Dean Lister Leaves UFC to Sell ShamWows

Abu Dhabi Combat Club grappling champ Dean Lister, who suffered only his second Octagon defeat in his bout against Yushin Okami at UFC 92, has been released by the organization to pursue a career in infomercials selling ShamWows (tm). It is believed the middleweight, who's beaten the likes of Jeremy Horn and Alessio Sakara in his long career, will be hawking a new line of highly-absorbant ShamWow rashguards and fightshorts, and that this move will prove to be a lucrative one for the San Diego native. "ShamWow washes, dries and polishes any surface," said Lister in a prepared statement. "It's like a towel, chamois and sponge all in one!"

What We Learned From Sengoku 7

Sengoku 7 - not quite Pride in its glory days, not quite an old Shooto event taking place in a gymnasium. Right on. So what did we learn?

• Dave Herman really needs to train for bouts longer than one round. Or at least run on a treadmill, ride a stationary bike or maybe swim to work or something. His cardio was suckeriffic.
• Antonio "Bigfoot" Silva prefers competing in Japan to being licensed to fight in the United States ever, ever again.
• Muhammed Lawal, a.k.a. "King Mo", gets more kingly and royal with each appearance. I predict his next ring entrance will entail him sitting upon a throne while two dozen tiny Japanese girls struggle to carry said throne from backstage to ringside.
• Jorge Santiago is one of the baddest middleweights around not good enough for the UFC.
• Takanori Gomi - phooey!

Update on Eddie Alvarez

I just received this text from Steve Haigh, Eddie Alvarez's trainer and cornerman, who was with the Philly superstar on New Year's Eve when Shinya Aoki defeated Alvarez via painful and potentially damaging heelhook. "He's walkin better and still a bit swollen but def needs an MRI done here. They only did an X-ray over there which we knew no bones were broken. That's Japan for ya." MMA Journalist wishes Alvarez a speedy recovery.

Josh Neer Tries to Outrun Boss Hogg, Fails

This just in from our correspondent in Hazzard County: UFC fighter Josh Neer tried to outrun Boss Hogg and Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane early Thursday in his modified 1969 Dodge Charger, but failed in his efforts, and is now under arrest and being held in the local jail. Neer, a well-known moonshiner around these parts, is slated to face TUF 7 winner Mac Danzig at UFC Fight Night 17 on February 7th. No word yet on if this arrest and detention will jeopardize that match-up. Said Flash, Sheriff Coltrane's Basset Hound, "Woof."

Eddie Alvarez Defeated By Sneaky Asian Devil

Vids are already circulating from this morning's K-1 Dynamite event in Japan, which featured a slew of typical freakshow bouts but also a few relevant match-ups - not the least of which was Eddie Alvarez vs. Shinya Aoki. And you know what? Alvarez lost, the victim of a painful and possibly damaging heelhook that forced him to tap out in just under two minutes. There is no question the Philadelphia slugger will be back. However, based on the video, and the hobbled Alvarez being helped backstage with an ice pack on his knee, there is a pretty big question as to whether he'll be able to compete at the January 24th Extreme Challenge in Atlantic City. Stay tuned for more info.

Al Iaquinta to Finally Turn Pro?

According to Ring of Combat's website, it looks as if longtime amateur competitor and unbridled fight stud Al Iaquinta has finally decided to turn pro and compete at ROC 23 on February 20th. Can it be? Will one of the toughest ammy's around - who parlayed serious wrestling skills and kickboxing chops into an extensive and flawless "MMA Little League" record - finally be taking the plunge? If so, me likey. For accomplished amateurs should, in theory, make for very capable pro fighters, and Iaquinta's resume and experience should have him making waves in the lightweight division in no time.

Observations from My Couch: UFC 92

• Cheick Kongo looked great in the cage. I also thought he was fantastic in "Gladiator" with Russel Crowe, he was solid in "Blood Diamond" opposite Leonardo DiCaprio, and he was the lone bright spot in "Never Back Down".
• I hated seeing Wanderlei Silva destroyed like that. Gone are his speed and overwhelming aggression. There's no denying Father Time has caught up with him.
• Reese Andy vs. Matt Hamill is the reason why watching wrestlers box makes me nauseous.
• Based on the extensive bandaging on Mike Massenzio's leg, I was sure he was channeling the powers of the Ancient Egyptian Mummy. Alas, it didn't work.
• Frank Mir. Believe it.
• Rashad Evans didn't just win by ground and pound, he won by GROUND AND POUND.

Rest In Peace Justin Eilers

Tragedy has struck yet again to the mixed martial arts community. Late Friday night UFC and EliteXC veteran Justin Eilers was shot and killed in an apparent domestic dispute at a family gathering in Idaho. I only knew Eilers from saying "hi" to him backstage when he fought Andrei Arlovski at UFC 53 at Boardwalk Hall, and I congratulated him when he won his headlining bout at World's Best Fighter. He seemed like a cool, no-nonsense dude who was definitely game in the ring. Rest in peace, Justin Eilers. You will be missed.

Pat Berry Looking to Break Out of Father's Shadow and Make Name for Himself

Tomorrow night's UFC will feature the debut of Pat Berry, a New Orleans-born heavyweight kickboxer and student of Ernesto Hoost. And while Berry will have all the usual weight an Octagon rookie has on his shoulders, he'll also be carrying a bit more. "It's tough being the son of someone famous," says Berry, whose father, Franken Berry, is the spokesperson for the well-known strawberry-flavored cereal of the same name. "I mean, people hear 'Berry' and they think breakfast. I need to change that. I want them to think UFC champ." Berry's first bout in the big show will be against Norwegian fighter Dan Evensen - a noted scrambled egg eater and enemy of sugar-sweetened cereals. "It doesn't bother me," says Berry. "I'm there to fight. I'm there to let the world know that Pat Berry can kick butt." Adds the K-1 and WCL veteran: "It ain't about food or my dad. It's about me."

Predictions for UFC 92: "Ultimate 2008"

The final UFC of the year and boy is it a doozy. The main card is star-studded and the under card is packed with more than a few top contenders - which is a pleasant departure from the often anemic cards the promotion has been putting out of late. Some predictions:

• In the contest for the light-heavyweight belt, the "Ultimate Fighter" will win.
• In the battle for the UFC Interim Heavyweight Championship, the smart money is on the guy with the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt.
• Who will come out on top in CB Dollaway vs. Mike Massenzio? My guess would be the wrestler. Yeah, the wrestler. Let's go with that one.
• Mustafa Al-Turk vs. Cheick Kongo? Go with the foreigner.
• I don't know who's going to emerge victorious in the Quinton Jackson/Wanderlei Silva match-up, but I can say that, win or lose, Jackson is most likely going to hear voices and behave erratically - and possibly drive his car onto the sidewalk.