Predictions for UFC 95: "Ultimate Joe-Silva-Not-Even-Trying-Anymore"

Man, the excitement for Saturday's UFC 95 star-studded gala event just builds and builds. MMA Journalist has popped a few Xanax to calm down and has formulated these predictions for the mega-super-ultra-uber-event:

• Josh Koscheck and Paulo Thiago are going to go at it and go at it hard, and I'll probably take this time to sit on the toilet and read the rest of "Blood in the Cage" by L. Jon Wertheim. Maybe I'll take a shower.
• Demian Maia and Chael Sonnen will battle. I think I'll use that time to watch an episode of the "West Wing" on DVR.
• Wilson Gouveia and Nate Marquardt should be a contest of wills and clash of styles. Another episode of "West Wing" on DVR, thank you very much.
• Dan Hardy and Rory Markham will square off in what could be an utter war. Chances are, though, that I will stare at the TV for about 20 seconds, realize I could be eating that leftover pad thai in the refrigerator, and remedy the situation.
• Diego Sanchez vs. Joe Stevenson could be a big ball full of "wow!" so I might actually watch this one at normal speed and not fast-forward (remember: I have DVR). We'll see. I might surf the Internet instead.

Observations from My Couch: TUF 8 Finale

• Is it me or did Dave Kaplan look like the late Evan Tanner's miniature clone?
• Admittedly, Junie Browning did show a lot of skill and talent. As long as he's not acting like a douchebag, he's actually kind of likable.
• Wilson Gouveia TKO'd the heck out of Jason MacDonald - a feat made less impressive by the fact that Gouveia failed to make weight. That five-pound weight difference really is an unfair advantage. I mean, anyone can knock anyone out when they weigh five pounds more.
• Anthony Johnson's knockout of Kevin Burns was indeed sweet justice, but when he knelt over the fallen Burns and carved out his eyeball with a pocket knife... I'm sorry,but that was excessive.
• I was deathly afraid that Ryan "The Human Blanket" Bader was going to show up. I was pleased that it was Ryan "The Punch People in the Head So Hard They Do Cartwheels" Bader that we all got to see.
• Efrain Escudero fought a smart fight against Phillipe Nover. Nover will be back. No doubt about it.