his name to fans went from Bobby Hoffman to "Bobby who?"

Gina Carano vs. Kit Cope: It takes a special kind of ex-boyfriend to wait until you make it big to announce to the world that he has a sex tape featuring you, but Kit Cope - a Muay Thai champ and mid-grade MMA fighter - is one such ex-boyfriend.  Carano had just turned in a gritty performance as the American Gladiator "Crush, had done well for herself on a CBS/Kimbo fight card, and had the biggest fight in female MMA history (against Cyborg Santos) looming, so of course it was the best possible time for Cope to come forward.  For shame on you, Cope, for trying to capitalize on her fame.  Also, for shame for not actually having a sex tape.

UCL/Empire State Warrior Challenge Crossover?

According to the UCL's official twitter (www.twitter.com/savevaletudo), there may be a possible underground show crossover on the horizon, specifically, Team UCL vs. Team Empire State Warrior Challenge at a location in Upstate New York.  In case you don't know, ESWC is a long-running promotion that caters to those aspiring fighters north of NYC.  MMA Journalist loathes traveling to Upstate New York - Bigfoot is rumored to live up there, after all - but this is an event I'd just have to go to to liveblog.  Hopefully it pans out.

A Review of "Why I Fight: The Belt Is Just An Accessory" by BJ Penn with David Weintraub

BJ Penn's autobiography - titled "Why I Fight: The Belt is Just an Accessory", co-authored by David Weintraub and currently rocking the number 22 spot on the New York Times Best Seller List for hardcover nonfiction - is pretty decent. And I stress the word "decent". Though far better than what Matt Hughes put to paper, the prose won't exactly knock your socks off. However, if you're looking for insight on what Penn's life was like growing up, how he took to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and the details surrounding each of his MMA bouts (the book covers everything up to and including his fight with Kenny Florian), then it's a worthwhile read. Also, if you want some snapshots of Dana White's interactions with the Hawaiian fighting legend - unfavorable snapshots - well, "Why I Fight" gives up the goods on all that sordid stuff. Ranking all the MMA books on the shelves, "Blood in the Cage" by L. Jon Wertheim still sits at number one, but Penn's book is a firm number two. Check it out. Or don't. I don't care.

Mitch the Intern's TUF 11 Recap: Episode 5

*Editor's note: Mitch the Intern is an NYU undergrad whose favorite Wednesday night pastime includes the TV in his dorm room, a green beanbag chair and two hits of acid.  Enjoy.*

Can gangsters fight?  From such classics as "The Godfather", "Goodfellas", "Casino" and "Finding Nemo", we know that they can intimidate and assassinate pretty well, but we've never known much about their actual ability when it's time for a bit of the old one-on-one ultra-violence.  Well, thanks to British organized crime figure Ronnie Kray, who ruled 1960s London with an iron fist and who's struggling to make a name for himself in the world of homoerotic MMA reality shows, we now have an answer.  But first…

The wildcard fight!  Let's all talk about it!  Gather around, kids, and listen to a tale of two fighters, a duo comprised of "loss" and "fail" who got their asses kicked en route to the TUF finale but were given a second chance because… because… because why?  Is it that the TUF formula has gotten so stale that these little twists are thrown in to spice up what would otherwise be a soup made up of nothing but water from the garden hose?  Is it that TUF's advertisers are wavering, not quite sure that those 30-second commercial blocks may be worth it because really, how many viewers are going to tune in when Kimbo's not on the show?  Is it that releasing a dozen rabid weasels into the house while the contestants are sleeping is simply an idea the production's insurance company just cannot get behind?  Whatever the reason, two fighters who lost in the quarterfinals will get a second chance.  Will it be Dumb as a Bag of Hammers, who lost to Hawaii Five-O in the trivia round?  Will it be RC Cola, who's had 100 fights in his career and lost 70 of them?  Well, it sure ain't going to be Rich Atonofneato, who broke his prosciutto when he fought, and it damn sure ain't going to be Fruit Striped Gum.  Speaking of which…

Fade in to a fighter lying in bed.  Moaning.  Bandaged.  Clearly messed up.  With his shock of green hair, we realize it's Fruit Striped Gum.  "I went to the doctor yesterday and he operated on me for three hours," and with his arm in a sling, a bandage on his shoulder, and a patchwork of stitching all over his body, we believe him.  Apparently he really was injured in his fight, as the doctor removed his spleen and gall bladder, performed a vasectomy, reattached his right shoulder and sewed a cantankerous old man's head onto his left shoulder.  "You son of bitch," utters the cantankerous old man head.

