Miller Brothers to Stake Their Claim on the UFC's Lightweight and Middleweight Divisions

Trainer/manager Mike Constantino of the AMA Fight Club in New Jersey announced today that Jim and Dan Miller have been signed by the UFC. With flawless wrestling and top-notch submission skills, Jim has cut a swath through the Northeast's lightweights. He's won a slew of championship belts, and has wins over the likes of Chris Liguori and Bart Palaszewski. Older brother Dan - also a grappling stud - has done much of the same in the 185-pound weightclass, with his kneebar win over Miletich-trained Ryan McGivern garnering him the IFL title. How good are these guys? At the news that they were graduating to the UFC, the Northeast's lightweights and middleweights breathed a collective sigh of relief. Believe it, baby.

Observations from My Couch: Affliction "Banned"

- Matt Lindland edged out Brazilian newcomer Fabio "Negao" Nascimento for the unanimous decision win after a grueling three-round fight, which served to remind fans yet again that the "Law" is boring as hell. Boring. As. Hell. - Megadeth? Really? - Antonio Rogerio Nogueira, Mike Pyle, Babalu, Mark Hominick and Vitor Belfort all scored victories by various means. According to the promoter, they will all fight champ Fedor Emelianenko simultaneously at the next event. Pyle and Hominick are even allowed to bring guns. - Megadeth? Seriously? - Josh Barnett's KO of Pedro Rizzo was a thing of beauty, and avenged Barnett's 2001 loss to the Brazilian slugger. Rizzo now must return Barnett's collection of Robotech: "The Macross Saga" DVDs and life-size Gundam replica. - Andre Arlovski crushed Ben Rothwell's soul. That's it. Nothing more needs to be said. - Megadeth? Really? This isn't some sort of joke? - Fedor's bout with Tim Sylvia lasted only 36 seconds. Why so quick? Fedor wanted to get back home so he could watch UFC Fight Night 14 on DVR.

Observations from My Couch: UFN 14

- CB Dollaway finished Jesse Taylor in impressive fashion, punctuating a very exciting and memorable season of TUF. Um, not. - Kevin Burns defeated Anthony Johnson via bout-ending gouge to the eyes. Afterwards, Burns assured fans that he has a full arsenal of such techniques at his disposal, including the throat-bite, the groin-kick and the chair-busted-over-opponent's-head-when-opponent-isn't-looking. Expect big things from this future champ. - Frankie Edgar looked great controlling Hermes Franca with repeated takedowns. Unfortunately, Edgar's win will be tarnished when Franca tests positive for rollerskates in his post-fight drug screen. - Brandon Vera and Reese Andy clashed and... zzzzzzz... zzzzzz... *snore* zzzzz... - UFC middleweight monster Anderson Silva dispatched light-heavyweight James Irvin in a minute and one second. Why so quickly? Silva wanted to get home and watch Affliction on DVR.

Point/Counterpoint: Fedor is God/Fedor is not God

Point: Fedor is God - Holy moley! Can you believe how fast Fedor Emelianenko wrecked former UFC champ Tim Sylvia at Saturday night's Affliction: "Banned" event? Thirty-six seconds and the giant from Maine was bloody and tapping. The Russian sambo player and Pride champ was large and in charge from beginning to end. Wow! If they ever meet in the ring, I'm not sure Randy Couture could defeat him. Clearly, Fedor is God. Counterpoint: Fedor is not God - Whatevs, bro. Fedor ain't no God. At most he's a minor diety. Like Ares or Thor or something.

Predictions for Affliction, UFC Fight Night 14 and DREAM

An MMA "superweekend" is upon us, as Affliction: "Banned" debuts on pay-per-view on Saturday night, UFC Fight Night 14 airs concurrently on SpikeTV, and DREAM's lightweight grand prix in Japan will conclude early Monday (for those of us checking out the play-by-play on Sherdog.com). MMA Journalist is breaking out its crystal ball to forecast what will happen at this veritable buffet of combat. - At Affliction, headliners Fedor Emelianenko and Tim Sylvia will clash in epic fashion. No one outside of MMA's hardcore fanbase will know the results, nor will they care. - At UFC Fight Night 14, middleweight champ Anderson Silva will have his hands full with light-heavyweight opponent James Irvin. Specifically, his hands will be full of the back of Irvin's neck as the Brazilian delivers a storm of bout-ending knees to Irvin's grill. - At UFC Fight Night 14, Frankie Edgar will go for a takedown at some point. Also, he will get it. - At Affliction, Mike Pyle, Antonio Rogerio Nogueira, Mike Whitehead and Matt Lindland will be paid in T-shirts adorned with designs of skulls, flames and other masculine things. - At UFC Fight Night 14, IFL expats Reese Andy, Rory Markham and Brad Blackburn will receive their paychecks, deposit them into their bank accounts, and be pleasantly surprised the checks don't bounce. You know, because that's what they're used to. - At DREAM, Eddie Alvarez will defeat his first Japanese opponent, but before he can compete in the final bout the promoters will make him complete the nigh-impossible "Ninja Warrior" obstacle course. He will do it.

