Scenes From an EliteXC Weigh-In

Yeah, so, Gina Carano had to get naked to make weight, Ken Shamrock and Kimbo Slice tussled, and Paul Daley got in Jake Shields' face. Just your standard weigh-in affair.

TUF 8 Analysis: Episode 3

Last night was the third episode of the TUF 8 season, which, based on what we've seen thus far, is a season that will entail a lot of action, coach Nogueira speaking and us not understanding him, and enough drunken antics to make even the most hardened alcoholic say, "Jeez, guys, chill out."

• All your booze belong to Junie Browning. All your stupidity, too.
• Al "Stankie" returns! Few may remember a non-English-speaking Vitor Belfort crying out "Stankie? Stankie?" after he won UFC 12. Ah, the good old days.
• Coach Nogueira thinks some of his guys should open a restaurant based on their cooking skills. In the extra footage that will be available on the TUF 8 DVD, coach Mir takes Krzysztof Soszynski aside and says that, based on his wrapping skills, he should work for UPS.
• Ryan Bader and Tom Lawlor made for a good fight. Seriously. They came to throw down.

Kimbo Slice: "Shamrock Ain't Street"

The war of words continues between EliteXC main eventers Kimbo Slice and Ken Shamrock, this time with Slice adding fuel to the fire. Concerning their impending CBS Saturday night prime time clash, the Internet fighting legend had this to say: "Shamrock ain't street. I'm street." Speaking from his mansion below the MacArthur Causeway in Miami, Slice - wearing a traffic cone on his head and a shirt bearing a painted yellow traffic pattern - went on to discuss his opponent's lack of credibility. "He ain't nothing, man. He thinks he's something he's not. But I'm the real deal. I am street. Cars be tryin' to drive on me - that's how street I am!" Tune in for more as MMA Journalist goes cageside for EliteXC's October 4th extravaganza.

Ken Shamrock: "Kimbo is a Whippersnapper"

Just days away from EliteXC's October 4th magnum opus on CBS and already the pre-fight trash talk has begun to heat up - this time courtesy of Ken Shamrock. In an interview conducted at the Lion's Den Retirement Facility in Ocala, Florida, "Old Man" Shamrock blasted his opponent for being a "disrespectful punk". "Kimbo is a whippersnapper," said the UFC 1 veteran. Hunched over his walker with a glass of Metamucil in hand, he added: "That youngster is in for a lesson he'll never forget. I have bowel movements tougher than him." Stay tuned to MMA Journalist for a rebuttal from Kimbo Slice.

The Only Game in Town?

Are you a pro fighter in the New York/New Jersey area looking to get a fight or two in before the new year? Well, unless you make it on to Ring of Combat's November 21st card at the Tropicana Casino & Resort in Atlantic City, you're out of luck. Battle Cage Xtreme, New Jersey's other regional show, doesn't return until maybe February of 2009, and promotions like Combat in the Cage and Reality Fighting - which were once staples of the Garden State circuit - are on permanent hiatus. Suddenly, ROC is the only game in town. Is this a sign of the economic downturn hitting East Coast MMA? Or is it just a confluence of scheduling snafus? Who knows. But one thing is sure: ROC's November line-up should be killer.

Underground Profile: James Funaro

When sanctioned amateur MMA leagues finally make it to New York, there's no question James Funaro should be a contender for some 175-pound championship belt. Hailing from Vamos BJJ and sporting an amateur record of 6-3, he's got solid wrestling, smooth jiu-jitsu, great conditioning and enough striking skill to knock opponents the hell out - and aside from a 19-second TKO loss to stud Josh Candon, Funaro has been kicking serious butt in the Underground Combat League. Case in point: last night's highlight-reel worthy high-kick KO, which came just two days after an armbar victory at a smoker on Long Island. Funaro clearly likes to fight, and he's getting pretty damn good at it.

Underground Combat League: "Capital Punishment"

Last night saw another installment of the Underground Combat League, this one at a new location and called "Capital Punishment". Vamos BJJ stud James Funaro went to war with ground-and-pound ace Kirkland Campbell, scoring a second-round knockout with a picture-perfect high kick to Campbell's head. Also victorious were Shawn Obasi, Peter Storm and Alejandro Richardson.

Observations from My Couch: ShoXC 9/26

• Erik Apple handily defeated the game Matt Makowski via rear naked choke in the second round. As a consolation to Makowski, Apple allegedly gave him two porn stars at the afterparty.
• Jaime Jara, bedecked in a variety of tattoos that includes the word "hate" across his chest, out-pointed Giva Santana for the win. Jara will now return to his full-time job running a day care center for young children.
• Malipet is living proof that Thais with one name are serious badasses on the feet. He's also living proof that Thais with one name suck on the ground.
• Wilson Reis went five rounds with Abel Cullum to snag the EliteXC Bantamweight Championship. After the event, Reis dragged the belt back to his burrow, where it will sit with his winter supply of acorns and nuts.

WEC Succumbs to Wall Street Crisis and Downsizes

The crisis on Wall Street has hit the world of mixed martial arts, with the WEC announcing today that they are officially abolishing their middleweight and light-heavyweight divisions to cut costs. The downsizing, which will leave 185-pound fighters such as Paulo Filho, Chael Sonnen and Tim McKenzie and 205-pound fighters such as Doug Marshall and Steve Cantwell unemployed, allows the promotion to focus completely on the smaller weight classes and save money that would normally be spent on actual human-sized athletes. "It's just dollars and sense," says Head Midget Wrangler Reed Harris. "Someone like Brian Stann is going to want to stay in a room at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino and eat energy bars and fruit backstage, whereas we can just keep Urijah Faber in a small cage and feed him crickets. It's just dollars and sense."

HDNet to Buy IFL for "MMA Bloopers and Practical Jokes" Television Show

Mark Cuban's HDNet is moving to buy the remaining assets of the IFL promotion for the sum of $650,000 according to a recent SEC filing. At the heart of the potential acquisition is the failed promotion's extensive video library, which will purportedly be the focal point of a new HDNet television show called "MMA Bloopers and Practical Jokes". The IFL, which woefully tried to divide a roster of B-level fighters amongst contrived teams such as the "San Diego Sea Anemones" and the "Milwaukee Marmots", filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection last week.