It's time to choose the next fight, and with Cypress Hill's TKO win over some anonymous someone, coach Tito Ortiz has the ball.  The Giant-Headed One picks Brit gangster Ronnie Kray to face an unassuming kid named Josh.  How unassuming is Josh?  Says coach Chuck Liddell, "Wait, that kid was on my team?  I thought he was a janitor?"  Adds trainer John Hackleberry Finn, "I agree with whatever Chuck says.  Even if it's gibberish."

Training montage, and Ortiz is making his wards work hard with push-ups while on fire and sit-ups while trapped under a bus.  "I don't know if all this intense training is the smartest thing when someone has a fight coming up," says RC Cola, who's fought about 100 times and lost 70 of them.  Uh, dude, if you're saying that, then it must be a brilliant idea.

Also around this time, Ortiz makes a point of apologizing to Fruit Striped Gum.  "I gave you crap because I thought you were faking your injuries, but I can see now that I was wrong, so I'm sorry," says Ortiz.

"You son of bitch," says the cantankerous old man head sewn onto sewn onto Fruit Striped Gum's left shoulder.

And then it's fight time, and in typical Liddell fashion, Mr. I Can't Dance Better Than Donnie Osmond has taken a flight to Japan in the mistaken belief that Ronnie Kray's TUF quarterfinal bout was happening there.  Consequently, he misses the bout.

Also missing: Ronnie Kray's cardio.  Round 1 goes well for him and poorly for Josh, with the Brit gangster muscling his opponent all over the cage and shaking him down like he's an East End shopkeeper.  But the wheels come off the double-decker bus in Round 2, and in Round 3 it's all about the one kid that no one noticed picking apart a life-long criminal both on the feet and on the ground.  Josh takes the decision, and we have our answer: no, gangsters can't fight.

"You son of bitch," cries the cantankerous old man head.

"MMA in NY Still Possible for 2010" Says Writer Who Somehow Forgot About The 60+ NY Shows Thus Far

According to MMAPayout, there's still a chance folks in the Empire State could somehow see some mixed martial arts before the year is out - a declaration that overlooks the fact that there have been over 60 unsanctioned but well-recognized MMA events in the state within the last ten years alone.  In the article "MMA in New York Still Possible for 2010" (http://mmapayout.com/2010/04/mma-in-new-york-still-possible-for-2010/), much is made of a recent Wall Street Journal article that examines the status of Governor David Paterson's budget proposal, a proposal that includes a provision that would allow the state to sanction professional  mixed martial arts.  However, what both the Wall Street Journal article and MMAPayout seem to forget is the 20 Underground Combat Leagues shows (where UFC champ Frankie Edgar got his start), the 14 Vengeance at the Vanderbilts (of which Matt Serra, Pete Sell and Phil Baroni are veterans), the five Empire State Warriors Challenges, the five Clash in the Cages, the three International Fight Nights, the four Martial Arts Madness's, the one Battle on Broadway and Aggressive Shoot Championship, and the eight or so events that have taken place on Indian Reservations in Upstate New York.  Have any of these shows been grand affairs to rival what the UFC/WEC/Strikeforce may bring to Madison Square Garden?  No, but they sure as hell count as MMA events.  (For a trip down memory lane, go here: http://mmajournalist.blogspot.com/2009/07/brief-history-of-underground-shows-in.html).

WEC 48 Payouts Revealed; Fighters Literally Make Peanuts

The California State Athletic Commission released the official payout numbers for those who competed on Saturday night's WEC 48: "Aldo vs. Faber" pay-per-view extravaganza, and to the surprise of many, it was revealed that the organization's fighters literally make peanuts. Topping the salary list was featherweight champ and pound-for-pound superstar Jose Aldo, who earned a whopping six bushels of peanuts, while promotional newcomer Chan Sung Jung - a.k.a. the "Korean Zombie", who went the distance with Leonard Garcia in a preliminary bout that aired live on SpikeTV - took in a single jar of generic peanut butter. "You won't hear me complaining," said former champ Mike Brown from his bed in a homeless shelter in Dade County, Florida. "A bushel is about 35 pounds, and I was given two of them even though I was knocked out by Manny Gamburyan. Do you know what you can trade 70 pounds of peanuts for? Smokes, clean socks, old Time magazines... you name it."

