Sheik Dana Al-Whitefa Considering Gina Carano for WEC

Reports have surfaced today that Sheik Dana Al-Whitefa may be considering allowing superstar female fighter Gina Carano to compete in the WEC - a move that would be contrary to the devout Muslim teachings Sheik Al-Whitefa has previously espoused. In a recent interview with Yahoo Foreign Minister Kevin Iolaziz, Sheik Al-Whitefa was quoted as saying, "The cage is no place for a woman. Praise be to Allah." Allowing Carano into the WEC would, without question, be a radical shift from that viewpoint, although one that may be warranted given Carano's immense popularity. As of this writing, it's not known when Carano would make her WEC debut, but it is known that as a condition of her participation, the former EliteXC fighter would have to wear a traditional Muslim burqa with a veil concealing her eyes. Any violation would be met with immediate stoning.

ROC 22 Fun Facts

Lou Neglia's Ring of Combat 22 is this Friday at the Tropicana Casino & Resort in Atlantic City, and the Garden State promotion will feature three championship contests atop a card full of tough East Coast fighters. But just who are the men competing at ROC 22? MMA Journalist has delved beyond the records and cold statistics and compiled the following list of fun fighter facts:

• Constantino Phillippou, from Team Serra/Longo, served 11 years in the French Foreign Legion. His nickname was "Constantino Phillippou".
• Rob Guarino, of the Rhino Fight Team, once shot a man in Reno - just to watch him die.
• Igor Gracie used to work for his uncle, Dr. Frankenstein Gracie, during summers. He eventually left that laboratory assistant position to pursue jiu-jitsu.
• Jim Boudourakis, of Redboy BJJ, had his last name legally shortened. It was originally "Boudourakis-Boudourakis-Rah-Rah-Rah, Boudourakis-Boudourakis-Rah-Rah-Rah". His parents met on the professional cheerleading circuit.
• Joe Abouata, of Alex Wilkie's Martial Arts Academy, defeated Carlton Haselrig at the last BCX. Haselrig's pelt now hangs above his mantelpiece.
• Team Tiger Schulmann's Nick Pace is actually comprised of the parts of various other lesser Team Tiger Schulmann fighters.
• Chris Liguori has a twin brother named Emmit Liguori, who favors spending time in libraries reading the classics and talking philosophy. Chris still beats him up regularly.

Strikeforce is the New Black

You can tell when reality has set in when people start aiming lower. If you go over to http://FiveOuncesofPain.com, there's a post up talking about a new East Coast promotion called the World Cagefighting Alliance, which will debut on February 6th at Boardwalk Hall in Atlantic City and "will adopt the same business model as Strikeforce". Strikeforce, eh? I guess the days of organizations trying to be the next UFC are gone - which isn't exactly a bad thing, as so many of these wanna-bes have crapped the bed and left disappointed fighters and fans in their wake. But Strikeforce's success as a super-regional West Coast show is definitely a realistic goal for anyone with a competent staff and viable product. Heck, even veteran promoter Monte Cox has claimed he aspires his Adrenaline promotion to be the "Strikeforce of the Midwest". I guess Strikeforce is the new black.

Which Other Pro Wrestlers Could Succeed in MMA?

Former WWE star Brock Lesnar is now the UFC's heavyweight champ. (Breathe, breathe, it'll be okay. It's not the end of the world. Breathe.) In light of this shocking development, MMA Journalist has culled through the rosters of various professional wrestling organizations and compiled a list of who else might find success in the sport of mixed martial arts.

1. King Stupid, of the World Complete Wrestling Association - A trademarked finishing hold called "Eat My Scepter" is what sets King Stupid apart from the rest, and his royal physique and legion of followers means he'd be in line for a shot at the UFC's heavyweight title (after a tune-up bout against someone along the lines of Josh Hendricks, of course).
2. The Retard Kid, of the Alabama Wrasslin' Alliance - With a knack for eating folding folding chairs (literally) and drooling on audience members, the Retard Kid would give someone like Bobby Southworth or Renato Sobral fits and make a decent addition to Strikeforce's light-heavyweight division.
3. Sal Monilla, of the Garden State Goomba League - Sal Monilla's ring entrances involve him tossing out handfuls of cooked pasta and raw chicken. Definitely an Adrenaline middleweight in the making.
4. The Masked Burrito, of the Idiota Lucha Libre Administracion - No one knows what the Masked Burrito looks like. However, they most certainly know when he's eaten a fair amount of beans and guacamole. The UFC heavyweight division. No question.
5. Madame Fajina, of the Glamorous Lesbians of Wrestling - A man-hater of epic proportions, Madame Fajina... Hey, wait a second...
6. Captain Miniscule, of the International Midget Wrestling Organization - The name says it all. And if he wanted to, Captain Miniscule could give WEC champ Mike Brown a run for his money.

