Observations From My Couch: TUF 9 Finale

• Based on Joe Rogan's commentary during the Joe Stevenson/Nate Diaz fight, I think I'm going to count that bout as a win for Nick Diaz.
• Ross Pearson and Andre Winner had the kind of battle fans only dream of. Literally. They dream of that kind of fight because they've fallen asleep with the TV on.
• Why does Kevin Burns hate Chris Lytle's nuts so much? Is there history there?
• Did DeMarques Johnson not train for the TUF 9 finale? Did he forget he had one more bout to go to be crowned "The Ultimate Fighter"?
• I don't know what was crazier - the fact that Diego Sanchez beat the hell out of Clay Guida, or the fact that Guida just kept coming and coming. Solid fight.

Observations From My Couch: UFC 95

• It's been a long time coming, but it was good to finally see Mike Ciesnolevicz in the Octagon.
• Per Eklund, Evan Dunham, Stefan Struve, Junior Dos Santos... I had no idea who they were before UFC 95, and after seeing them fight, I still have no idea who they are.
• What language was Terry Etim speaking? Romulan? Please don't put a microphone in his face again.
• Josh Koscheck. The best welterweight fighter out there capable of getting knocked out by anyone.
• Demian Maia looked great, but how much of that was Chael Sonnen sucking?
• Bravo to Dan Hardy for keeping the mohawk alive. Rock on, punky.
• Diego Sanchez had a decent win, but it wasn't awe-inspiring. His nickname should no longer be "the Nightmare". "The Fitful Dream" would be more apt.

Predictions for UFC 95: "Ultimate Joe-Silva-Not-Even-Trying-Anymore"

Man, the excitement for Saturday's UFC 95 star-studded gala event just builds and builds. MMA Journalist has popped a few Xanax to calm down and has formulated these predictions for the mega-super-ultra-uber-event:

• Josh Koscheck and Paulo Thiago are going to go at it and go at it hard, and I'll probably take this time to sit on the toilet and read the rest of "Blood in the Cage" by L. Jon Wertheim. Maybe I'll take a shower.
• Demian Maia and Chael Sonnen will battle. I think I'll use that time to watch an episode of the "West Wing" on DVR.
• Wilson Gouveia and Nate Marquardt should be a contest of wills and clash of styles. Another episode of "West Wing" on DVR, thank you very much.
• Dan Hardy and Rory Markham will square off in what could be an utter war. Chances are, though, that I will stare at the TV for about 20 seconds, realize I could be eating that leftover pad thai in the refrigerator, and remedy the situation.
• Diego Sanchez vs. Joe Stevenson could be a big ball full of "wow!" so I might actually watch this one at normal speed and not fast-forward (remember: I have DVR). We'll see. I might surf the Internet instead.

Free UFC 95 Card Worth Every Penny

This Saturday is UFC 95, another magnum opus from London, England broadcast for free on SpikeTV, and based on the line-up alone, this baby will clearly be worth every penny. In the main event, Diego Sanchez will pit his top-level submission skills against those of Joe "Worst Jiu-Jitsu Ever" Stevenson in what promises to a barn-burner (that is, a barn that you're currently living in, and when it catches fire all the animals panic and trample your stuff as you make your escape). In the co-main event... heck, I can't even tell which bout is the co-main event. They're all so worthy of that title! Josh Koscheck is fighting no one of importance, Rory "I've Only Fought in the UFC Once" Markham is taking on one of the Hardy Boys (I think it's the one with the long hair that fooled around with Nancy Drew on that class picnic), and Wilson Gouveia and Nate Marquardt are set to clash in a donnybrook that should determine who gets to eat at Applebee's for the next month and who's stuck eating ramen noodles. And the under card... wow. Just wow. The mere thought of fighters I've never heard of, like Stefan Struve and Evan Dunham and Brian Cobb, getting a crack at their share of Octagon glory... I'm so excited about it I can barely think straight. Hey, I know this UFC is free, but is there someplace I could just mail a check to? I'm going to feel like I'm robbing Zuffa on Saturday, and I don't know if I can live with that.

Thiago Alves to Face Opponent of Indeterminate Ethnic Origin

Things suddenly got more complicated for Thiago Alves. Originally scheduled to face Diego Sanchez at UFC 90 on October 25th, the American Top Team star welterweight will now square off against Josh Koscheck thanks to a rib injury Sanchez sustained in training - a last-minute change that definitely throws a monkey wrench in the works for the ATT fighter. "We trained to face a Mexican," says coach Ricardo Liborio. "But now... now what do we train for? A white guy? A black guy? This man is like 'Gonzo' from the Muppets. No one knows what he is!"