Controversial Judge Douglas Crosby Awards Jenna Jameson All Three Rounds

Controversy has once again reared its ugly head, this time with the news that, in a bout between Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz that occurred earlier in the day at the pair's Huntington Beach residence, the much-maligned cageside judge Douglas Crosby scored all three rounds in favor of the ex-pornstar. According to reports, the bout was so one-sided in Ortiz's favor that the Huntington Beach Police Department was called ("It wasn't even close," said a source), and the former UFC light-heavyweight champ was subsequently arrested. Nevertheless, Crosby - who took flack for scoring UFC 112's BJ Penn/Frankie Edgar tilt as 50-45 in Edgar's favor - saw Jameson as the winner over Ortiz 30-27. Said Crosby on a popular MMA message board, "It is a judge's obligation to interpret the fight and use the criteria as guidelines. But a fight is an observed event that does require interpretation, observation, wisdom. And, in my considered opinion, Jameson dictated the tone of the fight, successfully implemented and executed a strategy, landed better strikes, and basically outworked Ortiz." Given the hot water Crosby had already found himself in, his actions today could very well jeopardize whether he judges a domestic dispute ever again.

Observations from My Couch: WEC 48 "The Phantom Show"

• Yeah, yeah, I get that there couldn’t have been any mention of the WEC because of two different Zuffa brands having homes on two different networks.  But still, it felt like a George Orwell novel with Big Brother rewriting history, even if the show itself was doubleplusgood.
• Alex Karalexis has always been “meh”.  But thus far, Anthony Pettis has looked pretty “eh”.
• Chan Sung Jung and Leonard Garcia fought so hard in such an entertaining back-and-forth battle, they both should’ve been declared “The Ultimate Fighter” and awarded UFC contracts.
• Chan Sung Jung – wow!
• It was disappointing to see Antonio Banuelos lose, especially because now he must go back to life as a bandit who robs stagecoaches along the road outside of Santa Fe.
• Anthony Njokuani should really learn some grappling.  Just a thought.
• Anthony Morrison is tough, but I’m still not sold on Chad Mendes. 
• “Bad” Brad Pickett is one bad mofo for winning with a busted collarbone.  But where the hell did a Brit learn to wrestle like that?
• Props to Manny Gamburyan for the win, but that was not the same Mike Brown that took out Urijah Faber twice.  Not the same fighter at all.
• Damn, was Ben Henderson vs. Don Cerrone a non-event or what?  I was expecting fireworks.  Instead, we got a road flare.
• It was so painful watching Jose Aldo slowly amputate Faber’s leg that I was walking with a limp all day yesterday.

A Word About the UFC's Potential Afghanistan Show

It's being reported that the UFC's potential foray into Afghanistan (obviously a pretty hot warzone right now) might involve a high degree of danger for the members of the intrepid MMA promotion. To add a little color to that, MMA Journalist reached out to one of his buddies in the US Army Special Forces. Sergeant First Class "CM" is a Green Beret who's done a tour in Afghanistan, a tour in Iraq, returned to Iraq as a "civilian contractor" and will be returning to Afghanistan with his team later this year. His response when I asked him if Dana White and company are "going to get blowed up": "The chances are about zero. The bases are totally secure, multiple rings of security, locals are searched completely. They're like miniature cities. If you're on one, it doesn't even seem like you're in a combat zone, what with all the Wendy's, Pizza Huts, coffee shops, etc." In other words, unless Zuffa's setting up the Octagon at a forward observation base deep in Indian country, chances are everyone will be okay.

WEC 48: "Aldo vs. Faber" Fun Facts

Tomorrow night the WEC makes the leap from the Versus channel on premium cable to the realm of pay-per-view. Yes, pay-per-view, where money is either made or lost and a promotion finds out if it was a mistake signing Fedor to that million dollar contract. Well, the WEC doesn't have Fedor's price tag to worry about, so there's a possibility it may do okay. Anyway, here's some fun facts that I bet you didn't know!

• It's widely believed that reigning featherweight champ Jose Aldo is Brazilian, but that's a misconception. He's actually from Staten Island. We can't understand him because his "Guido" accent is so thick.
• Urijah Faber is descended from a species of aggressive rodent that dates back to the prehistoric era.
• In his spare time, Mike Brown likes to domestic alligators at his Florida home. The number of alligators he's successfully domesticated? Zero out of twenty attempts.
• Donald Cerrone's nickname may be "Cowboy", but he hates country music.
• Lightweight champ Ben Henderson is Dan Henderson's kid from a previous marriage.
• Anthony Njokuani's last name is actually a shorted version. It was originally Njokuanisngklsejgnbsluenei%2)8s2kii$@.
• A WEC pay-per-view has less calories than a normal UFC pay-per-view, but it still has that same great Zuffa taste.