Observations from My Couch: UFC 90

• Sean Sherk and Tyson Griffin fought a fantastic fight. However, it was extremely disturbing to hear Randy Couture cursing like a sailor in Griffin's corner. Extremely disturbing.
• What is Rich Clementi? He's crafty. Crafty. I don't know why that's stuck in my head. Oh wait, yes I do - it's because Joe Rogan said it two billion times.
• Thiago Alves could very well demolish Georges St. Pierre.
• Anderson Silva is the nicest guy in the world. After all, he did carry Patrick Cote for two rounds in their championship bout.

Patrick Cote: "Wait, I'm Fighting Who?"

Patrick Cote was finally told yesterday that his UFC 90 opponent is none other than middleweight champ Anderson Silva, a fact that was kept from the Canadian slugger since he signed the generic bout agreement months ago. Cote was reportedly kept in the dark by his management team because no one in their right mind would want to get in the cage with the man who destroyed former champ Rich Franklin twice and made short work of Pride champ Dan Henderson. Standing behind the podium at a press conference when he heard the news, Cote at first seemed shocked, then became dismayed. "Wait, I'm fighting who?" he said before throwing his UFC cap to the ground and storming off the stage. "Yeah, we didn't tell him who he was fighting," said Muay Thai trainer Mark DellaGrotte. DellaGrotte worked with Cote on possible strategies for the UFC 90 bout, including the "go fetal and cry" maneuver and the "tap out really, really fast" technique, and though DellaGrotte was successful in keeping the opponent's identity a secret, he feels strongly about Cote's chances. "If he does what we practiced, he may make it out of the cage alive. Unconscious, but alive." UFC 90 airs Saturday night on pay-per-view, and in addition to the Silva/Cote bout, it features a welterweight match-up between Thiago Alves and Josh Koscheck.

Exclusive: Foosball Table Not Happy with Upcoming TUF 8 Season

The eighth season of "The Ultimate Fighter" is nearly upon us, and it brings with it all the usual pre-show hype and promises of excitement. However, not everyone is happy with this upcoming edition of the hit reality TV series. Last season, the TUF house's foosball table was dumped into the pool during an episode of drunken mayhem; MMA Journalist caught up with that foosball table to get its thoughts on the new season. MMA Journalist: How you doing? Foosball Table: I'm doing good. MMA Journalist: You've been a permanent fixture in the TUF house for a while now and you've seen things from a very different perspective than those watching at home. What are your thoughts on this season? Foosball Table: I think it sucked. Not because of anything to do with the fights or the drama or whatever, but because I'm sick of being in constant fear for my life. MMA Journalist: Fear for your life? Foosball Table: Yeah. You have no idea what it's like to be a piece of furniture in that house cooped up with those guys - very physical guys who at any moment could snap and turn around and smash you. That's no way to live, man. MMA Journalist: But I thought Dana White said that whoever trashes the house this season would have to pay for the damages? Didn't that make things safer for you? Foosball Table: Um, not so much. I mean, regardless of who's footing the bill, the producers are still stocking the place with liquor and it's still always my ass on the line once the booze starts flowing. Did you know Forrest Griffin threw up in me during the filming of season five? The dude wasn't even staying at the house! Did you know Nate Diaz tried to smoke me? And I'm not even going to tell you what Patrick Cote did to my goalie! MMA Journalist: Wow. Sounds rough. Foosball Table: 'Rough' is an understatement. MMA Journalist: Well, thanks for your time. Foosball Table: No problem.