Celebrity Gossip Site On Top of MMA World News

This just in! Famed celebrity gossip website TMZ.com is reporting that former UFC light-heavyweight champ Quinton "Rampage" Jackson has been arrested for felony hit and run in California. Sources on the scene say that Rampage, while hopped up on goofballs, chased by paparazzi and on the phone with hotel heiress Paris Hilton, drove his monster truck over Lindsay Lohan's lawn (crushing three Tiffany's garden gnomes in the process) then struck two parked cars before police were able to catch up with him. LAPD officers allegedly zapped the UFC star with tasers and beat him with nightsticks while shouting racial epithets. Said "Friends" actress Jennifer Aniston: "Oh, it's horrible." Stay tuned for more as TMZ.com reports the unbiased news to us.

Affliction Show to Register 6.5 Bodogs on the Fail-O-Meter

Bust out the Fail-O-Meter. Affliction: "Banned" will air on pay-per-view this Saturday opposite SpikeTV's UFC Fight Night 14, which means that: a) fight fans will have a chance to pay to see Fedor Emelianenko fight Tim Sylvia; b) fight fans will have a chance to see Anderson Silva destroy James Irvin on free TV; and, c) Affliction will make enough money to cover the cost of maybe 90 seconds of the Fedor/Sylvia bout, but everything after those 90 seconds and everything on the rest of the card is going to have to be written off as a financial loss. Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against Affliction, I'm thrilled they've put together a card of top fighters, and I wish them success. But reality has a way of slapping wanna-be UFCs (with a little money to burn and no viable revenue stream) in the face, and Affliction is going to get slapped pretty damn hard. Prediction: in terms of projected losses, someone will take a big hit on Saturday - and it ain't the UFC.

BCX 5 Notes

Battle Cage Xtreme had their fifth event on Saturday night, and with seven belts on the line, the event provided a healthy dose of ass-kickery. Some notes: -Joey Camacho absolutely crushed Micah Goss, proving yet again that he's more than capable of bringing the fury. A post-fight Goss looked like he'd been in a car wreck. -The unbreakable Don Wagner, old school warrior Joey Brown and last-minute replacement Andrew Montanez all fought their hearts out right up to the final bell, despite being on the losing end earlier on. You gotta love it. -Why can't Kevin Roddy ever get a split decision to go his way? He's so damn talented and skilled. Props to Dwayne Shelton for not getting caught by the K-Rod sub machine. -Jon Jones is good but he still needs to be tested. Someone like Brendan Barrett, Costa Phillippou or Ricardo Romero won't be overwhelmed by Jones' speed and athleticism. -Tim Troxell looked great (as usual) but Lester Caslow was pretty impressive for hanging in there, and he even had the Trox rocked at one point. On paper, I thought this would've been a mismatch, but Caslow proved he belonged. -Joe Abouata exposed Carlton Haselrig as a one-dimensional wrestler. Oh wait, we already knew that. Well, Abouata looked fantastic either way.

Underground Combat League: "Apocalypse"

The Underground Combat League's latest installment was last night, and the event - dubbed "Apocalypse" - featured impressive performances by Josh Candon, Chaz Dimitropoulos, Marwin Roque and Kirkland Campbell. A Fox News camera crew was on hand to document the evening.

Things That Won't Happen at BCX 5

Battle Cage Xtreme's fifth outing will grace the Tropicana Casino & Resort on Saturday night with its brand of premiere local MMA action, and no less than seven championship belts are on the line. However, in a sport where almost anything can happen, at BCX 5 there are a few things that definitely won't. For example: -Carlton Haselrig will not win via omoplata. Nope. No sir. -Hercules Benjamin will not throw a spinning back kick. At least, not successfully. -Carlos Eduardo's cornermen will not, at any point, shout anything in English. Except maybe curse words. -Joey Brown will not turn to his traditional full contact karate background and perform a kata. -Jon Jones will not not throw any punches, nor will he not not attempt to suplex his opponent. I guarantee it. -Joey Camacho will not forego takedown attempts in lieu of just getting his opponent to the ground via gestures and harsh language. -Kevin Roddy will not snag an armbar when Dwayne Shelton is in his guard. Unless he wants to. Then it's his.