Mark Cuban Charged with Insider Trading - Who Will Put Together Fedor vs. Couture Now?

MMA Journalist has just learned that Dallas Mavericks owner and HDNet Fights founder Mark Cuban has been charged with insider trading by the Securities Exchange Commission. The allegations stem from his sale of Xyience stock, a sale which immediately preceded the supplement company's crash and burn. Cuban is best known to MMA fans as the man who promised to put together the dream bout between Fedor Emelianenko and Randy Couture - a match-up that is now in jeopardy thanks to these legal developments. If convicted, Cuban could face two years in the TUF house, drinking urine and splooging on sushi.

Brock Lesnar Tests Positive for Gamma Rays

Hot on the heels of Brock Lesnar's dramatic UFC 91 TKO victory over Randy Couture comes news that the freshly-minted champ has failed his post-fight drug screening, with the 275-pound former WWE star testing positive for gamma rays. "According to state guidelines, a fighter is tested for gamma rays, cosmic rays, radioactive spider venom, and midi-chlorians," says Nevada State Athletic Commission Maestro Keith Kizer. "Lesnar's urinalysis revealed that he has an exceedingly high-level of gamma rays in him. That's a clear violation." No word yet on what this may mean for belt, but the new champ issued this statement: "Grrrr. Lesnar smash."

Observations from My Couch: UFC 91

• Sometimes the UFC rewards a fighter for all his hard work. On Saturday night, Gabriel Gonzaga's reward was tomato can Josh Hendricks.
• I don't know what was scarier: Dustin Hazelett's flawless jiu-jitsu transitions, or his Amish "Wrath of an Angry Old Testament God" beard.
• Jeremy Stephens hit Rafael dos Anjos so hard, he changed Rafael's last name to "uno Anjos".
• Kenny Florian's fight with Joe Stevenson wasn't so much a fight as it was a rape. In fact, in his post-bout medical screening, the Nevada State Athletic Commission had Stevenson take a pregnancy test.
• Brock Lesnar defeated Randy Couture. A WWE wrestler is now the UFC Heavyweight Champ. Excuse me while I go cry in my morning oatmeal.

"Barncat" Hopes UFC 91 Win Will Enable Him to Live in Actual House

With winter just around the corner, Tamdan McCrory is counting on a win at UFC 91 - and it's not because a "W" would propel him further up the welterweight rankings. No, the well-rounded scrapper, whose quick rise to the top of the East Coast rankings garnered him a berth in the UFC after only a year of competition, is hoping a victory against opponent Dustin Hazelett will provide him with the cash needed to move into an actual house. "They call me the 'Barncat' because I live in a barn," says McCrory while picking hay from his hair. "Do you have any idea how cold it gets in a barn in January? It gets pretty damn cold." McCrory's only brush with defeat came at UFC 78 against Akihiro Gono, and he has since defeated the tough Luke Cummo. Does he have the tools to withstand Hazelett's jiu-jitsu attack? "Tools? Dude, I live in barn. I got all sorts of tools." UFC 91 airs Saturday night on pay-per-view, and features some wrestling dudes in the main event.

MMA Journalist News Haiku Roundup

It's been a busy week for news. Here are some haiku to bring you up to speed, courtesy of MMA Journalist:

• Todd Beard likes to yell/ and make threats. Kim Couture likes/ restraining orders.
• Showtime is footing/ the bill for Affliction's next/ show. Boy, are they dumb.
• Dana White changes/ his mind on women fighting./ Benjamins, baby!
• Whoever wins the/ KenFlo-Stevenson bout gets/ to be killed by Penn.
• Randy Couture is/ apparently very old. / Has that ever mattered?

TUF 8 Analysis: Episode 9

The ninth episode of the season means we're winding down with all the outside storylines of where the fighters came from and why they're raging alcoholics. Thank God. TUF excels when it's all about which fighters are the best and which fighters suck. I could care less that Junie Browning lives in a trailer and Ryan Bader is wanted in three states for cattle rustling.

• According to those who saw advance copies, episode nine was supposed to feature Dave Kaplan and Tom Lawlor drinking each other's urine, but SpikeTV wisely edited that out for the broadcast. Accent on the word "wisely", folks.
• Kaplan wasn't lying when he said he couldn't be knocked out. However, he omitted the fact that he's narcoleptic. When Lawlor socked him on the jaw, Kaplan actually fell asleep. No lie.
• Every household item moved into Krzysztof Soszynski's room? Every plate and spoon and fork on the basketball court? Those are the lamest pranks ever. In my day, decent pranks ended with a body count. Damn kids...
• Not only does Frank Mir stink at soccer, but he stinks at losing too.
• After having to face the vastly more-experienced Ben Rothwell twice in the IFL, Soszynski has definitely earned a few easy fights. We'll mark off his TUF bout against Kyle Kingsbury as one of the easy ones.