TUF 8 Analysis: Episode 10

Is it me or has coach Nogueira's English slightly improved? Anyway, TUF 8's tenth episode and the last of the quarterfinal match-ups - yahoo! But only a little Stankie - boo!

• John Polakowski loves to hug people. Unfortunately, that hugging is the extent of his grappling ability.
• This week the "prank of the night" was eating all the marshmallows in Polakowski's box of Lucky Charms. What, were the housemates out of urine?
• A one-handed George Roop was able to defeat a healthy Polakowski. That's got to be embarrassing.
• The semifinal match-ups are announced, and the preview for the next episode shows Junie Browning engaging in more shenanigans. Oh joy! Do us all proud, Junie!

TUF 8 Analysis: Episode 8

Another Wednesday night, another TUF 8 episode. Coach Mir grows more and more toolish, Stankie is kept off screen (aside from some crazy, old man gesticulating), and bodily fluids are consumed in "weird German porno" fashion.

• Fruit marinated in urine and sushi coated in man-chowder. Ugh. Why is it that whenever I hype an episode and tell all my friends to watch it, the gay stuff happens? Now everyone is avoiding me.
• Boiled duck fetuses? I guess for Phillipe Nover, fear is definitely not a factor.
• Junie Browning giving out tips on how to beat his teammate Dave Kaplan is only half of what he did. Although it wasn't shown, Browning also let the air out of the tires on Kaplan's dirt bike and ate his pillow.
• Nover hits very hard. So hard, in fact, that not only was Kaplan knocked silly enough to believe he was still the better fighter of the two afterwards, but coach Mir too was concussed into believing Kaplan was superior. I sincerely hope both Kaplan and Mir have since gotten MRIs and brain scans.

TUF 8 Analysis: Episode 6

Last night brought us the sixth episode of the TUF 8 season, and we were treated to Junie Browning finally putting his money where his mouth is, coach Mir being a douche, and... wait for it... wait for it... STANKIE!

• Team Noguiera boxing coach Stankie is the best thing to ever happen to SpikeTV. Shouting "Fight, fight, kill, kill!" was just the tip of the iceberg. I just know he was out in the parking lot afterwards smashing windshields with a tire iron, and I have it on good authority that when the Team Mir van was shuttling the fighters back to the TUF house, Stankie tried to run it off the road with his beat-up 1974 Dodge Charger.
• Browning may never know how close to death he came for spitting on that black belt. Word is that Anderson Silva was mad as hell, and to release some of his anger, went over to one of the hanging bags and kicked it. The bag burst into flames.
• Based on his striking and wrestling ability, there's no question Roli Delgado is a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt.
• Although he snagged the split decision, Browning did not impress with that performance. If he ever fights Phillipe Nover, Nover is going to take his head clean off.

TUF 8 Analysis: Episode 5

The fifth episode of TUF 8 saw a lot less alcohol consumption, a lot more of coach Nogueira speaking incoherently, and a quick fight between two light-heavyweights who belong in the minor leagues fighting for a cheap and tacky belt and bragging rights at the local Hooters.

• Junie Browning jumps the cage and threatens Efrain Escudero after Escudero's win. His punishment for this shameful outburst? Dana White shaking his head disapprovingly while simultaneously salivating over his new ticking time bomb/potential ratings goldmine. Frank Mir, please eat this guy already!
• The more I see Stankie stumbling around mumbling like that drunk Vietnam veteran uncle who everyone avoids at family gatherings, the more I like him. I predict the TUF kids are going to wake up one morning and find Stankie passed out on the lawn. That's just a hunch.
• Anderson Silva's guest appearance and subsequent sparring with the TUF kids made me think of a child casually batting around his GI Joe action figures. Only in that scenario, Silva would be the child's parent, and the TUF kids would be the discarded cardboard boxes the action figures came in.
• Coach Nogueira was very endearing going to the TUF house and asking the guys to lay off the pranks. He strikes me as the type of parent that shows up at school asking the bullies to please stop stuffing his son in a locker. Sadly, that always ends up with the son getting stuffed into a trash can instead.