Carlos Condit Injury So Grave an Entire WEC Weight Class is Scrapped

WEC welterweight champ Carlos Condit's rematch with Brock Larson has been scrapped due to injury, an injury so grave that the entire WEC 170-pound class has been scrapped because of it. "Mr. Condit suffered a tear in his 'Big Fish in a Little Pond' tendon," said a spokesperson for the organization, an organization that specializes in hobbit- to rodent-sized MMA athletes. "It's a serious injury, one that can irreparably damage a fighter's credibility, so Carlos - along with everyone else in the welterweight division - will have to prove their worth elsewhere. It's for their own safety." Condit has already been signed to face Marvin Kampmann at UFN 18 on April 1st, with the presumption being that a dose of Octagon medicine is just what the doctor ordered. MMA Journalist wishes the WEC champ a speedy recovery.

In Case of Riot, Hide Behind Bryan Vetell

This coming Saturday is "The Return of Macaco", a pro MMA event at Newark's Essex County College that features Jorge "Macaco" Patino, an old-school vale tudo legend, returning to combat to square up against Brandon Olsen of Montana - the main event on a card rich with Brazilian talent. In the co-main event, the massive IFL veteran Bryan Vetell takes on Steven Banks of South Carolina, while on the under card Marcus Rodrigues of Sao Paulo, Brazil, faces local boy Anthony Montanaro, Valter Roberto de Menezes of Sao Paulo faces Philadelphia's Lamont Lister, Flavio Roberto Alvaro of Sao Paulo faces Illinios' William Hill, and locals Jay Silva and Plinio Cruz will go at it. That's a lot of Brazilians, and it could translate into a night jam-packed with action. It could also translate into a decent-sized riot. Back in 1997, Renzo Gracie took on Eugenio Tadeau at a Rio de Janeiro event called Pentagon Combat, an event that degenerated into a chair-throwing, fighter-stabbing melee involving everyone in the place. And while MMA Journalist doesn't really expect The Return of Macaco to get as out of control, one mantra will be repeated silently throughout the night: in case of riot, hide behind Bryan Vetell.

Observations From My Couch: UFC 94

• I'm not sure what was more impressive: Clay Guida defeating a very tough Nate Diaz, or Clay Guida managing to thank every training partner, sponsor and Zuffa employee he's ever come in contact with in the short time allotted for his post-fighting interview.
• Was it me or was the last few minutes of the Karo Parisyan/Dong Hyun Kim bout nothing more than a judo match? I kept expecting the referee to shout out scores in Japanese like "Ippon!" or "Waza-ari!"
• Jon "GrecoRoman Airlines" Jones. When you absolutely, positively have to fly somewhere immediately.
• You know the Fates have conspired when every bout from the under card on up to the co-main event has gone to a decision and then Lyoto Machida of all people wins by first-round knockout.
• Georges St. Pierre vs. BJ Penn: a grim reminder as to why MMA has weight classes.

Nations Collide At UFC 94

UFC 94: "St. Pierre vs. Penn II" is this Saturday night, and as the title indicates, it's all about two nations colliding in the main event. Rematching after their exciting UFC 58 bout ended in a split decision are welterweight champ Georges St. Pierre from the northern country of Canada and lightweight champ BJ Penn from the Republic of Hawaii. It's a bout that promises action, errant elk and pineapples hurled with reckless abandon. "I will crush 'im again," says St. Pierre between gulps of maple syrup. "Count on it. Mr. Penn may worship a volcano and surf to and from the office every day, but his weird Hawaiian ways are no match for my sexually ambiguous relationship with my moose, Matilda." UFC 94 will take place at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, and will air live on pay-per-view.

Rest In Peace Helio Gracie

The Brazilian magazine TATAME is reporting that Grandmaster Helio Gracie, the 95-year-old patriarch of the Gracie clan and the founder of Gracie Jiu-Jitsu, has passed away. No details on the cause of death have been released. It is because of Grandmaster Helio's innovations and accomplishments in vale tudo that we have mixed martial arts today, and though we have lost a great warrior, there is no denying his legacy will live on forever. Rest in peace, Grandmaster Helio. And thank you.

Bellator Fighting Championships Signs Diego Marquez

Bellator Fighting Championships, the Latin-based mixed martial arts promotion that will air on ESPN Deportes, has just signed Diego Marquez to its eight-man lightweight tournament, according to a statement released by the fledgling organization. Marquez, the older cousin of Dora the Explorer, now joins the ranks of Eddie Alvarez and Jorge Masvidal in the 155-pound division. Amongst that level of competition, he will have his work cut out for him. "Diego Marquez is an eight-year-old rough and tumble action-adventure hero on the go," says Bellator FC CEO Bjorn Rebney. "An Animal Rescuer with an intense love of animals, Diego invites preschoolers to help him race to the rescue with a host of amazing gadgets and vehicles. Go, Diego, Go!" Expect the prerecorded BFC episodes to air in April.

Update: Saturday's Amateur Show in New Jersey Cancelled

That super-secret amateur show in New Jersey scheduled for Saturday, the CounterStrike Fighting Championship, has been cancelled. No reason has been given for the cancellation, although the event's lame name most likely had something to do with it.

Rumor: Phil Baroni Fighting in Ring of Combat in April

From the Unsubstantiated Rumor Department: Phil Baroni will return to action at Ring of Combat's April 17th event at the Tropicana Casino & Resort in Atlantic City. Lou Neglia is the promoter of ROC, and Baroni actually made his MMA debut at one of Neglia's shows - the now defunct Vengeance at the Vanderbilt on Long Island - about 50 years ago. No opponent has been named yet.

A Collection of News Haikus III

It's haiku time!

1. The UFC is/ planning to open gyms now. Please, /God, just kill me now.
2. Hermes Franca is/ out of his UFN bout./ He feared Lauzon's ears.
3. Affliction's payroll / was so huge, they now need a/ government bailout.
4. Fedor barely trained/ for his Affliction bout. Sucks/ to be Arlovski!
5. Amir Sadollah/ is injured again. I guess/ he ain't that TUF, huh?
6. Jen Pulver thinking/ of retiring? Don't do it,/ Jens. You're still the man.

Another Super-Secret MMA Show Coming Up

This just in: MMA Journalist's network of spies and clandestine operatives has just informed me of a super-secret amateur MMA show coming up. The event is the CounterStrike Fighting Championships, and it's slated for Saturday, January 31st at the Rahway Recreation Center. What's the card look like? Beats me! All the available info is here: http://counterstrikefc.com/eventinfo.html .