Predictions for UFC 93: "Franklin vs. Henderson vs. Leprechauns"

UFC 93: "Franklin vs. Henderson" goes down tomorrow night in Dublin, Ireland - the land of Guinness, floozies, leprechauns and floozies. Woot! Here are some predictions:

• A takedown will, at some point, be attempted in the Mark Coleman/Mauricio "Shogun" Rua match-up. Yeah, that's a given.
• As a devout Christian, Rich Franklin is bound to mention God if he wins. As a Native American heathen savage, Dan Henderson's victory speech will mention Great Spirit.
• Rousimar Palhares will be kept in a cage in the locker room before his bout, and regardless of whether or not he wins or loses, he will return to that same cage afterwards. Because, you know, he's well-trained (poo-flinging aside).
• If, by the third round, it seems that Marcus Davis and Chris Lytle's "Fight of the Night" bonus is in jeopardy, the two have agreed to simply just charge each other and butt heads like rams. This will end up happening, and the true loser of the event will be the janitor who has to clean that mess up.
• Someone in the audience will get drunk. And throw up. Hey, it is Dublin after all.

UFC 93 Fun Facts

On Saturday, January 17th, the UFC returns to Ireland for UFC 93: "Guinness-Flavored Vomit" (cue festive Irish jig music). Anyhoo, here are some fun facts concerning the Dan Henderson/Rich Franklin-headlined event:

• In the build-up to the main event, Dan Henderson and Rich Franklin have played up the fact that they're indifferent toward each other. In fact, they've never met, and for years Franklin thought Henderson was Matt Lindland.
• Mark Coleman and Mauricio "Shogun" Rua are rematching after their Pride fight ended with Shogun badly dislocating his elbow. Their respective corners will also be rematching afterwards backstage, with someone standing on Wanderlei Silva's neck and Silva threatening to beat up Phil Baroni, Quinton Jackson and anyone else nearby.
• Denis Kang is really a future version of Doctor Doom. He's here in this timeline thanks to a time machine.
• Rousimar Palhares was raised in the jungles of the Amazon by a clan of uacari monkeys.
• Marcus Davis and Chris Lytle have a gentleman's agreement to only punch each other in the face until they're concussed and brain damaged.

Things That Won't Happen at UFC 89

UFC 89. Birmingham, England. SpikeTV. Yeah, right on. Anyway, the following is a list of things that definitely won't happen at the Michael Bisping/Chris Leben headlined event.

1. Chris Leben will not win by omoplata.
2. Michael Bisping will not say anything after the bout that an American will be able to understand.
3. Brandon Vera will not do a victory dance resembling the Cha-Cha or the Charleston. Sadly.
4. Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou will not utilize a cloaking device or shoulder-mounted laser.
5. Marcus Davis will not thank the Irish Republican Army for their war against the British.
6. Chris Lytle will not get cut and bleed profusely. Oh, forget that one. He's going to be spurting blood simply from walking to the cage.