EliteXC is Dead

EliteXC, the promotion that brought Kimbo Slice, Gina Carano and a slew of other talented fighters to prime time network television, is dead. An official autopsy report won't be available for some time, but it is strongly suspected that the cause of death centered around financial woes. It's no secret that EliteXC had recently taken to begging and panhandling for loose change, with some speculating that the organization's nights were spent walking the streets to solicit "johns" and turn tricks. If true, this would've been a sad turn of events for the promotion responsible for the first and third most-watched MMA bouts in US history (Slice vs. James Thompson and Slice vs. Seth Petruzelli). EliteXC's unfortunate demise leaves quite a few fighters without a home, but more importantly, it leaves fans with fewer opportunities to watch fights. Without question, this is a loss everyone in the sport will feel. No details have been released yet concerning possible funeral services.

French Magistrate Issues Arrest Warrant for Jim Miller's Rape of David Baron

A French magistrate has issued an arrest warrant for AMA Fight Club/Team Renzo lightweight Jim Miller, which stems from Miller's three-round raping of Parisien judoka David Baron at UFC 89. The bout, which was not shown on Saturday's SpikeTV broadcast but is available for free at UFC.com, featured a dominant performance by the New Jersey native, with Baron tapping out to a rear naked choke in the third round. Said Magistrate Claude Tete-du-Merde: "Ze people of France will not stand for this outrage. All guilty parties will be brought to justice!" There are no extradition agreements between France and New Jersey, and it is unclear how this may affect Miller's international fighting career.

Observations from My Couch: UFC 89

• This UFC proved to be the most painful to watch ever, as there were no less than three groin shots requiring a brief recovery time. I will be wearing a cup when I watch UFC 90, thank you very much.
• Paul Taylor was robbed when that decision went to Chris Lytle. Where's Scotland Yard when you need them?
• Why does Sokoudjou all of a sudden suck?
• Chris Leben and Michael Bisping fought a fantastic fight and Bisping more than deserved that win. But it really says something when your opponent chases you around the cage with his chin out and hands down, begging you to trade punches with him, and still you can't knock him out. If Bisping ever faces Anderson Silva, he's going to get slaughtered.

The Return of Jay Isip?

If the card holds together, then ROC 22 will bring us the return of one of New Jersey's most exciting fighters. That's right, Jay Isip is coming back. "Who?" you ask? Back when BAMA FightNight was the only show in town, Isip - who hails from Team Endgame and fights like a 155-pound wrestler on crystal meth - was kicking ass in Shootfighting tournaments, and he made the leap to Reality Fighting and Sportfighting when those promotions rolled around. Yes, his record sucks, but the dude had zero problems fighting the best (Kurt Pellegrino, Frankie Edgar, Deividas Taurosevicius), and every time he fought you could count on a balls-to-the-wall performance. Pray that when November 21st comes, Isip is still on the card.

Things That Won't Happen at UFC 89

UFC 89. Birmingham, England. SpikeTV. Yeah, right on. Anyway, the following is a list of things that definitely won't happen at the Michael Bisping/Chris Leben headlined event.

1. Chris Leben will not win by omoplata.
2. Michael Bisping will not say anything after the bout that an American will be able to understand.
3. Brandon Vera will not do a victory dance resembling the Cha-Cha or the Charleston. Sadly.
4. Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou will not utilize a cloaking device or shoulder-mounted laser.
5. Marcus Davis will not thank the Irish Republican Army for their war against the British.
6. Chris Lytle will not get cut and bleed profusely. Oh, forget that one. He's going to be spurting blood simply from walking to the cage.

Preliminary ROC 22 Card Released

A preliminary card for Ring of Combat 22 on November 21st has been released, and while the event is five weeks away - which is plenty of time for fighters to drop out - the assembled roster as it stands now is certainly an impressive one. Perennial top New Jersey fighter Chris Liguori makes his return, as does TUF veteran Dante Rivera (against TUF washout Paul Bradley), EliteXC veteran John Doyle, and jiu-jitsu black belt Igor Gracie. Some other fighters to watch:

• Tim Troxell - one of the best 145 pounders in the Garden State, he'll be facing ROC "Beasts of the Northeast" tournament finalist Dave Sachs.
• Tom Gallicchio - a top-ranked welterweight, Gallicchio will be taking on a tough but overmatched Rich Ashkar.
• Jimmie Rivera and Nick Pace - the next generation of Team Tiger Schulmann's MMA warriors, both fighters are transitioning to pro from extensive amateur careers.
• Leandro Hernandez - a tough BAMA FightNight vet in need of a win, Hernandez will be taking on UCL vet Andrew Leone.
• Dom Stanco - a welterweight with heavy, heavy hands, Stanco should be fighting for a belt soon.
• Greg Soto - a welterweight CITC champ, Soto is another fighter on the fast track to big things.
• Joe Abouata - the first guy to beat Carlton Haselrig, Abouata is a BCX champ and a top heavyweight in New Jersey.

Frenchman David Baron Prepared to Retreat, Surrender Against Jim Miller

UFC 89 is nearly upon us, and the Birmingham, England event features a bevy of moderately-talented US and international fighters mixed with scrubs - plus the occasional future star. One such future star is lightweight Jim Miller, a jiu-jitsu bad boy who went from dominating the New Jersey circuit to kicking Bart Palaszewski's ass in the IFL. His opponent for UFC 89: David Baron, a Frenchman with a judo background and a recent win over a past-his-prime Hayato Sakurai. Expect Baron to choke on a baguette, complain about America, and retreat and surrender at the earliest opportunity. UFC 89 will air for free on SpikeTV on Saturday night (on a tape delay), and the main event pits UK "Great White Hope" Michael Bisping against the hard-headed Chris Leben in a bout that promises a lot of crazed looks and unintelligible post-fight speeches.

TUF 8 Analysis: Episode 5

The fifth episode of TUF 8 saw a lot less alcohol consumption, a lot more of coach Nogueira speaking incoherently, and a quick fight between two light-heavyweights who belong in the minor leagues fighting for a cheap and tacky belt and bragging rights at the local Hooters.

• Junie Browning jumps the cage and threatens Efrain Escudero after Escudero's win. His punishment for this shameful outburst? Dana White shaking his head disapprovingly while simultaneously salivating over his new ticking time bomb/potential ratings goldmine. Frank Mir, please eat this guy already!
• The more I see Stankie stumbling around mumbling like that drunk Vietnam veteran uncle who everyone avoids at family gatherings, the more I like him. I predict the TUF kids are going to wake up one morning and find Stankie passed out on the lawn. That's just a hunch.
• Anderson Silva's guest appearance and subsequent sparring with the TUF kids made me think of a child casually batting around his GI Joe action figures. Only in that scenario, Silva would be the child's parent, and the TUF kids would be the discarded cardboard boxes the action figures came in.
• Coach Nogueira was very endearing going to the TUF house and asking the guys to lay off the pranks. He strikes me as the type of parent that shows up at school asking the bullies to please stop stuffing his son in a locker. Sadly, that always ends up with the son getting stuffed into a trash can instead.

The American Fight League is a Lie

It's time to face the truth, folks: the American Fight League, which made headlines a few months back for signing top female fighter Tara LaRosa, Bobby Lashley of the WWE, Elvis and a unicorn, is a lie. A big, fat lie. Their promised pay-per-view event has yet to materialize, and today it's being reported that the rematch between LaRosa and Roxanne Modaferri, which was slated for the November 8th Ironheart Crown show and to be paid for by the AFL (think: the lone Affliction bout on the last EliteXC card), is now kaput due to lack of funding. Listen, I enjoy a good pipe dream as much as the next guy, but when you promise fighters - and fans - the world, you should at least give them a continent or decent-sized island. The AFL, however, has given us nothing. Nothing! At least YAMMA Pit Fighting had a show and some T-shirts.

Thiago Alves to Face Opponent of Indeterminate Ethnic Origin

Things suddenly got more complicated for Thiago Alves. Originally scheduled to face Diego Sanchez at UFC 90 on October 25th, the American Top Team star welterweight will now square off against Josh Koscheck thanks to a rib injury Sanchez sustained in training - a last-minute change that definitely throws a monkey wrench in the works for the ATT fighter. "We trained to face a Mexican," says coach Ricardo Liborio. "But now... now what do we train for? A white guy? A black guy? This man is like 'Gonzo' from the Muppets. No one knows what he is!"