Observations From My Couch: UFC 102

• Brandon Vera won because of his vastly superior striking skills, but he also had the advantage over Krzysztof Soszynski because of his name. Seriously, who doesn't prefer saying "Vera" over "Soszynski"?
• Who was that Jake Rosholt? He was a lot more exciting and capable than the one-dimensional Jake Rosholt we'd seen previously.
• By the way he came in throwing kicks and got totally messed up by a single punch, you could tell Demian Maia is a fantastic jiu-jitsu guy.
• Todd Duffee seems tough, but he needs to face someone who won't get knocked out by a jab.
• Ed Herman: the next in a long line of TUFers who belong in the minor leagues.
• How on Earth was Evan Dunham vs. Marcus Aurelio a split decision? That one wasn't even close.
• It's time for the "Dean of Mean" to hang up the gloves and go back to academia.
• Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira looked great - maybe the best ever. Randy Couture looked old - maybe the oldest ever.

TUF 8 Analysis: Episodes 11 & 12

The last two episodes were aired back to back, and they featured the final four match-ups to decide who makes it to the finale. Stankie more or less remained on the back burner for them, which is just as well, as Junie Browning was there to satisfy the "crazy" quotient.

• Ryan Bader is nonstop excitement and in his bout with Eliot Marshall he showed a wide range of mixed martial arts skills.
• Good Lord am I kidding. That performance was all suck, all the time.
• How well-rounded is Phillipe Nover? After tapping George Roop out with a kimura, he gave Roop a post-fight medical examination in the locker room - and then prescribed him pain medication for his shoulder!
• Krzysztof Soszynski introduced an interesting formula. He stated that one punch turns a jiu-jitsu black belt into a brown belt, and one combination can turn that same fighter into a white belt. What does a kick turn that black belt into? A purple belt? What about a knee to the midsection? A judo throw? An elbow to the jaw?
• I don't know what's worse: Browning's disgraceful actions in the house or Dana White's disgraceful decision to let him stay.
• The episode ended with coach Nogueira shaving coach Mir's head. This little bit of hairstyling coupled with White's "beat him off" comment is why TUF night is huge in gay bars across the nation.

TUF 8 Analysis: Episode 9

The ninth episode of the season means we're winding down with all the outside storylines of where the fighters came from and why they're raging alcoholics. Thank God. TUF excels when it's all about which fighters are the best and which fighters suck. I could care less that Junie Browning lives in a trailer and Ryan Bader is wanted in three states for cattle rustling.

• According to those who saw advance copies, episode nine was supposed to feature Dave Kaplan and Tom Lawlor drinking each other's urine, but SpikeTV wisely edited that out for the broadcast. Accent on the word "wisely", folks.
• Kaplan wasn't lying when he said he couldn't be knocked out. However, he omitted the fact that he's narcoleptic. When Lawlor socked him on the jaw, Kaplan actually fell asleep. No lie.
• Every household item moved into Krzysztof Soszynski's room? Every plate and spoon and fork on the basketball court? Those are the lamest pranks ever. In my day, decent pranks ended with a body count. Damn kids...
• Not only does Frank Mir stink at soccer, but he stinks at losing too.
• After having to face the vastly more-experienced Ben Rothwell twice in the IFL, Soszynski has definitely earned a few easy fights. We'll mark off his TUF bout against Kyle Kingsbury as one of the easy ones.

TUF 8 Analysis: Episode 7

The seventh episode of TUF 8, blah, blah, blah. Eccentric assistant coach Stankie was very subdued this week, as prior to filming he'd spent a few nights in Clark County Jail for bringing a live grenade into famed strip joint Spearmint Rhino. Hey man, it wasn't like he was going to pull the pin or anything.

• Coach Mir's victory speech to Junie Browning consisted of a lot of "Dude, you suck!" and a tiny bit of "But congrats anyway". Interesting coaching style, buddy.
• Running on a treadmill with a scuba mask on and diving into a giant ice bath? Last night, Wanderlei Silva was sitting in his living room with his conditioning coach, and they were laughing their asses off at the young fighters tricked into taking part in these elaborate pranks disguised as "cutting-edge training methods".
• Why is Shane Nelson getting camera time? Didn't he already get beat? He should be out mowing a lawn somewhere.
• Okay, let me get this straight: Krzysztof Soszynski requests a body bag and the producers don't flip out? Come on. You just know Dana White got a phone call on that one.
• Fiery Brazilian drama between Coach Nogueira and Vinicius Magalhaes alert! Woot-woot! Someone is defintely getting stabbed with one of those giant meat skewers they use at churrascarias.
• Vinny's fight against Jules Bruchez was a solid ten on the "meh" meter.

TUF 8 Analysis: Episode 3

Last night was the third episode of the TUF 8 season, which, based on what we've seen thus far, is a season that will entail a lot of action, coach Nogueira speaking and us not understanding him, and enough drunken antics to make even the most hardened alcoholic say, "Jeez, guys, chill out."

• All your booze belong to Junie Browning. All your stupidity, too.
• Al "Stankie" returns! Few may remember a non-English-speaking Vitor Belfort crying out "Stankie? Stankie?" after he won UFC 12. Ah, the good old days.
• Coach Nogueira thinks some of his guys should open a restaurant based on their cooking skills. In the extra footage that will be available on the TUF 8 DVD, coach Mir takes Krzysztof Soszynski aside and says that, based on his wrapping skills, he should work for UPS.
• Ryan Bader and Tom Lawlor made for a good fight. Seriously. They came to throw down.

TUF 8 Analysis: Episode 1

Last night saw the season eight premiere of "The Ultimate Fighter" on SpikeTV, a season dubbed "Team Nogueira vs. Team Mir" that requires captions whenever the Brazilian coach speaks. Excellent. I think the Zuffa and SpikeTV are prepping viewers for a future season where no one speaks any English and contestants live in a big hut deep in some distant jungle. A few things gleaned from the first episode:

• There are rumors that when the DVD of this season comes out, viewers will be able to remove the blurriness that obscured Jason Guida's junk when he was rolling around in his towel.
• Krzysztof Soszynski is an IFL veteran with an 15-8-1 according to Sherdog.com. Does this guy really need to be on TUF facing noobs like Mike Stewart? I think there's a SpikeTV producer out there pulling the strings, and he's got a very dangerous sense of humor.
• Phillipe Nover fainted not from the heat or dehydration, but because he was in the presence of Dana White. Nover has a history of fainting in the presence of superstars; he was backstage at a Barbara Streisand concert and accidentally ran into Babs herself by the vending machine. Boom! Out cold.
• Why you got to knee Brian McLaughlin in the grill when he's on the ground? Not cool, man. Not cool.
• Junie Browning vs. Jose Aguilar was a battle between the douchebag and the dipshit. The fans lose in these match-ups every single time.