James Irvin Tests Positive for Everything

James Irvin, who recently lost to Anderson Silva in the UFC middleweight champ's foray into the light-heavyweight division at UFN 14, has tested positive for everything according to a Nevada State Athletic Commission post-fight drug test. Known for his strong striking skills and recurring injuries, Irvin took the bout against Silva on relatively short notice. He now faces a fine and suspension pending a disciplinary hearing. Said NSAC bossman Keith Kizer, "Methadone, oxymorphone, ibuprofen, lidocaine, dextromethorphan, moonshine, Tylenol PM, SpaghettiOs - you name it, he tested positive for it." Added Kizer: "That's actually pretty impressive."

Observations from My Couch: UFN 14

- CB Dollaway finished Jesse Taylor in impressive fashion, punctuating a very exciting and memorable season of TUF. Um, not. - Kevin Burns defeated Anthony Johnson via bout-ending gouge to the eyes. Afterwards, Burns assured fans that he has a full arsenal of such techniques at his disposal, including the throat-bite, the groin-kick and the chair-busted-over-opponent's-head-when-opponent-isn't-looking. Expect big things from this future champ. - Frankie Edgar looked great controlling Hermes Franca with repeated takedowns. Unfortunately, Edgar's win will be tarnished when Franca tests positive for rollerskates in his post-fight drug screen. - Brandon Vera and Reese Andy clashed and... zzzzzzz... zzzzzz... *snore* zzzzz... - UFC middleweight monster Anderson Silva dispatched light-heavyweight James Irvin in a minute and one second. Why so quickly? Silva wanted to get home and watch Affliction on DVR.

Predictions for Affliction, UFC Fight Night 14 and DREAM

An MMA "superweekend" is upon us, as Affliction: "Banned" debuts on pay-per-view on Saturday night, UFC Fight Night 14 airs concurrently on SpikeTV, and DREAM's lightweight grand prix in Japan will conclude early Monday (for those of us checking out the play-by-play on Sherdog.com). MMA Journalist is breaking out its crystal ball to forecast what will happen at this veritable buffet of combat. - At Affliction, headliners Fedor Emelianenko and Tim Sylvia will clash in epic fashion. No one outside of MMA's hardcore fanbase will know the results, nor will they care. - At UFC Fight Night 14, middleweight champ Anderson Silva will have his hands full with light-heavyweight opponent James Irvin. Specifically, his hands will be full of the back of Irvin's neck as the Brazilian delivers a storm of bout-ending knees to Irvin's grill. - At UFC Fight Night 14, Frankie Edgar will go for a takedown at some point. Also, he will get it. - At Affliction, Mike Pyle, Antonio Rogerio Nogueira, Mike Whitehead and Matt Lindland will be paid in T-shirts adorned with designs of skulls, flames and other masculine things. - At UFC Fight Night 14, IFL expats Reese Andy, Rory Markham and Brad Blackburn will receive their paychecks, deposit them into their bank accounts, and be pleasantly surprised the checks don't bounce. You know, because that's what they're used to. - At DREAM, Eddie Alvarez will defeat his first Japanese opponent, but before he can compete in the final bout the promoters will make him complete the nigh-impossible "Ninja Warrior" obstacle course. He will do it.

Affliction Show to Register 6.5 Bodogs on the Fail-O-Meter

Bust out the Fail-O-Meter. Affliction: "Banned" will air on pay-per-view this Saturday opposite SpikeTV's UFC Fight Night 14, which means that: a) fight fans will have a chance to pay to see Fedor Emelianenko fight Tim Sylvia; b) fight fans will have a chance to see Anderson Silva destroy James Irvin on free TV; and, c) Affliction will make enough money to cover the cost of maybe 90 seconds of the Fedor/Sylvia bout, but everything after those 90 seconds and everything on the rest of the card is going to have to be written off as a financial loss. Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against Affliction, I'm thrilled they've put together a card of top fighters, and I wish them success. But reality has a way of slapping wanna-be UFCs (with a little money to burn and no viable revenue stream) in the face, and Affliction is going to get slapped pretty damn hard. Prediction: in terms of projected losses, someone will take a big hit on Saturday - and it ain't the UFC.